The Paradigm Confessional Thread

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Originally posted by Xel spoiler (highlight to read): I'm crampy and contemplating taking one of the vicodin left over from my oral surgery.

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Do it.

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Originally posted by Travis Bickle quote: Originally posted by Xel spoiler (highlight to read): I'm crampy and contemplating taking one of the vicodin left over from my oral surgery. spoiler (highlight to read): Do it.

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Nngh. I would, but I've also got a test to take in a couple hours.

Oh this looks like fun...NOT.

I'll take a stab anyways.

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A certain point of my life killed off most of my emotions. I still feel, but only in very very exagerrated circumstances..as in love, or high amounts of anger. But it's nothing near to what I once had. I do feel like this is for the better, though..because this is where the second confession comes in.

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I used to get angry at the smallest, most pointless things. Unbridled rage, which left me to attack myself in..fits, of sorts. It was bizarre. No one knew I did it though, I always hid myself beforehand.

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I pretty much don't remember any of my teenage years, and don't wish to remember them.

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Many moons ago, cats had injured a vole outside..it had a broken leg, possibly. Didn't walk well. But, I knew they were pests..so I beat it to death with a shovel. I told my grandma that I "saved it" with a grin. She thought I had rescued it, I guess. Lawlz.

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I'm in a Love Cube. This is going to be long and stupid so you can just skip it..but anyways. I have an ex-boyfriend who I love with..most of my heart, grand majority. He is very dear to me, and supposedly still loves me as well. So why is he my ex? Because he's retarded and thinks about the future too much. He wants to work in another country, and "doesn't want to drag" me with him. I wouldn't want to be in another country, would be hard for me to get a visa and etc. So this killed our relationship..but yeah, he hasn't made any efforts towards his mystical job and we still hang out as "friends" and yes there's sex involved. So what the hell. He really pisses me off with that, but a part of me thinks this is for the best anyways. Yet another part prevents me from dating anyone else in hopes we'll get back together, and still refers to him as my boyfriend..accidently, but still. -_- Number two..is my best friend. It's not so much love..as in, relationship-wise. It's past that. He's given me so much, and helped me so much, that I just love him. There's really no other word for it, and I know we're not going to pursue anything..but I include him in the Cube anyway. Lawlz. Number three.... Number four..is who you all know as Nine XXVI. I'm not about to go into this though, just feels odd with him posting here and all.

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Maybe it's obvious but I'm a doormat. I dislike myself to the point of not even caring about my own wellbeing.

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I cannot sleep without holding a stuffed animal or pillow or..anything. And I also cannot sleep in anyone's bed but my own. Well, I can..but it takes days. Meaning, when I go on a trip..and it only lasts two days, I don't sleep those two days, because I'm not "used to" the hotel bed. So I hate vacations. XD

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I honestly forget what gender I am most of the time, as in when people refer to me in gender-specific terms I don't realize they're talking about me.

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I am a generally intelligent being, I was in TAG classes for a reason I guess. But nowadays...even when I know an answer to something, I always ask someone else first, or act like I don't know the answer. I consistently try to portray myself as "dim", for what reason I don't know.

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spoiler (highlight to read): Also, I realize I've pretty much been dazed, confused, and in a haze since like 2004. I don't know why though.

This except instead it's really just been more like..one year.

.....oh my Gopd.

...Sure I'll post, why not?

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I've killed off most emotions on the outside. I could be insanly sad and not a single person would know because I don't show emotions outside of happiness and some anger.

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I'm bi. All off my family and over 1/2 my friends don't know that.

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I'm highly paranoid and find it almost impossible to trust people even my family and good friends. I know they'll turn on at one point so why bother letting them get close enough.

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I gave up any type of belief in a god or hope when I was very young. (3-ish)

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I've gone thru most of my life in a daze and don't remeber much of it.

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Originally posted by Hollow XXVI .....oh my Gopd.

Correct answer for 1000.

*Sighs*

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I have a bad habit occasionally of assuming people who I don't know are uh...not very intelligent or deserve less respect for some twisted reason (Not any of you guys of course!). Related to this is how sometimes I come to dislike random people who I've never even spoken to; just by the way they look, which of course is a terrible thing to do as I'm hardly perfect myself!

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Originally posted by Mr. D spoiler (highlight to read): I gave into the forces of Chaos. I now have an active MySpace.

The human body is roughly 80% water.

You are roughly 80% failure.

Hey I share some things with you, Pie.

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I am also bisexual, and a grand majority of my family has no idea. Except my brother. No friends IRL know either, it's just not something worth mentioning...and I think it would be very, very awkward.

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I'm also terribly paranoid and don't trust people easily. I've known some people on the interweb for 4 years and I'm just getting started telling them about myself.

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Number 3 previously mentioned was just a false alarm. Lol. I act like a flighty little teenager sometimes, but only with relationships. I guess some Japanese guy with a Lolita fetish would LOVE me.

Don't kill yourself. Actions like that make everyone miserable.

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Last year on this day, I went out for some fresh air with my mom and little cousin. A guy ran out into a parking ot and got arrested. It was the worst Christmas Eve ever saved only by the fact I got to hold my cousin close for comfort and I got my Christmas gifts a day early. And a part of me still believes in Santa Clause. I'm never sure why.

Uh...well...

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I...kind of have a myspace page too. I swear it's only for contact purposes...it was my mom's fault. Besides it's not like I go there every second or anything...and I'm serious there. Though LJ is a different story ...