The Paradigm Confessional Thread

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Originally posted by COHugh Along the same vein: spoiler (highlight to read): I'm installing Mandrake Linux on my desktop computer. I'm so ignorant of the O.S., though, that I'm worried about screwing it up.

Don't sweat it, Mandrake is good for people who don't know 100% about the OS. It also has some pretty good documentation if you run into trouble.

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Originally posted by Seraphim quote: Originally posted by COHugh Along the same vein: spoiler (highlight to read): I'm installing Mandrake Linux on my desktop computer. I'm so ignorant of the O.S., though, that I'm worried about screwing it up. Don't sweat it, Mandrake is good for people who don't know 100% about the OS. It also has some pretty good documentation if you run into trouble.

Indeed. I installed it a couple of weeks ago, and I didn't screw things up. And, I knew NOTHING of Linux when I did it.

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I only get angry with people when they are mean/offensive/etc. to people I know. I don't care if you insult me, but when you insult my friends, I get angry.

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Originally posted by Patsai spoiler (highlight to read): On Friday, August 17th, after a football game, a friend of mine offered me a puff of a cigarrette. Being sixteen, I knew the consequences for smoking and what it could do to your body very well, but I took it, inhaled in, and coughed out my first smoke. I felt guilty for myself since then since I had complete control of my action and chose the wrong one in order to keep my friends.

Meh...everyone will do it one time or another.

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I'm depressed. Why? Because I feel used by those around me. I have a friend here with problems greater than anyone I know that I can (sort of) relate to. Half the time I'm with her , I feel alive, happy and complete. We have so much fun together (a variety of things). However, the other half of the time, she acts like she doesn't want me around that much.

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Originally posted by COHugh spoiler (highlight to read): Loneliness can cause you many problems in life, I know... It leads you to make decisions that would otherwise seem irrational.

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I was never lonely, I chose to be a loner (I never learned to make friends), but I had many friends who went to me for friendship, and I chose to hang out with the wrong group that night. I really do appreciate the support, and I'm glad that you understand the situation I'm in. You too Ignignokt. I just feel like I failed myself as well as my parents for my actions, and I haven't slept or eaten all weekend becuase of it.

NP Patsai... Although

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I don't necessarily buy most "loner" excuses. I used to classify myself in that group, but I realized that I craved socializing as much as the next human being. I think everyone does at some level, they just aren't willing to admit it.

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Originally posted by Ignignokt spoiler (highlight to read): I'm depressed. Why? Because I feel used by those around me. I have a friend here with problems greater than anyone I know that I can (sort of) relate to. Half the time I'm with her , I feel alive, happy and complete. We have so much fun together (a variety of things). However, the other half of the time, she acts like she doesn't want me around that much.

Oy...

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I definitely do not understand women at all!!! Most of my frustration in life comes from trying to understand what girls my age want exactly. I'm told by some at work that female customers occasionally flirt with me, but it's not blatantly obvious to me, so I discount their theories as them just being annoying. Any time I come close to having a "relationship" with a girl, something just happens and it all falls apart. My confession, I suppose, is that I haven't dated in 4 years because of this inability to understand. I'm told that if I weren't so blunt with my expectations and feelings, girls would like me more. I hate playing games when it comes to these things, which is what girls want apparently. I suppose I'll just have to cry in my beer, eh?

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Originally posted by COHugh NP Patsai... Although spoiler (highlight to read): I don't necessarily buy most "loner" excuses. I used to classify myself in that group, but I realized that I craved socializing as much as the next human being. I think everyone does at some level, they just aren't willing to admit it.

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Alright, if you want the truth, then I'm a loner because I live in a small rural town in Wisconsin full of racist and I just happen to be Asian. It's bad enough that these farmer boys haven't been exposed enough to different cultures, so when they see something that they're not used to, they find themselves superior to it. I chose to watch my back. Yes, I do admit I'm social, but in this town...no.

Ah, that does suck! Hmmm... I've got nothing to help with that... All I can say is that you'll eventually graduate and will be able to move far far away for good.

Again, not very reassuring, is it?

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I've been very depressed lately. There is a girl I know only through the internet, who I have known for over a year. We are basically on the verge of going out but now she hasn't been online at all for nearly two weeks and I don't know if I will ever talk to her again.

Yeah, I'm a pessimist...

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Originally posted by GAT-X105 spoiler (highlight to read): I've been very depressed lately. There is a girl I know only through the internet, who I have known for over a year. We are basically on the verge of going out but now she hasn't been online at all for nearly two weeks and I don't know if I will ever talk to her again. Yeah, I'm a pessimist...

Its HYSTERICAL. Since I'm in a similar quandry.

..It's...you've got more reason to be optimistic than I do. The situations similar in setting only, and even then not much

Confession:

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I have highly sensitive teeth...no, thats it. Really,thats all.

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Originally posted by COHugh spoiler (highlight to read): Loneliness can cause you many problems in life, I know... It leads you to make decisions that would otherwise seem irrational.

I can totally relate to that statement...

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Eight or nine years ago, I started a relationship with a guy who had a massive crush on me. I had absolutely no interest in him. I was very lonely at the time and I liked that he had these feeling for me so I let it continue. That wasn't a great time of my life. I knew deep down that I wasn't happy and that I never would be. Loneliness can make you do things that you would never do or ever think of doing. The relationship ended but it messed me up for a long time. In a lot of ways, I never really dealt with it until this year. I always denied that it happened. But it was always there in the back of my head.

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This year has really been an interesting for me. A lot of things have become clearer in my life. I really have to thank my friends for that. They have been wonderful to me and I really cherish all of them. Things may be difficult to deal with sometimes but they do need to be dealt with. To be understood. That's how this year has been for me.

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Because of that, I've found that it's easier to let people into my life than it use to be. I'm still cautious but I'm more open to it.

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Originally posted by BabyGhia spoiler (highlight to read): This year has really been an interesting for me. A lot of things have become clearer in my life. I really have to thank my friends for that. They have been wonderful to me and I really cherish all of them. Things may be difficult to deal with sometimes but they do need to be dealt with. To be understood. That's how this year has been for me. spoiler (highlight to read): Because of that, I've found that it's easier to let people into my life than it use to be. I'm still cautious but I'm more open to it.

I totally understand. For the most part, I feel the same way.

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Dispite all the intense lows and disasters, this year has been the best year of my life. I finally found people I can be my true self with. I found out the true definition of Love, Friendship and Happiness because of everything about this year.

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I wore boots to long. I cant walk flat footed, but on the plus, I can run in heels with MAD SKILL, man.

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Jessica told me today that I talk like Jigen...I shrugged and said okay cluelessly. I don't, do I?

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Originally posted by M.S._Feather spoiler (highlight to read): My father’s dying. I got the news last Wednesday. I’ve been trying my hardest not to dwell on it, but these past few days I’ve become extremely depressed. I can't sleep. I’ve been trying to build up the nerve to go see him, but I can’t seem to bring myself to do it. I don’t want to say goodbye. I know everyone dies eventually and I shouldn’t let it eat at me as much as it has. But I love him. And I can’t help but think how wretched this world is going to be without him.

** hugs **

I am so sorry to hear that, dudette. I pray that he will be the odds.

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Although at face value I might seem to be a nice person, I'm really not. I will act nice to your face then talk behind your back. This usually happens to people who don't really deserve it either. They are blissfully unaware of how I am really feeling.

and in a related but not really way....

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I tend to not take care of my own issues. I let other peoples issues interefere with mine. They're stuff gets intangled in mine and I can't free myself. The only way I have managed to do it is to be nasty to them..which is unfair and not very productive.

Madrona