[Fan Fiction] Cheap Innuendoes and Jokes (Mature Content may not be suitable for persons under 16 years of age.)

Roger is in bathroom

roger:ahh...sweet smell of freshly earned green .
*money drops in toilet*
roger:oh god, i've got ot get this green out of this toilet
* angel hears what he is doing*
angel:*queitly to herself* ewwwwwwwww!!!!!!
roger:let me get it out with my bare hands.
dorothy: what is he doing?
angel: he' trying to get the green out of the toilet.
dorothy: ewwwwwwwwww gross!!!
roger:there i got it out.
*then kisses it & puts it in his poket*
*roger gets out of the toilet,& sees girls staring at him*
roger: uh.....what?

Good one, darkangel. I like it.

BTW
Oh, I don't believe that we have met, I am tvperez: The forum sleeze.

quote:

Originally posted by tvperez Gordon: Where do you want these flats? The donkey is too old to be hauling loads like this!

Combine Vera's whip and the transportation and you've got an ass-o'-nine-tails. And more asinine tales are just what this thread needs.

*throws Megadei at A Clockwork Tomato for making puns*

quote:

Originally posted by A Clockwork Tomato Combine Vera's whip and the transportation and you've got an ass-o'-nine-tails. And more asinine tales are just what this thread needs.

ROTFLMAO

I'll see if I can't come up with SOMETHING

Here's my try at one of these.

Roger: This is gonna be fun!
Dorothy: You better not blame it all on me though.
Roger: No, Dorothy, that goes there.
Dorothy: Geez! Sorry! I've never done this before!
Roger: Ok, she did it in the kitchen with a wrench.
Dorothy: How can she do that with a wrench?
Roger: Don't ask me, I don't really wanna know...
Dorothy: I think I'm getting it... almost there....
Roger: Damn it, you won.
Dorothy: Yay! This game you humans call Clue is pretty fun.


>_< I feel soiled.

Roger: ** Breathing heavy. ** Wow, that’s great.
Angel: ** Breathing heavy too. ** You are telling me.
Roger: I thought I was going to faint.
Angel: Well, you started out too fast. Didn’t anybody ever told you to pace yourself?
Roger: Pace myself? I go strong or I don’t go at all.
Angel: It is good that I am in shape. I could do it all day and night.
Roger: Not to contradict you, but you look too tired to go on.
Angel: What are you talking about? You are the one who’s panting.
Dorothy: Roger, Angel does look tired. Besides, I would like my turn.
Angel: I am fine, really. Besides Dorothy, you would kill Roger. Androids can go at it forever without stopping.
Dorothy: Angel, don’t forget that I am a woman too.
Roger: ** Trying to defuse the situation. ** How about this? Let’s all go for it. Right here, right now.
Dorothy: I am fine with that?
Angel: Three of us? I don’t know.
Roger: It’s only a race, Angel. I thought you loved to run.

lol soo wrong yet soo funny..lol God that was good....

Roger: "i perform a valuable service in this city of amnesia"
Angel(leering): "I just bet you do, Tiger..."
Roger(sweatdrop forming): "just what are you insinuating?"
Angel(smiling sweetly): "i'm not insinuating anything, handsome, I just want you to put me on your list for "negotiations"
Roger(eyebrow raised): "ummm...."

I am so going to hell for this one for sure...

*scene: A shady bar in a bad part of Paradigm. Smoke hangs in the air, mediocre jazz is playing on the jukebox, and Beck is sitting in a corner booth, drinking. Suddenly, Dorothy walks in, looking around with an odd mix of nervousness and shy anticipation. she spots Beck and walks over, not making eye contact with anyone else. He does not notice her until she is standing in front of him...*

Beck(surprised): HUH!? What are you doing here, Robot girl? come to gloat over Crow-Boy's latest victory?"

Dorothy(Eyes downcast): No. I... have come to talk to you about the way you... you...

Beck: Captured you and modified your core memory?

*Dorothy raises her head and looks straight at Beck. A strange intensity is evident in her eyes*

Dorothy(intense, but formal): Yes. That is correct.

*Beck is now getting concerned, since he is trapped in the booth by what could be a very angry android.*

Beck(nervous): Now listen, Lady...

*Suddenly, Dorothy breaks down and with a short inarticulate cry throws herself at Beck and clings to him, her face buried in his lapel*

Dorothy(breathless): I can't pretend any Longer! Ever since I first felt your manly code penetrate my firewall, I've wanted more! HACK ME, YOU 1337 STUD YOU!

Beck: er...

That's the spirit ladies and fellas. We need more of these type of stories.

* High fives Advinius and Redd **

Love to see you guys thinking as dirty as me.

quote:

Originally posted by Advinius HACK ME, YOU 1337 STUD YOU! Beck: er...

ROTFLMAO!

*Applauds enthusiastically*

Bravo! More! More!

roger is reading a magazine at the lounge & sees ashleigh walk in.

ashleigh:*grumble*
roger: what's wrong?
ashleigh:my foot's so cramped,I can't walk any more!
roger: want me to massage your feet?
ashleigh:ok!
*ashleigh moans comfortably*
ashleigh:ahhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhh roger, I like it rough!!
*angel hears through the door*
angel: oh my god!!!
angel: dorothy come over here!
dorothy: what's going on?
angel:I think ashleigh's doing IT with roger.
dorothy: oh no she ain't messin' with my man!!!!
*dorothy kicks down door*
ashleigh & roger: huh?
dorothy: alright! what the #$%& is going on here?
ashleigh: roger was giving me foot massage.
dorothy: ohhh.

I hope this isn't TOO dirty..

(Roger, Angel, and Norman are in the penthouse)

Roger: Ugh.. I don't think I can get this in there by myself.
Angel: Here, let me help you. Get it up here. (pause) Yikes! There's no WAY that's going to fit.
Norman: As I said, sir, perhaps we should ask Miss Dorothy to assist us. She is much stronger than the three of us combined. She could likely force it in with one good push.
Roger: I don't think so, Norman. This thing is solid as a rock, and just as hard. It's not going to fit in that little opening. Besides, I wouldn't want Dorothy accidentally breaking it.
Angel: I'm with the butler on this one. I'll go get Dorothy.
Roger: No, Angel! The last thing I need is one more embarassing thing for Dorothy to razz me about.

(Angel returns a few moments later with Dorothy)

Dorothy: What seems to be the problem?
Angel: We can't seem to get Roger's thing to fit in here. Do you think you could force it in or something?
Dorothy: I would not want to damage the goods. I think the best option would be to get a new one.
Roger: Are you crazy?! I LIKE this one!
Dorothy: Well, that will teach you to buy a new T.V. stand without measuring your T.V. first.

Roger walks by and overhears the following conversation:

DOROTHY: So you prefer boxers?

NORMAN: Yes, miss. With boxers, there's no limit to how long a stroke you can have, or how big a bore.

DOROTHY: But a lot of people get by with a short stroke.

NORMAN: They try to make up for it with increased speed, but it really isn't the same. Big bore, long stroke, low speed -- that's the ticket.

ROGER: What's going on here?

DOROTHY: Norman's telling me about motorcycle engines.

[A "boxer engine" is the transverse engine in a BMW motorcycle.]

ACT, you are so bad.

Tifaria, too dirty? Not for this joint.

That was cool, ladies and gents.

Dorothy: What’s that between your legs?
Roger: What do you think it is?
Dorothy: Well, it’s long and hairy.
Roger: That’s self evident.
Dorothy: Why is it slobbering like that?
Roger: It gets like that when it’s excited.
Norman: Oh dear, it is getting the floor all wet.
Dorothy: How do you get it unexcited?
Norman: Maybe by petting it?
Roger: That will make it more excited. No, I just have to put him back where he belongs.
Dorothy: Roger, you are such a louse. He won’t fit in there.
Roger: Please, he’s been in smaller places.
Dorothy: You are going to hurt yourself.
Roger: Nah, don’t worry. ** Screams ** Oww, he bit me.
Dorothy: I told you that cage was too small.
Norman: Serves you right, trying to stuff a Basset Hound into Pero’s old cage.

Yes, that one does require some knowledge of motercycles in order to properly understand and find the scece amusing.
Tifaria: No, that was perfect. Although, all during the series we never see anyone owning a personal TV set, aside from Alex's monitering screen.
It seems that Television as we know it died during the Event 40 years ago.

I nearly choked on my bread when I read that, tvperez. Wrong, disgusting, and very funny

quote:

Originally posted by Wingnut Tifaria: No, that was perfect. Although, all during the series we never see anyone owning a personal TV set, aside from Alex's monitering screen. It seems that Television as we know it died during the Event 40 years ago.

I was going to have it be an hourglass instead, but that seemed kind of odd. Not that a T.V. is any LESS out of place..

Typerez, that was wrong, yet terribly funny. I'd kind of figured out what it was by the time I got to the part about it slobbering, but still.