[Fan Fiction] Cheap Innuendoes and Jokes (Mature Content may not be suitable for persons under 16 years of age.)

Roger: That’s it. I am tired of these accusations. It’s not my child.
Angel: You are the only man in my life.
Roger: I know you better than you have ever given me credit for.
Angel: No! I always…
Roger: ** Interrupting. ** Faking a pregnancy to get me to marry you. Admit it! That’s what you are trying to do.
Angel: You are wrong! I love you. I would never do that.
Dorothy: It is obvious that she is lying.
Angel: What do you know about love?
Dorothy: I know that he loves me and not you. ** Kisses Roger. **
Roger: That’s right, Cassie. My heart belongs to hers. ** Pointing to Dorothy. **
Angel: No! This can’t be. I won’t allow it.
Dorothy: ** Smirking. ** I believe that you should leave now. You have darkened our door steps long enough.
Angel: Fine! But Harold, answer me this: Did you ever love me?
Roger: It’s Henry!
Norman: Stop… Stop… Stop… Angel, you need to remain focus here. ** Turns to Dorothy. ** You have improved tremendously, Dorothy. You are getting into the spirit of this play.
Dorothy: ** Monotonously. ** Thank you, Norman. I really enjoy throwing Cassie out.
Angel: In your dreams.
Norman: That will be enough of that. The play is in 2 weeks, so let’s do another take of this scene.

Hee, you had me wondering for a minute there. I was thinking, "Uh-oh, he's getting awfully serious here.." I love the "I really enjoy throwing Cassie out."

*In the Big O cockpit*

Roger: Alright dorothy, this is how you do it the RIGHT way.
Dorothy: Oh boy, im shivering in anticipation.
Roger: Calm down, dont get too ahead of yourself! We have to prepare first!
Dorothy: Give me a break, Roger! Dr. Wayneright was a master at this kind of thing! He showed me many times how to do it correctly, and believe me, he does it GOOD! My memory might be a little rusty, but I DO, for the most part, know how to prepare!
Roger: I'm just being cautious, Dorothy! I wouldn't want you to get hurt while we're doing it!
Dorothy: Roger Smith, you are such a louse! I can probably teach you a thing or two! I grab it, jerk it as hard as I can, and then it goes in and out! I think I know how to operatoe Big O's pistons!

Sorry, it was my first...I know its crappy.

Jeff 25, that was not crappy. That was the product of proper planning, skills and a little psychosis.

Keep it up.

Very good, Jeff 25! It made me laugh, which is the whole point

*Rubs hands together gleefuly and smiles at Tvperez*

The corruption grows, my dark lord.

*looks at Zola's post* Uh oh. This can't be good.
*To audience* OK, WHICH ONE OF YOU LUGNUTS FORGOT TO MONITER ZOLA AND TVPEREZ IMing? We keep close watch on them for a REASON people!
*Takes a deep breath* On the plus side it seems that Nomon has become quite the playwright now hasn't he?

*Cassandra breaks in*

Cassandra: NORMAN! You weren't supposed to tell anyone!
Dorothy: Miss Neuwirth??
Norman: I'm sorry, Miss Cassandra, but -
Cassandra: How could you do this to our baby??
Roger: Baby??
Norman: Cassie, you're over-reacting. A woman in your condition is delicate.
Dorothy: Condition??
Cassandra: Delicate my *** - you lying smeghead! It wasn't ready -
Norman: No one's ready for these things, that's why we practice!
Roger (to Dorothy): Are they having the same conversation?
Cassandra: I only have one question.
Norman: Yes?
Cassandra: Why are you using MY name in OUR play???
Roger and Dorothy: PLAY??
Norman: Yes, the play we were rehearsing - what did you think we were talking about?
Angel (taking drag on cigarette): Read the byline, kids.

** High Fives Lady Tesser.**

Thank you, agent LT.

Operation Corrupt PC Members is going as planned.

I won't claim responsibility for this, just found it on another forum. And it's not precisely Big O-related, but I figured it deserved to go here anyway.



A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I am smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

The teacher had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9"

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade." The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree.

Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

Harry: "Legs"

Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" (The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!)

Harry: "Pockets"

Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants"

Teacher: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...)

Harry: "Coconut"

Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

Harry: "Bubblegum"

Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?" (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...)

Harry: "Shake hands"

Teacher: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?"

Harry: "Yup"

Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do."

Harry: "Tent"

Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first." (Principal was looking restless and bit tense)

Harry: "Wedding Ring"

Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good."

Harry: "Nose"

Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."

Harry: "Arrow"

Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?"

Harry: "Fire truck"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put his a__ in the sixth-grade. I got the last ten questions wrong myself.

That was good, Jim Starluck. I liked it.

As for this one, Zola and I were thinking about our lack of suggestive material during the last few days. Enjoy:

---

Dorothy: Push Roger… Push
Roger: Uh… Uh… Uh… I am giving it all I can. Uh… Uh… Uh…
Dorothy: Don't jump up and down like that. You have to push harder, Roger. Harder!
Roger: It's not going in. You're wearing me out!
Dorothy: OK. Maybe you should rest, Mr. Negotiator.
Roger: Why are giving me that look?
Dorothy: What look?
Roger: If I didn’t know any better, I would say that you were angry.
Dorothy: I am not angry.
Roger: Yes, you are actually angry. I am sorry, Dorothy. Let’s try again.
Dorothy: Don’t strain yourself.
Roger: Strain myself? I will go at it all night, if I had to.
Dorothy: And you will fail, just the same.
Roger: Oh yeah? Watch me do it, Roger style.
Dorothy: ** mumbling. ** Weak and sloppy.
Roger: What?
Dorothy: How about this? I’ll take over, so that you’ll see why androids are better at it than humans.
Roger: I’d like to finish what I started.
Dorothy: You are being such a louse, Roger. I am obviously better suited for this task.
Roger: You make it sound so formal. All I am trying to do is shove my clothes into this suitcase.
Dorothy: I hate when you go on your business trips.

quote:

Originally posted by tvperez Roger: You make it sound so formal. All I am trying to do is shove my clothes into this suitcase. Dorothy: I hate when you go on your business trips.

How many black suits does one man need, anyway? Good thing Roger's got an android to do the heavy lifting.

Pygmalion

You'd think Dorothy could just sit on it and it would shut.

Roger: And Action!
Angel: Is that it?
Roger: Huh? What do you mean?
Angel: Well you said it was big but this...
Roger: What! They dont come much bigger than this.
Angel: Schwarzwald's is much bigger plus his can fly.
Roger: Sigh well lets go Big O we dont need this.

Zola wouldn't allow me to post the original, so here is a watered down version.

---

Roger: I shouldn’t be doing this?
Dorothy: Why not?
Roger: I have a lot of work. I don’t have time for this.
Dorothy: Everybody does it at least one time in their life. There is no shame in that. But, if you can’t handle it…
Roger: No, I am not a wimp.
Dorothy: I didn’t say you were. But since you insist on continuing… Push harder.
Roger: It hurts, Dorothy.
Dorothy: Are you pouting? I thought that you were the dominus of Big O.
Roger: I am not pouting. And, don’t bait me like that. You just like to see me sweat.
Dorothy: You caught me, I do you enjoy making you sweat. Satisfied? If so, push harder!
Roger: I am not getting anywhere. I push and push and I don’t get anywhere. Also, my legs and arms are beginning to hurt.
Dorothy: Roger, I don’t feel a thing.
Roger: Why would you? I am the one doing the ramming and all you can do is insult my performance.
Dorothy: Well stop then and call for a tow truck. It is not my fault that you didn’t fill up the Griffon before we left.

quote:

Originally posted by tvperez Zola wouldn't allow me to post the original, so here is a watered down version. --- Roger: I shouldn’t be doing this? Dorothy: Why not? Roger: I have a lot of work. I don’t have time for this. Dorothy: Everybody does it at least one time in their life. There is no shame in that. But, if you can’t handle it… Roger: No, I am not a wimp. Dorothy: I didn’t say you were. But since you insist on continuing… Push harder. Roger: It hurts, Dorothy. Dorothy: Are you pouting? I thought that you were the dominus of Big O. Roger: I am not pouting. And, don’t bait me like that. You just like to see me sweat. Dorothy: You caught me, I do you enjoy making you sweat. Satisfied? If so, push harder! Roger: I am not getting anywhere. I push and push and I don’t get anywhere. Also, my legs and arms are beginning to hurt. Dorothy: Roger, I don’t feel a thing. Roger: Why would you? I am the one doing the ramming and all you can do is insult my performance. Dorothy: Well stop then and call for a tow truck. It is not my fault that you didn’t fill up the Griffon before we left.

Mabye Roger should try putting the trans in neutral and deactivateing the parking brake.

Norman: Master Roger, I don’t think that you will get your balls in there.
Roger: Norman, I have done this before.
Norman: I don’t think Dorothy would appreciate it.
Dorothy: It’s alright, Norman. We know that Roger is a louse. Let him try.
Roger: Shoot, I missed.
Dorothy: Not surprising. Luckily, it’s Norman’s turn. He is more of a gentleman.
Norman: I believe that you are in my way.
Roger: Wait, I want to try again.
Dorothy: That is not fair for Norman or me. You tried and you failed, deal with it.
Roger: No, I believe that I was rushed.
Norman: If that is the way you are going to be, I will forgo my turn.
Dorothy: That is not fair, Norman. You know as well as I do that Roger will retry a hundred times if you allow him.
Norman: It doesn’t matter, young Dorothy. I am fine.
Roger: There, get ready to take this. Ahhhhh…. I missed.
Dorothy: That’s it, Mr. Negotiator. I don’t mind you missing. I don’t mind you asking to take somebody else’s turn. But, I will not let you cheapen the game of pool by you purposely knocking my ball out of position.
Roger: You’re right Dorothy. I’ll re-rack them and start the game again.
Dorothy: I’ll break!

quote:

Originally posted by tvperez Norman: Master Roger, I don’t think that you will get your balls in there. Roger: Norman, I have done this before. Norman: I don’t think Dorothy would appreciate it. Dorothy: It’s alright, Norman. We know that Roger is a louse. Let him try. Roger: Shoot, I missed. Dorothy: Not surprising. Luckily, it’s Norman’s turn. He is more of a gentleman. Norman: I believe that you are in my way. Roger: Wait, I want to try again. Dorothy: That is not fair for Norman or me. You tried and you failed, deal with it. Roger: No, I believe that I was rushed. Norman: If that is the way you are going to be, I will forgo my turn. Dorothy: That is not fair, Norman. You know as well as I do that Roger will retry a hundred times if you allow him. Norman: It doesn’t matter, young Dorothy. I am fine. Roger: There, get ready to take this. Ahhhhh…. I missed. Dorothy: That’s it, Mr. Negotiator. I don’t mind you missing. I don’t mind you asking to take somebody else’s turn. But, I will not let you cheapen the game of pool by you purposely knocking my ball out of position. Roger: You’re right Dorothy. I’ll re-rack them and start the game again. Dorothy: I’ll break!

You're slipping tvperez, I could tell that it was a game of pool after Dorothy's second line. (The gentleman reference confirmed my suspisions.)

Ack!

** Pounding head on the wall. **

My god, I am getting soft.

** Looking heavenward. **

Why have you foresaken me?

Dorothy: Are you feeling good?
Roger: Yes
Dorothy: Are you sure?
Roger: Yes. Usually when you do this, I feel very tense. But, I feel so relaxed.
Dorothy: Well, I changed my technique. Do you really like when I do it this way?
Roger: Oh yes.
Dorothy: I only want to make you happy.
Roger: Well, if you did this everyday…
Dorothy: ** Interrupted. ** Shhh… Roger, don’t say another word. Just enjoy it.
Roger: Geez, this is really good.
Dorothy: Was there any doubt?
Roger: No. Instro’s lessons have really paid off.

It implies that Dorothy is giceing Roger a masasage, yet he fears her crushing him or something. Much better I had to read to the end this time, but the leudness was a bit down from normal.