The Paradigm Confessional Thread

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Originally posted by COHugh spoiler (highlight to read): Don't let your chance slip away as I did mine.

You didn't let it slip up just yet!!! Find her!!!!!! Today!!!!!!!!

you people give up way too easily, i know im not in ur position, but u can just have no confidence all the time...come on ppl its not that hard, all u have to do is try


sorry for how gay that sounded...lol

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Originally posted by AndroidZeroX you people give up way too easily, i know im not in ur position, but u can just have no confidence all the time...come on ppl its not that hard, all u have to do is try

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And then you wonder why people get mad at you? You're about as subtle as a brick through a plate-glass window. Although, you are correct that a lack of self-confidence was a key reason why I did not trust her. However, if I did not trust her enough then, I must ask myself how far would a relationship, which is fundamentally founded on trust, have gone? Probably not very far. My problems now do not stem from my inability to speak up as much as my inability to find someone I'm attracted to in more than a physical way who is single. As my last comment mentioned, there are tons of good girls out there but most are taken.

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Originally posted by COHugh spoiler (highlight to read): Dude, from the way things sounded like they were going, I think she's dead and I feel it's partially my fault. I thought I conveyed that through the post... I guess I didn't do a very good job. Besides, don't you think I've tried? I can't find her on my own and I don't have the cash to pay someone else to find her. In addition, what would I say to her if I ever did locate her? "I was a spineless wienny back then and I loved you too, sorry for ruining your life"? That's a real turn-on.

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Theres nothing you can really do about it now,and some things were just meant too be, and some things were meant to not be. it is not like you blew your chance with the only girl on the world. All you can really do is just assume that she found some one that treated her like she should be treated.

As for my confessional.

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I honestly regret my entire life, there are already so many things in my past I wish I had done differently, and I know if I did those things I could have turned out as a better personn and I could be happier, of course its too late now. But I guess thats how life works, we do things and years later we wish we did them differently.

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Originally posted by Prons spoiler (highlight to read): I honestly regret my entire life, there are already so many things in my past I wish I had done differently, and I know if I did those things I could have turned out as a better personn and I could be happier, of course its too late now. But I guess thats how life works, we do things and years later we wish we did them differently.

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Me too. There are LOTS and LOTS of things that I regret. But dwelling on them won't change the choices I made.

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Yes, regretting the past is something that I'm sure most people have done. I have also that that in the past. However, there is still the future to look forward, and it's never too late to become a better person.

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spoiler (highlight to read): As my last comment mentioned, there are tons of good girls out there but most are taken.

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I guess the question still exists to most people, "Why do most girls always date the bad boys? Though, this is not always true, so don't lose hope just yet.

Oh, and no confession today. Sorry.

Later,
Trisa

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Originally posted by Trisa spoiler (highlight to read): I guess the question still exists to most people, "Why do most girls always date the bad boys? Though, this is not always true, so don't lose hope just yet.

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I agree. There are so many girls out there. like...a little more than 3 billion in this world. And you guys have liked, what, 5, 10, 20 girls? A truly small percentage. And every girl is different. So don't give up yet! A girl may really like you for who you are now. And i say this from experience. I've liked lots of guys who thought the way you did, and they turned out to be really cool. So don't lose hope!

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Man, i sound really cheesy don't i?

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Maybe that should be my confession...

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Originally posted by MTN889 spoiler (highlight to read): Confession for today: I eat like a pig, and I know for sure that I'll never get a date. I eat fast and stuff my mouth, in all my life this has been a bad habit.

Habits can be changed. What you need to do is to find a new set of habits that you like better than the current ones, so then you'll have the reinforcement you need to make the change.

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For example, if you eat fast because you eat alone and there's nothing to do but stuff food in your mouth, try 1. eating with other people and talking about subjects of interest 2. taking smaller bites and chewing them thoroughly before swallowing 3. be sure to drink a glass of water with each meal, in addition to whatever beverage you presently drink. The first gives your mind some distraction, the second gives your body time to appreciate the flavor and texture of the food, and the third will fill your stomach on less food.

If you are concerned about proper dinner ettiquette, you can find guidelines on the Web, or take a look at Miss Manners's book on the subject.

Pygmalion

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Originally posted by Trisa spoiler (highlight to read): I guess the question still exists to most people, "Why do most girls always date the bad boys? Though, this is not always true, so don't lose hope just yet.

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This isn't entirely true. I prefer NICE boys, not necessarily bad ones. Most girls who have dated a "bad boy" realize how badly they treat them and get their fill REAL quick (I learned this from personal experience...never EVER again will I date someone who doesn't treat me with respect). Besides, "I need a hero! I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night! He's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast and gotta be fresh from the fight!" Ha ha...sorry random Bonnie Tyler lyrics floating around in my head.

And about past regrets:

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I'm the queen of dwelling on events of the past that I wish I could go back and change, but you simply can't do that. You have to realize how it's changed you and made you grow as a person. While I know it's difficult to walk away from situations with a positive spin, it's always better to find out what you can learn from a situation and how it can shape you to be a better person. And perhaps, your wisdom on the subject can help someone else who may be in the same predicament as you. I know I've been able to that a couple of times.

Latah
Token

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Originally posted by Token Girl And about past regrets: spoiler (highlight to read): I'm the queen of dwelling on events of the past that I wish I could go back and change, but you simply can't do that. You have to realize how it's changed you and made you grow as a person. While I know it's difficult to walk away from situations with a positive spin, it's always better to find out what you can learn from a situation and how it can shape you to be a better person. And perhaps, your wisdom on the subject can help someone else who may be in the same predicament as you. I know I've been able to that a couple of times. Latah Token

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I have a bad habit of not letting go of past regrets. I started to let go of one past one recently... something I dwelled on for years. I did use it as a source of wisdom for someone who had gone through something similar. But this recent one, I can't yet. It's certainly not something that I could have changed. A thought was put in my head by someone and I really wanted it to come true. It was something that I had already told myself that probably wasn't going to happen. Yet that person put the thought in my head. Within a week, that thought wasn't a possiblity anymore. It was gone as quickly as it had come. My hope was up. Hope that wasn't there before. So it hurt. It was like a ton of bricks hit me. I've been dealing the best way that I can but sometimes I can't help but dwell on it. It actually didn't happen too long ago either.

New one...

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I've been in a funk and been ignoring some of the things that are most important to me. My diet has been ignored. My exercising has been ignored. Getting more income has been ignored. But I'm taking it day by day. I need to remind myself that I'm doing these things for me and no one else.

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Procrastinating is not a good thing. Absolutely not a good thing.

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I am extremely religious. I always consult with the Lord before making major decisions.

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I have been under a lot of stress lately (due to work and others). I have been somewhat inconsiderate towards others because of it.

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I am nervous about Thanksgiving. I am never excited about the holidays, but I have reason to be. My girlfriend is joining me and my family, so I euphoric and nervous about it.

I have a really stupid one:

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I skipped math today just so I could sleep

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Originally posted by Lt. Smith spoiler (highlight to read): I know there's been a lot of talk in this thread of missed oppurtunities, regrets of the past, and lack of confidence in one's self. And it got me thinking. And I came to the conclusion that I will probably fall in love instantly with the first girl who actually tells me that they love me. This is why it baffles me when COHugh didn't even say or do anything when that girl told him those same words. I mean come on man, if you liked her why didn't you say something? Ack, I am probably just making you feel even more regretful....Um, I guess we just need to learn from our mistakes eh?

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Heh, just thought I'd comment on something regarding this bit that you've said . Two former girlfriends that I have had in the past both did that very same thing - and they both ended in disaster, because I just wasn't interested. The irony with me is: I have a good esteem and the like, but I'm just not interested in finding a relationship with anyone at this point. I have enough on my plate to consider, and my focus is on getting my life and my "stuff", so to speak, in order before I let room for anyone else's. I figure: if something happens with someone, then I'll let it happen, and move from there, but I'm not big on "finding the one for you" at any young age. Thought patterns and desires change in the transition from teen to young adult, and then to slightly older young adult. I'd rather get my affairs in order, and stand stright as a person with absolute confidence in my desires first - or, at least as close to "absolute" as you can get at the time. After all, I'm all for making hay while the sun shines, but matters of the heart can take time, and that's all I've got - I'm only 20 . But of course, everyone is different, and take how they feel on their own, and in their own way. It's a matter of what works for you.

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While being incredibly spiritual, I'm not religious in the least--I'm an atheist and have been for about six years now. (My mom, a diehard Catholic, still can't get over or accept the fact, which always tends to create problems during Christmas especially, when she asks why I don't want to go to mass--but I'm not complaining, mind you, just stating )

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Lo and behold, this is my first post in this thread!