It was twelve thirty-seven when Roger Smith was awakened by the android Dorothy's loud piano playing. Grumbling, Roger Smith hauled himself out of bed and scratched his butt. He walked into his living room to tell Dorothy off, and tripped over the golden robot from the end of chapter one.
"Augh! What's this garbage?" Roger pulled the note off the robot's head. "'Do not touch. This megadeus, 'Luminoid,' is property of Beck Gold. This means you, Roger Smith, who I hate. Wet Paint.'" "Norman!"
"Yessir?" Norman slurred.
"What is this... thing?"
"I believe it's a robot of some kind sir."
"Yes! It all makes sense now! Did you destroy the Little O yet?"
"No sir, but I've laid several mines throughout the house. Little O should hit one soon."
As if on cue an explosion rocked the house. Norman left the room to investigate. After a moment of silence, Roger spoke.
"Did you get it?"
"No sir." Norman shouted back. "It's just one of those giant mutant sewer rats that live in the old subway station; the rats that can shoot lasers from their eyes?"
Roger frowned. "I don't care about those things. Where's Little O?"
Also as if on cue, Little O snuck up on Roger Smith and tapped him on the shoulder. But Little O was stronger than it thought, and almost killed Roger. But because he's the main character, he wasn't dead; only severely wounded and wishing he was dead. But he healed quickly.
The next morning, Roger left his bedroom and tripped over Beck's robot again. "This is getting monotonous. Is that little robotic menace dead yet?"
Dorothy answered. "No Roger. In fact, Norman has broken both his legs, both arms, and both backs trying to destroy it. He has also ruined his brain. But I think you should know that the yellow chair you just bought is reading the newspaper and smoking at the table."
Roger looked at the table to see Beck providing the aforementioned actions. "Don't be stupid; that's just the arch criminal Beck Gold, who I suspect has stolen the Hellfire cannon to attach to a giant robot. Now get out of the way, I have important things to do, like destroy Little O!"
At the mention of Little O's name, Roger pulled out a ridiculously big assault rifle and began shooting randomly at his wall. "Ya hear that you little monster? Roger's coming to kill ya!"
As Roger went down the hallways, shooting at anything and laughing manically, Beck jumped up. "I must make the first move, in my grim revenge against Roger Smith, which I only just thought of this second. Oh boy, this is going to be cool!"
But it was too late. As Beck climbed into his Luminoid robot, Roger Smith in Big O exploded from the ground outside and fired a volley of missiles with intent of destroying Little O. But all the missiles miraculously missed Little O and everything else in the house, only to come crashing down on Beck in Luminoid. It was not pretty.
Roger jumped out of Big O into the living room. Beck, battered bruised and toasted, crawled out of his robot. "Curse you... Negotiator," was all he could say before he bled into unconsciousness.
Norman suddenly walked into the room. "Why look sir, it's the Hellfire cannon." Norman pointed at the obvious.
"What!?! I mean, just as I thought!" Roger looked around suspiciously. "And it's in perfect shape!" At those words the barrel of the Hellfire cannon fell off, exposing wires that sparked pathetically. "Well Norman, bring it outside."
"Outside sir? It's bolted onto this robot. To bring it outside, I'll have to cut it down with a hacksaw."
"I don't care Norman, just do it."
As Norman did that, Roger Smith turned around to talk to Little O, who had just meandered into the room at that moment. "Now Little O, I'm going to collect a heap of cash for this piece of trash. While I'm gone, don't doom mankind as we know it!"
Once Roger had left, Little O spouted a string of robot obscenities, and sat on a stack of high definition explosives. Roger Smith's house didn't have a chance.
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