| Volt | 06-07-2004 01:24 PM |
I noticed this forum is missing a place to recommend, anti-recommend, priase, and anti-praise video games. So, here we have The Video Game Reviews Thread. If you've never seen the format of a video game review befoire, most look something like this:
Game Name
Platform
ESRB rating if you want
Gameplay: (Rating from 1-10, 1 being the worst, 10 being the best)
A description of the gameplay, and what makes it good or bad.
Story: (Rating from 1-10, 1 being the worst, 10 being the best)
A description of the story, and what makes it good or bad.
Graphics: (Rating from 1-10, 1 being the worst, 10 being the best)
A description of the graphics, and what makes them good or bad.
Voice Overs: (Rating from 1-10, 1 being the worst, 10 being the best)
A description of the voice overs, and what makes them good or bad (if applicable).
Music: (Rating from 1-10, 1 being the worst, 10 being the best)
A description of the music, and what makes it good or bad.
Difficulty: (Rating from 1-10, 1 being very easy, 10 being near impossible)
A description of the difficulty of the game, why it's easy or hard, and if it's always that way or if the difficulty changes frequently.
Overall: (Rating from 1-10, 1 being the worst, 10 being the best)
Wrap up your review by giving a final verdict on how good the game is. Some people also say "Buy", "Rent", or "Don't Buy", depending on how good it is.
Now, this is just how some people would do it. You can do yours anyway you want, but keep this general format in mind. Don't write something like this:
I GOT NINJA GADEN 2DAY ITS KEWL BUT I MEAN ITS ALL HARD I MEANT WTF BUT THERES THESE WEAPONS AND THE GRAPHICS ARE KEWL BUT I MEAN I LIKE KILLED MY CAT BCUZ I WAS SO MAD AT THE GAME.
Now that we have what to do, and, uh, what not to do covered. I'll post the first review.
-------------------------------------
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
PlayStation 2, XBox
Rated M
Gameplay: 9.5/10
Grand Theft Auto is probably the most well known game of all time for its car-jacking, shooting, and crime comitting gameplay. The basis of Vice City (as well as the other GTA games) is, as the name implies, car theft. Any car you see is yours for the taking---but don't forget the boats, helicopters, seaplanes, and tanks. Vice City is a huge place; it's not as big as a real city, say its relistic counterpart Miami, but it's about as big as the disc can hold. The size of the city gives you freedom to do whatever you want, however you want, and whenever you want. Say you're doing a mission where you have to storm up the stairs of a building with 40 guys sniping at you, just so you can retrieve a briefcase at the top; you're not limited to just that. Insead, why not take a helicopter, fly it onto the nearest building, take out a rocket launcher and blow the snipers into dust, then fly to the next building and take the suitcase? And, when not in a mission, you're free do to alot--- chop up civilians with a helicopter blade? Got it. Fight the army head to head with a tank? Got it. Flee from pursuing police in a speedboat? Got it. Get in a fight with an 80 year old golfer who will continually beat you with his gold club? Yes indeed. There is also a gigantic selection of weaponry in Vice City to suit your needs. Unlike GTA3, there is variation among every single type of gun; say that pistol isn't very good--go out and buy a one-hit-kill revolver. Maybe that Uzi takes too long to get the job done? There's always the more efiicient MP5K. Is that rocket launher too slow? How about a 30,000 shot gatling gun? The freedom to do anything and the means to do it with is the aspect that made Vice City one of my favorite games---and I'm sure 40 million others agree with me.
Story: 7/10
There isn't much to the storyline in Vice City. It goes somethign like this, though: Tommy Vercetti is a mobster who works for Sonny Forelli. After being caught killing 11 people for Forelli, he was thrown into prison for 15 years. Now that he's out, Forelli begins to worry about Tommy and if he'll screw up again and bring down the entire Forelli crime family, so he sends Tommy down to Vice City to establish Forelli control there. Upon arriving in Vice City, Tommy is supposed to make a drug deal, but everything goes wrong. Everyone but Tommy and his lawyer, Ken Rosenberg, is killed by low-life Cubans, who proceed to steal the money and drugs. Tommy manages to flee, then begins trying to get the drugs and money back, and eventually meets Ricardo Diaz, who he knows stole the merchandise.
The reason I only consider the plot okay is because there isn't much going on besides greed. There weren't enough twists for my liking, i.e.
Graphics: 4/10
Hoo boy. This is the one major downfall of Vice City. The vehicle models are good, and some shine in the sun and have realistic reflecions, but the character modesl are BAD. The worst part of them is the lack of fingers; instead of 5 fingers, the models have a thumb and a block with 3 lines running rhough it. While this makes Tommy trying to flip someone off entertaining, it just looks bad. The faces are also pretty bad. They look close to nothing like the 2-D artwork, and have perpetually unblinking eyes. But, when you're having fun killing random people and cruising in the Vice City equivalent of a Firebird, it's hard to focus on these things.
Voice Overs: 9/10
The voice overs were really great. Each voice goes with the character remarkably well, from Sonny's crime-boss voice to Diaz' Cuban scum (not being racist... just saying he's scum... and is from Cuba) voice. I can't say much else, really.
Music: 8/10
The music is awesome! Instead of a song composed especially for the game like most games, you'll hear Michael Jackson, Flock of Seagulls, and Run DMC. While there's nothing cooler than facing off against police forces helicopter to helicopter while Billie Jean plays, nothing is more lame than crusing in a station wagon while you hear "Hear in my car, blah blah blah blah, bee blah blah, in cars." Along with the 80's classics comes the other 80's classics----the ones that are classic because they suck. But otherwise, the soundtrack and fake DJ's are extremely entertaining.
Difficulty: 7-9
The difficulty really varies alot. At the beginning, missions are a breeze, but then suddenly you're doing the mission Death Row for the 50th time. Usually the missions are very hard, but usually there is also an alternate way to completing them, so you won't pop a blood vessel. However, if you're known to punch your wall because you can't beat Ridley in Metroid Fusion, be prepared for frustration.
Overall: 9
I can't recommend this game enough. When you're really angry and want to rip that football jock's head off, go play some Vice City and rip a random beach goer's head off and I guarantee you'll fell a little bit better. Or maybe you just a challenging, yet rewarding game to play---you've found it.
I recommend everyone goes out and buys it. NOW! Or when you're 17.
Game Name
Platform
ESRB rating if you want
Gameplay: (Rating from 1-10, 1 being the worst, 10 being the best)
A description of the gameplay, and what makes it good or bad.
Story: (Rating from 1-10, 1 being the worst, 10 being the best)
A description of the story, and what makes it good or bad.
Graphics: (Rating from 1-10, 1 being the worst, 10 being the best)
A description of the graphics, and what makes them good or bad.
Voice Overs: (Rating from 1-10, 1 being the worst, 10 being the best)
A description of the voice overs, and what makes them good or bad (if applicable).
Music: (Rating from 1-10, 1 being the worst, 10 being the best)
A description of the music, and what makes it good or bad.
Difficulty: (Rating from 1-10, 1 being very easy, 10 being near impossible)
A description of the difficulty of the game, why it's easy or hard, and if it's always that way or if the difficulty changes frequently.
Overall: (Rating from 1-10, 1 being the worst, 10 being the best)
Wrap up your review by giving a final verdict on how good the game is. Some people also say "Buy", "Rent", or "Don't Buy", depending on how good it is.
Now, this is just how some people would do it. You can do yours anyway you want, but keep this general format in mind. Don't write something like this:
I GOT NINJA GADEN 2DAY ITS KEWL BUT I MEAN ITS ALL HARD I MEANT WTF BUT THERES THESE WEAPONS AND THE GRAPHICS ARE KEWL BUT I MEAN I LIKE KILLED MY CAT BCUZ I WAS SO MAD AT THE GAME.
Now that we have what to do, and, uh, what not to do covered. I'll post the first review.
-------------------------------------
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
PlayStation 2, XBox
Rated M
Gameplay: 9.5/10
Grand Theft Auto is probably the most well known game of all time for its car-jacking, shooting, and crime comitting gameplay. The basis of Vice City (as well as the other GTA games) is, as the name implies, car theft. Any car you see is yours for the taking---but don't forget the boats, helicopters, seaplanes, and tanks. Vice City is a huge place; it's not as big as a real city, say its relistic counterpart Miami, but it's about as big as the disc can hold. The size of the city gives you freedom to do whatever you want, however you want, and whenever you want. Say you're doing a mission where you have to storm up the stairs of a building with 40 guys sniping at you, just so you can retrieve a briefcase at the top; you're not limited to just that. Insead, why not take a helicopter, fly it onto the nearest building, take out a rocket launcher and blow the snipers into dust, then fly to the next building and take the suitcase? And, when not in a mission, you're free do to alot--- chop up civilians with a helicopter blade? Got it. Fight the army head to head with a tank? Got it. Flee from pursuing police in a speedboat? Got it. Get in a fight with an 80 year old golfer who will continually beat you with his gold club? Yes indeed. There is also a gigantic selection of weaponry in Vice City to suit your needs. Unlike GTA3, there is variation among every single type of gun; say that pistol isn't very good--go out and buy a one-hit-kill revolver. Maybe that Uzi takes too long to get the job done? There's always the more efiicient MP5K. Is that rocket launher too slow? How about a 30,000 shot gatling gun? The freedom to do anything and the means to do it with is the aspect that made Vice City one of my favorite games---and I'm sure 40 million others agree with me.
Story: 7/10
There isn't much to the storyline in Vice City. It goes somethign like this, though: Tommy Vercetti is a mobster who works for Sonny Forelli. After being caught killing 11 people for Forelli, he was thrown into prison for 15 years. Now that he's out, Forelli begins to worry about Tommy and if he'll screw up again and bring down the entire Forelli crime family, so he sends Tommy down to Vice City to establish Forelli control there. Upon arriving in Vice City, Tommy is supposed to make a drug deal, but everything goes wrong. Everyone but Tommy and his lawyer, Ken Rosenberg, is killed by low-life Cubans, who proceed to steal the money and drugs. Tommy manages to flee, then begins trying to get the drugs and money back, and eventually meets Ricardo Diaz, who he knows stole the merchandise.
| spoiler (highlight to read): |
| When Diaz tries to kill Tommy's accomplice Lance, the two go in and kill Diaz and take over his mansion. Tommy begins establishing control of Vice City, buying businesses, and eventually a print works where counterfeit cash is made. Before he knows it, Forelli pays a visit to Vice City to collect the money. With 30 mil in fake cash in a briefcase, Tommy goes to meet Sonny. But again, the plan goes wrong. Lance ratted and told Forelli the cash was fake. "Did you think I'd just save face, and run away with my tail between my legs?!" Forelli asks Tommy. "No. I just wanted to piss you off before I kill you." Tommy chases Lance and eventually kills him on the rooftop of the mansion. Returning to his safe where the real cahs is stored, Tommy comes under heavy fire by Forelli and his men. Tommy kills him, and ultimately owns all of Vice City. |
| spoiler (highlight to read): |
| Lance's betrayal. |
Graphics: 4/10
Hoo boy. This is the one major downfall of Vice City. The vehicle models are good, and some shine in the sun and have realistic reflecions, but the character modesl are BAD. The worst part of them is the lack of fingers; instead of 5 fingers, the models have a thumb and a block with 3 lines running rhough it. While this makes Tommy trying to flip someone off entertaining, it just looks bad. The faces are also pretty bad. They look close to nothing like the 2-D artwork, and have perpetually unblinking eyes. But, when you're having fun killing random people and cruising in the Vice City equivalent of a Firebird, it's hard to focus on these things.
Voice Overs: 9/10
The voice overs were really great. Each voice goes with the character remarkably well, from Sonny's crime-boss voice to Diaz' Cuban scum (not being racist... just saying he's scum... and is from Cuba) voice. I can't say much else, really.
Music: 8/10
The music is awesome! Instead of a song composed especially for the game like most games, you'll hear Michael Jackson, Flock of Seagulls, and Run DMC. While there's nothing cooler than facing off against police forces helicopter to helicopter while Billie Jean plays, nothing is more lame than crusing in a station wagon while you hear "Hear in my car, blah blah blah blah, bee blah blah, in cars." Along with the 80's classics comes the other 80's classics----the ones that are classic because they suck. But otherwise, the soundtrack and fake DJ's are extremely entertaining.
Difficulty: 7-9
The difficulty really varies alot. At the beginning, missions are a breeze, but then suddenly you're doing the mission Death Row for the 50th time. Usually the missions are very hard, but usually there is also an alternate way to completing them, so you won't pop a blood vessel. However, if you're known to punch your wall because you can't beat Ridley in Metroid Fusion, be prepared for frustration.
Overall: 9
I can't recommend this game enough. When you're really angry and want to rip that football jock's head off, go play some Vice City and rip a random beach goer's head off and I guarantee you'll fell a little bit better. Or maybe you just a challenging, yet rewarding game to play---you've found it.
I recommend everyone goes out and buys it. NOW! Or when you're 17.









. In each of the gamemodes are a great variety of weapons--from cannons that shoot schrapnel grenades to nuclear-missile launchers, you won't be hardput to find one that suits you best. Ut2K4 can be played online (beware, however---noobies will get schooled, fast) or off---however, all modes are pretty much the same. The single player is a duplicate of the multiplayer, but with A.I. controlled bots instead of human opponents. I've found that both are equally fun.
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