The Paradigm Confessional Thread

Sharpshooter005 11-08-2004 08:19 PM
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You know, those are the only things I actually like. Beer and hard stuff both taste like crap to me.


Yeah.

I'm not passing judgement. I mean...statistically. I'M the nutty one (vodka, scotch, and irish whiskey are like battery acid to many...except me.)

But I used to put spoonfulls of SALT into glasses of tapwater as a child, and I was convinced that drinking enough tonic water would give me some kind of resistance to malaria (quinine.).

I wish that was a joke..trust me, it's not.

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Confession? Um...oh, yes. It's always a party when you're in a situation where you'd give anything for someone or something, but have no chance of success. For extra melancholic fun , it's best when you had some slim chance..then it imploded.
Ano Hito 11-08-2004 09:03 PM
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When I was younger I used to cut my arms up like a pathetic little emo kid, but I never showed anyone because I was too ashamed. Unfortunately, nobody ever felt sorry for me because they didn't know. Oh. woe is I, the jaded emo!


and

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I've only had communion twice.


and

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I stole cookies!!!
darktacy 11-09-2004 10:32 AM
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i hate everything!


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the stupid school upped the security of our internet, and now i can't get to some of the things i was able to get to less than 4 hours ago...
Seraphim 11-09-2004 10:59 AM
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Originally posted by darktacy
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the stupid school upped the security of our internet, and now i can't get to some of the things i was able to get to less than 4 hours ago...


That happens to me here sometimes. I'm on PCF from school right now, and sometimes it blocks out the site and sometimes it doesn't. Also, other sites like Maddox (but not some pages within his site) seem to be blocked. Frown Anyway, just keep trying, and I'm sure you might be able to get in at some point.
BethMcBeth 11-09-2004 11:11 AM
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i feeel liek i am losing myself again iam trying not to...yeahh wrieds stuff whattever buti no like it..i donttt...iammmtryinggn to stay witht it butu i feell iamm notttt
BrimstoneSeraphim 11-09-2004 05:30 PM
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originally by darkTacy
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the stupid school upped the security of our internet, and now i can't get to some of the things i was able to get to less than 4 hours ago...


dun worry.....heh i guess ill have to be on here for a while...its not armored core online..but hey..ill manage ^_^.....heh. i should put my confessions up here....i do get pissed a lot.
BabyGhia 11-10-2004 05:04 PM
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I officially stopped talking to one of my friends today... and he doesn't even seem to care. Guess that is a big clue that he really isn't a friend.
BrimstoneSeraphim 11-10-2004 05:14 PM
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I have constant dreams of having to face every person who hates me in a rainy dark alley...telling a girl i love to get away from me as they beat me into a bloody pulp....i didnt tell her to get away cuz of them.....theyre not out to hurt her......i told her because i lose control and become something that is a horrible evil in me.....something that dwells within me.....and i end up killing everyone.....and then i watch as the one within me lifts her by the neck to choke her.....and as a last breath from within....i ask her to kill me.....
BabyGhia 11-10-2004 09:21 PM
For some odd reason I feel the need to explain myself...
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I love this friend very much.

Well, I try to tell my friend that he is mistreating one of our friends and I do it in a way that isn't harsh. However, he knew something was up so he asked where I was going and I told him straight out. And what does he do, he tells me that I'm attacking him and that he will not defend his actions. Also, that I'm being hostile. So in trying to get him to notice that he's been a bad friend, I get a guilt trip about him being busy with other things and told that I'm the bad friend for bringing it to his attention. That he isn't purposely mistreating his friends but he's got other things to do that are more important. This isn't the first time I've heard some of this... the new thing is that he is now saying it to me.

So is it okay for him to treat three of his friends like crap when all they are trying to do is help him through a tough time? When we are trying to help his girlfriend through a tough time also?

But instead, all three of us have been labeled hostile because he doesn't want to see what we are trying to bring to his attention.

How can he say that he is being a good friend when he doesn't even try to figure out why I'm mad? Actually, I'm not mad... I'm sad. This whole thing has made me cry. I cried last night. I cried earlier today. I'm trying not to cry now. I miss the friend he use to be. You'd think that three friends all seeing the same behavior would be a clue.

So I'm taking a break. I no longer feel like beating a dead horse. I'm tired of talking to a brick wall. Yet, I find all of this ironic... it's not like we have been talking anyway... it's not like he has been there for me when I have needed him... So what have I lost?
Prons 11-11-2004 06:37 AM
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I'm afraid of going down my hall way at night, so when ever I do, I run.
darktacy 11-11-2004 08:31 AM
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Originally posted by Prons
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I'm afraid of going down my hall way at night, so when ever I do, I run.


i run down my hallway too... i hate dark places, and that's just another one of em. dark small places scare me to death.

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i have multiple personalities... and one of them is ALWAYS tying to hurt the people i love.
MTN889 11-11-2004 09:31 AM
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Originally posted by darktacy
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i have multiple personalities... and one of them is ALWAYS tying to hurt the people i love.


EVERYONE has multiple personalities.
BethMcBeth 11-11-2004 10:15 AM
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ii hatete myself i hatet thee worldd i hatee everyoeene.. and deveryhting..everry thingg.iamm soso saddd..themen ittt alwyas comes bbackck theye neverr leave mee alonee meemmoriess andd thigsss..from the pasttt..ii want outt...ii wantt to be frreeee..everytitme iii try ii faill...ii hatet mysdelff ii hate myself!! iamamm soo lonelyly andnd scarededd iii dontnt like thiss...ii hatee verrythigngg...everrythign111 i cantt findd gooodd inn nayhting iii dooo!!! ii tryy tooo workk outt witht myselfss..ii cantt understnadss...weverythigng and everyonee withini iss soo sadd angryy or scarreddd ii cantt do thsis anyymroeee!!! I canttt!!!1 iamam sooo stuckck inn thee middelee itss harddd iii knoww nott whahtt too doo,...everyonene saysys somethigng differentt....eveeryonee wanttss mee too goo theirrr wayyy...iii hass opptionss butut ii knowow nott wheerree too goooo!!!
ii try yoto keeepppp seff busyy i tryyy...ssooo noo thinkkk thigns si thinkk...but ii canttt stopppp theme...iii tryy ingoree with schoollworkss...nott workss...ii cantt eveennn forgett whenen ii ridee!! Or drawwwwww!!!!! everyhingg all bluuryyyy ii keeppp loosisng thhigngsss andnd evryyonee....whollelele worldlldl turnss uppsides downssss!! Alll thee tiemss! I cantt stopss itt!!
iii knoww its gogingng to bee okkkk buuttt howoowww longng!!!? HOWOW WW LONNNGGGG???!?!
ii waittt andn i waitttt...butt timeee goess onn andnd nothigng happendsss...notinhinggg.....
nothingg gooddd..
iii tryy totot laksss orr typeee itit outut butut i canttt...ii cantt doo eitherr!! itt hurts andd sooo sadddd.. iiahve efriends ii do!! I DOO!!! adnd I lvoee themem and dtrustt thememm soo muchh butt I can''tt hurtt theemmm! I donttnt wantttt tooooo!! I neverrr forgivee sleff iff i i do thatttt!!! I cantt do thattt!1 Everythingg gones soutt theh winnndoww iiiamm soo saddddd iii cryy anndd cryyyyy itit noo helpsssss...
everyhting gbuilfd ssupp andd uppppp iii tryy toto keepss up butt i cantts sii fallb ehinds thene thigs gettss lostss ii tryy too talkss ii doo! I canntt thogughghgh iii cantttt

iamma sorrryyy iiammmm sorrrrryy sooo sorrryyyyyy
ii keepp tryying thoughhhh...iii keeeppp tryyyyy
Tony Waynewrong 11-11-2004 02:14 PM
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Though angry and tired, I will never give up. My girlfriend means the world to me. I love her dearly and madly. Nothing, and I mean nothing will get in the way of that. I know she cares for me as much as I care for her. This hasn't change, nor will it ever. Thanks to her, I am truly free. I hope I can repay her with the same gift.


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My good friends have accepted my situation. In fact, they have helped me and I love them dearly. However, the others haven't. I don't hate or devalue them. I still love them. I just can't attend to their needs at this moment. I have priorities and I will attend to them.
BrimstoneSeraphim 11-12-2004 02:52 AM
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I absolutely cant STAND the human race and the cruelty it does to one another. I want to get away from it all and just not care about anything. However...i'm afraid of being alone and to live the rest of my life without anyone there...if i do january 25th 2015 i will not be around anymore....physically and mentally....i will not go thru life without having one person love me........and yes it is a reason...i'm tired and scared of lonliness.
Fujiko 11-12-2004 03:58 AM
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Originally posted by BrimstoneSeraphim
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I absolutely cant STAND the human race and the cruelty it does to one another. I want to get away from it all and just not care about anything. However...i'm afraid of being alone and to live the rest of my life without anyone there...if i do january 25th 2015 i will not be around anymore....physically and mentally....i will not go thru life without having one person love me........and yes it is a reason...i'm tired and scared of lonliness.


Well you have plenty of time. I'm sure you'll find someone by then.

Oh, almost forgot to add a confession:
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I spend lots of nights without dreaming. When I do dream, they turn out to be really strange, but I have that disadvantage to forget them sometimes.
ebie 11-12-2004 01:28 PM
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The person I'm dating is starting to annoy me alot.


I feel like a rapesits becuz he is younger then me!


I'm moving soon.


I love korn the band!
Kittie heavenly6 11-12-2004 10:10 PM
Just a reminder, this isn't the "I hate my life and every person that lives" thread. This is the confessions thread. Complaining that "Life sucks" and Confessing a secret, are two different things.

This keeps up, I'm closing the thread.
Xel 11-13-2004 02:55 PM
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Originally posted by Grunger Kittie Version 1
Just a reminder, this isn't the "I hate my life and every person that lives" thread. This is the confessions thread. Complaining that "Life sucks" and Confessing a secret, are two different things.

This keeps up, I'm closing the thread.


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I sincerely feel like kissing GK for what he just said. Don't hurt me, Token~!
¡SpoonySthingyy! 11-13-2004 09:08 PM
Awhile back I said....

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Well you already know where I stand on it, I do believe superficial selfish bitch is the term...

Anyway, you know im here as well...


about xana, hell if I know why I said it...

I do this often though..

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get randomly hateful at people for no reason, she's never done anything, I DONT hate her, but...sheesh, why did I say that?