The Paradigm Confessional Thread

I honestly don't like being mean to people......

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Originally posted by DominusofDeath I honestly don't like being mean to people......

GOOD! Neither do I. I can never bring myself to be mean to someone I'm mad at so I just stop talking to them.

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Originally posted by GAT-X105 quote: Originally posted by DominusofDeath I honestly don't like being mean to people...... GOOD! Neither do I. I can never bring myself to be mean to someone I'm mad at so I just stop talking to them.

No. I meant. I'm an asshole to people all the time. Because like most people I think it makes me look cool. But it doesn't it makes me look like an asshole. And I'm sick of being branded an asshole.

Oh. OHHH!!
Then stop being an asshole. Yeah I know it's hard to change but you'll be better for it.

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Originally posted by Trotsky i've got something spoiler (highlight to read): as most of you know me and xana became an item. and after i did the world for her, she bliped me out of her life like i was nothing. i would confort her if she had a bad dream or day, i would spend hours on the phone with her. then like i was completly worthless she just dicided never to talk to me again. she spred lies about things i dident do. she was never sorry, or did she ever feel bad about what she did to me. she broke me. i was allready reely bad off because of what happned to me in the marines. and what she did to me threw me into being complety suicidel, and still she dosent even care a tiny bit. now i have trouble leaveing my house every day, i have gone back to haveing the horrable nightmaris form what happned to me in boot camp. and most people i know have taken to feel bad for her, and angry at me. most people have taken her side even tho she was so horrable to me. i have to confess i dont understand why every one takes her side. just becuse she's a girl? because ever one belaves the lie's she spread? hear i am, severl pints low. scars all over my arm. she's ruined my life. and she's not even sorry.

here is mine....*sigh

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Who I thought seemed like a really nice guy on the phone and online turned out to be someone totally different, he was so imature, and so....eh......I know he was nervous, so was I, but he made a fool out of himself infront of my friends and everybody else in the mall. He had nothing relivent to say, and he suclued himself from us. I wasn't having a good time, and I know he wasn't either, but I didn't want to say anything to him. He got me in trouble at work, he was hanging around too much and the managers there had to tell him to go away, they thought he was harassing me and my co-worker. So, I had to go to physical therapy after work. Went there, picked up my friend and we met him at the mall. We met up with my friends at Spencers, he didn't do anything, all my friends tried talking to him, he just left and sat outside the store. How the hell can I make someone feel joined in when they dont' even try? *sigh..... Well we went to the movie and then went to Perkins, We all talked about our lives and funny things that have happened to us...he would say anything and then he got mad when noone asked (by the way to two other people there I didn't know, they were my friends date and his sis). So....he drove my friends date and his sis home...we stoped for smokes. And after we droped then off we got lost, and I was really freaking out bc he wasn't taking any of my friends directions at all, it was like he wanted to get lost. I started to freak...I mean I'm a small girl and Trotsky could easyly subdue me and my friend, so I was extreamly uneasy. He said, afterawhile, "no offence to the people in the back seat, but do you want to go at it?" So don't get me wrong in the fact that I was now, not only unattracted to him, but EXTREMLY nervous and scared. I couldn't belive that he would do such a thing, he seemed so nice and such a gentlemen over the phone, I didn't think that he would be this forward, when he could tell that I was NOT having fun. He droped us off at my friends house, and he asked me to stay, I didn't want to be mean and tell him no that I never wanted to seem him again, I figured he was a senceable person, and I would let him down easyily. So he gave me this ring, and I think that it's still at my friends house. So, I figured everything was fine, I was going to pm him, but the damn hurricanes hit and I never got around to doing it. But this whole suiside crap from him is so imature, he is just doing it to get attention, and yes I would feel bad if he wouldn't be so childish about it and attention seeking. So if it f**kn' makes your feel better Trotsky, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, but I in no way now feel bad, bc your being childish, your acing like your in middle school. Grow up, I was not that monumental in your life. And how horrible of you to make asumtums of what my feelings are, when you haven't spoken to me sence.... oh and HOW DARE YOU CALL MY MOTHERS WORK AND ASK FOR HER E-MAIL TO SEND HER MY PICTURES!!! YOU HAVE SOME REAL F**KN PROBLEMS ALEX!!!

k, had to get that out....oy..

Since it seems some members aren't listening, I shall repost two comments by two moderators:

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Originally posted by dawnstrider *Clears throat* Ahem, spoiler (highlight to read): Nothing personal to all of those that find some enjoyment out of this thread - that's what we are all here for, anyway - but I do think that you people need to make the fine distinction between what classifies as an actually confession, and what is an irk involving a daily occurrence. Sorry if that rubs you the wrong way, but do believe that I and others who feel the same way have been patient. Thanks for the time .

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Originally posted by Grunger Kittie Version 1 Just a reminder, this isn't the "I hate my life and every person that lives" thread. This is the confessions thread. Complaining that "Life sucks" and Confessing a secret, are two different things. This keeps up, I'm closing the thread.

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Originally posted by R.Smith Since it seems some members aren't listening, I shall repost two comments by two moderators: quote: Originally posted by dawnstrider *Clears throat* Ahem, spoiler (highlight to read): Nothing personal to all of those that find some enjoyment out of this thread - that's what we are all here for, anyway - but I do think that you people need to make the fine distinction between what classifies as an actually confession, and what is an irk involving a daily occurrence. Sorry if that rubs you the wrong way, but do believe that I and others who feel the same way have been patient. Thanks for the time . quote: Originally posted by Grunger Kittie Version 1 Just a reminder, this isn't the "I hate my life and every person that lives" thread. This is the confessions thread. Complaining that "Life sucks" and Confessing a secret, are two different things. This keeps up, I'm closing the thread.

Honestly, I don't really see the point of this thread. If anyone wants to vent out their feelings, get a blog or something. This is an anime-based forum. Now, I've contributed to this in the past, but that's just going along with everything, plut I've thought it over now, too.

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Originally posted by Cerpin Taxt Honestly, I don't really see the point of this thread. If anyone wants to vent out their feelings, get a blog or something. This is an anime-based forum. Now, I've contributed to this in the past, but that's just going along with everything, plut I've thought it over now, too.

The point is that this is a community that has a lot of good, helpful people in it; people to whom we can reach out if we choose. Different members make use of this in different ways; one is the Confession thread. A blog doesn't provide anything like the same effect.

I think this is important, even though, in practice, the process is hit-or-miss and often painful to read, whether we see a fellow member's distress expressed openly or obscured by rants or flames.

Sometimes I think that the uncontrollability of a thread is a measure of its value, rather than its lack of it.

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I have been under a massive amount of stress lately. Work has been a pain.

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I have come to the realization that I love my girlfriend in a very deep level. She is the missing piece of my life.

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I have been in many arguments as of late, yet nobody will deter me from my resolve! I will not be stopped. I will only do whatever is needed for a speedy resolution, nothing more!

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Lately, I have had to show my mean side. It seems people equate nice with stupidity or push over. Anyone with half a brain would know this is hardly the case and I will demonstrate my strength to anyone who challenges my resolve.

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I have been a Semi-Pacifist (I will only fight in the defense of love ones, that's it. I will not defend myself) for 11 years.

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Originally posted by Tony spoiler (highlight to read): I have been under a massive amount of stress lately. Work has been a pain. spoiler (highlight to read): I have come to the realization that I love my girlfriend in a very deep level. She is the missing piece of my life. spoiler (highlight to read): I have been in many arguments as of late, yet nobody will deter me from my resolve! I will not be stopped. I will only do whatever is needed for a speedy resolution, nothing more! spoiler (highlight to read): Lately, I have had to show my mean side. It seems people equate nice with stupidity or push over. Anyone with half a brain would know this is hardly the case and I will demonstrate my strength to anyone who challenges my resolve. spoiler (highlight to read): I have been a Semi-Pacifist (I will only fight in the defense of love ones, that's it. I will not defend myself) for 11 years.

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Aw my love thank you tahnk you so much!! I wish I could be there right now and at least sit by your side and hold you.

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I have sort been a little stressed to in many ways school is flat out being rude to me in many ways and it is not just the school work load. Teachers ask me strange questions and I do not like the way they say things there is one teacher my dreaded speech teacher she looks at me weird and stuff. I have said things to other faculty they say it is only "her sense of hummor" right well one of these days...grrr... I don't know

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Anotehr thing with school is that flat out I hate it where i am at, its not fun..... tey have lied to me abotu many thigns here and well flat out thats wrong and well iam not happy and even though they say next semester will be different i fear they are worng

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whaoo yes another issue the barn its suspose to be a place i enjoy somewhere to go see the horses pet them etc and take care of them...sadly it is run by the barn snoobs or nazis i likes not want to be there in many ways and i loves and miss hoirses

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finially for some reasons that i nit evens knows i find myself sad all time i happy one second then sopmetimes sad but not know why its get better then sometimes worse i try not let gets to me its gett beter thouhgh i has sweet awasome friends!!! And the love of my life Tony!!!! ^_^""

I know this is off topic but could we possibly have this thread moved to The Bar?

As for my confession...

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I tend to avoid unattractive people just because they are unattractive. I'm a terrible person.

Remember what I said about this thread being usless, nix that for a second. I owe someone an apology.

This does not go in a spoiler box! THIS IS A PUBLIC CONFESSION!

Always in my life I have acted like a total gentlmen towards women. I never used derogatory names or slang that many people have grown accustomed to. Ever since I failed to prevent my friend getting raped, I've been even more protective and careful around and towards women. I've criticized others for what they do/say towards/to women.

However, tonight I made a stupid comment referring to someone as "p****", which was a stupid thing on my part. It's probobly the first time I ever did that, and will definately be the last.

So, with that said, I'm sorry, Corey. I really feel like sh** about that.

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im depressed and need to get away from EVERYTHING!!!!

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my bf hates my best friend and its driving me insane

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i feel like doing bad things to other people.... like murder and such.

I am now feeling a bit better about myself and my future as an artist. For a couple of months, I had been close to being depressed that I'd never be able to get a good job and be happy when I grow up. (Huh... "When I grow up". I wonder when I'm going to be "grown up"...)

Anywho, I had always felt that I was no good as an artist. Sure, I may be talented, but I had absolutely no direction (as in the "no direction" that my life itself was in). I guess I chose to do fan art all the time because I was afraid to express myself. And that was because I was afraid of myself.

However, thanks to a few intense months of self-discovery and tweaking of my personal philosophies, I've been on the track of finally getting to the core of my identity. And that sort of thing is absolutely priceless when you're an artist (but it doesn't hurt if you're not one, too).

Now, I can see a renaissance on the horizon of my future, and lemme tell ya, it's a really big relief. After over a year and a half of fogginess, I can see the light of a renewed life for me, and my art is going to be the key to that new life. And now that lots of colleges have been impressed by my portfolio (even the School of the Art Institute of Chicago!), I'm determined to strive and make myself better so that I can secure a good place for me.

It's going to be hard, but I'm so happy that I've never been readier for such a big change.