The Paradigm Confessional Thread

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I think that there is something wrong with me if I am willing to give up the guy I have feelings for in order for him to be with someone else.

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I do not believe that I am in love, however I feel as though I am well on my way into falling in love, and I do not wish to fall in love because I have had very bad experiences with it. . .

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I have been so stressed out lately that I took a razor blade to my arm.

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But before I could inflict much damage upon myself, my crush took my razor blade away from me.

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My crush and I cuddled in the rain tonight. It was fun. I blew him a kiss.

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I got a Virgin Mobile Flasher V7 Cameraphone! It's spiffy.

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my best friend just got a new gf and im totally jealous of her... i don't know why, but i am....

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i talked to the chick and i really dont like her either... she was VERY protective, and went so far as to tell him NOT to talk to me =_= what am i to do though? if he listens to her then i lose my best friend... but im seriously not after him...

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Originally posted by darktacy spoiler (highlight to read): my best friend just got a new gf and im totally jealous of her... i don't know why, but i am.... spoiler (highlight to read): i talked to the chick and i really dont like her either... she was VERY protective, and went so far as to tell him NOT to talk to me =_= what am i to do though? if he listens to her then i lose my best friend... but im seriously not after him...

Same thing happened to me and my friend. The chick didn't like me either, but she got used to the fact that I didn't want him at all and that he was one of my closest friends, so things weren't so bad later on.

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Originally posted by YoruameBaroness spoiler (highlight to read): I think that there is something wrong with me if I am willing to give up the guy I have feelings for in order for him to be with someone else. spoiler (highlight to read): I do not believe that I am in love, however I feel as though I am well on my way into falling in love, and I do not wish to fall in love because I have had very bad experiences with it. . .

I have been here too. However, the girls I gave up so they can go with their "love of their life" ended up hating them. So, if you love that person and they love you, don't give them up. It does more harm than good.

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Originally posted by YoruameBaroness spoiler (highlight to read): I have been so stressed out lately that I took a razor blade to my arm. spoiler (highlight to read): But before I could inflict much damage upon myself, my crush took my razor blade away from me. spoiler (highlight to read): My crush and I cuddled in the rain tonight. It was fun. I blew him a kiss.

I once told a friend this, the end of life doesn't solve any problems, it just places a heavier burden on the living. Dudette, you know that your crush digs you, so live for him (and yourself) each day you are with him.

On to mine:

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This, by far, was the best Thanksgiving holiday I have ever had.

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I may be moving out to live closer to my girlfriend by the end of January.

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I am trading Veruca for a truck (or SUV). I need it for the move and to have something more useful.

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Originally posted by Fujiko spoiler (highlight to read): For the first time in a long time, I feel homesick, and a little depressed.

it will be allright, i felt horably home sick in the marines... but i couldent even call them... i could only write them and the letters took 2 weeks...

so i guss i'm saying, when ever you feel reely home sick, call to just say "hi" it will probley make you feel better.

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quote: Originally posted by Tony quote: Originally posted by YoruameBaroness [SPOILER] I have been so stressed out lately that I took a razor blade to my arm. spoiler (highlight to read): But before I could inflict much damage upon myself, my crush took my razor blade away from me. spoiler (highlight to read): My crush and I cuddled in the rain tonight. It was fun. I blew him a kiss. I once told a friend this, the end of life doesn't solve any problems, it just places a heavier burden on the living. Dudette, you know that your crush digs you, so live for him (and yourself) each day you are with him. On to mine: spoiler (highlight to read): This, by far, was the best Thanksgiving holiday I have ever had. spoiler (highlight to read): I may be moving out to live closer to my girlfriend by the end of January. spoiler (highlight to read): I am trading Veruca for a truck (or SUV). I need it for the move and to have something more useful.

>YoruameBaroness

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I myself use to cut myself alot...I have been cutting myself or accidently hurting myself for years..just..jsut stupid stuff...for things...everything and anything..even for waht was no reason at all. I would... use anything from razor blades, siscors, ex-acto knives, keys... even my own nails...anything that I could get my hands on that would break the flesh so that I could bleed out the pain, sorrowss... or sadness of things.... i understand where you are comming from....buts its true...its not the thing to do... even i am learning that.... infact it was, my love...who also saved me...Tony, you ...you have helped me to stop doing this....but its true its not helpful at all....its....its not the thing gg to do... the thigng to do is to livee....too live for your love and for yourselff too...itss its betterr thiss wayy...

>Tony

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Tony this this was truly my first real thanksgiving or at leas thte first one i actually really seriously 100% me..attened too...I have neverr been close to my familyy....my own familyy...it just..neverr workeddd otut that way and stuff but thsi time reallyyy I had a familyy and my love...you are you are my famillyy i hatedd holidays all of theemm thankssgivigs, christmass - especiallyy chrristmass becassueee itss suspoes to bee happyyy withhh familyyy buttt myy familyyy itss differenttt nott funn andd stuff..butt withhh youuu myy lovee youuu areee my familyy thsis wasss thee happiesttt holidayyy i everrr haddd... therrrr wwass famillyyyyy...hommeeee cookeeddd foodd soo tastyyyyy..andd loveee... all off ittt..ittt meannsss soo oo muchhh too mee...thankkk youuuu

>Tony

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againn...loveeee youuu...youuuu doontttt havee tttoooo doooo thesesss thignsss..ifff youuuu noott wanttt toooo....itss okiesss..s.. Ii ii jsutt wnattt youuuu toooo knowwww youououo havee eopttionss totootooooo.....

>Mineeee...

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iii strugggglingg withth schhhooolllll.....thee homee worrksss andd stuffff...itss jsutt gettingg ahrdss... Iii amm nottt moddivatttedd att all..ii stilll doo itt buttt ittss jsutttt gettss hardserr andd harderr too dooo ii talkeeed witthtth myy advisoorrr todayay aboutts itss...shess saysss its salrihghgttt andd stufff buttt nooo...iii hass tooo dooo bettterrr witthhhh schoollll.... iii ammm nott failureee....and nott faillingg calssss....buttt.its sjsutt hardd...butt things..s..thingss areee getttinggg betterrrr...theyeey aree....soooo ii goo on..... I will go on!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Originally posted by ¡SpoonySthingyy! spoiler (highlight to read): at lunch today, my moms bf said "my junior year, i was really intelligent, but i was lazy as hell and failed" and my mom said "looks like you have a lot in common" and was talking about me. i am not dumb, and i know that, everyones expectations of me is what kills me. i dont care because everyone else cares so much. i hate it. i dont want to be good because everyone expects it, im not perfect, and when im good they expect me to be better, its never good enough. i can't excel in their eyes no matter what. its never good enough. and i cant succeed with that frame of mind. but i cant leave it either.

I wish parents would figure out how burdensome their expectations are to their kids. I mean, when people have kids, they have this fantasy about how their kids are going to be perfect -- everything the parents ever wanted to be themselves. If the parents are wise, they discard this idea as stupid and bogus and help the kids grow up to be whoever the kids turn out to be. The unwise parents never outgrow their fantasy, and punish their children for not measuring up to it (or down to it).

It's hard enough being yourself!

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Originally posted by A Clockwork Tomato quote: Originally posted by ¡SpoonySthingyy! spoiler (highlight to read): at lunch today, my moms bf said "my junior year, i was really intelligent, but i was lazy as hell and failed" and my mom said "looks like you have a lot in common" and was talking about me. i am not dumb, and i know that, everyones expectations of me is what kills me. i dont care because everyone else cares so much. i hate it. i dont want to be good because everyone expects it, im not perfect, and when im good they expect me to be better, its never good enough. i can't excel in their eyes no matter what. its never good enough. and i cant succeed with that frame of mind. but i cant leave it either. I wish parents would figure out how burdensome their expectations are to their kids. I mean, when people have kids, they have this fantasy about how their kids are going to be perfect -- everything the parents ever wanted to be themselves. If the parents are wise, they discard this idea as stupid and bogus and help the kids grow up to be whoever the kids turn out to be. The unwise parents never outgrow their fantasy, and punish their children for not measuring up to it (or down to it). It's hard enough being yourself!

I agree.

GAT, you have no idea how many times I've tried that.

it's not easy.

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Originally posted by ¡SpoonySthingyy! spoiler (highlight to read): at lunch today, my moms bf said "my junior year, i was really intelligent, but i was lazy as hell and failed" and my mom said "looks like you have a lot in common" and was talking about me. i am not dumb, and i know that, everyones expectations of me is what kills me. i dont care because everyone else cares so much. i hate it. i dont want to be good because everyone expects it, im not perfect, and when im good they expect me to be better, its never good enough. i can't excel in their eyes no matter what. its never good enough. and i cant succeed with that frame of mind. but i cant leave it either.

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My mom and stepdad were kind of the same way, but instead of school, it was my behavoir and attitude that they were talking about. I got used to it after a while but also realized that they were also a couple of douchebags. It happens, Spoony.

Oh yeah, and this:

http://www.constructioncomplete.com/Diam...CS853Pro15.html

I know, it really isn't easy. Hell I can't even live up to my own expectations.

But at least know that you're not the only person in that situation.

Thank you Tony for the words of encouragement . . .I really needed that. Thank you too, Beth, as you speak from experience . . .

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Well I am no longer able to inflict damage on myself since the guy I like has my razor blade. In fact, I saw it in his car, on the dashboard.

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Today the Air Force recruiter called me. ROFL.

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I spent $86 on Christmas presents.

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My crush and I cuddled in the backroom while he was counting the money and I . . .clumsy me . . .knocked over the cash box. We both laughed. It was hilarious!

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I stole my crush's spiffy pen. He ain't getting it back, either . . .I made a 98 on my essay and I wrote it with his pen. XD

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I have a need for speed . . .I did 120 on the way home . . .but I won't ever do it again . . .my heart was racing faster than my car!

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My hair is longer, but thinner. I like it being longer, but I wish it were thick again.

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My busy lifestyle has taken its toll on my body.

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My crush saw the scars on my back. I'll never forget the look of shock on his face.

And, one I really don't want to reveal, but I think I'll feel better if I do anyway:

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My grandmother hit me yesterday. With a cast-iron skillet. In my left shoulder. It left a purple bruise. She's really stressed out. In the meantime, I'm staying with my friend Tomoyo-chan.

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Originally posted by Michael Seebach: [Zopwx2] spoiler (highlight to read): Honest confession: This is an incredibly melodramatic and tired thread

Stop reading it, then.