[Fan Fiction] Cheap Innuendoes and Jokes (Mature Content may not be suitable for persons under 16 years of age.)

I know that I have been slacking, but here is the latest...

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** Roger is his study, reviewing for the next case. Suddenly he hears. **
Norman: Young girl, get out of my life. My love for you is way out of line.
Dorothy: Why do you push me away?
Norman: I am too old for you! Can’t you see?
Roger: ** To himself. ** Don’t look. You will not like what you see.
Dorothy: I see a man who is matured with wisdom!
Norman: Behind me! Stay your distance.
Dorothy: You know you want it!
Norman: I do, believe me. But, it is wrong.
Dorothy: I know you want me. Why do you resist?
Norman: I am no good for you. You are young, full of life. I am old and over the hill.
Dorothy: Kiss me now!
Roger: ** To himself. ** I can’t believe this crap.
Norman: What about your boyfriend?
Dorothy: We were never serious. He is a fool, he will never know.
Roger: ** Slamming his case files to the desk. ** Fool, am I. ** Run towards the Main Room. ** I’ll show you.
Norman: Let’s go. Let’s leave this house of melancholy.
Dorothy: ** Dry Laugh. ** Take me now! Take me…
Roger: ** Enters the Main Room. He sees Norman and Dorothy in a lip lock. ** I caught you! Norman after years of service, you betray me this way. As for you, Dorothy, I thought we had something special.
Norman: ** Blushing. ** Master Roger, I hope we didn’t disturb you.
Dorothy: We do have something special. Did you know that Norman is an excellent playwright? We were rehearsing his latest play.
Roger: ** Masking his embarrassment. ** Well, I have work to do. So, please keep it down.

quote:

Originally posted by Prince-Consort Tesser "I haven't had a good screwing in months," she complained. "And obviously Norman doesn't have what it takes. You do, I can tell - you have such large hands."

All I can say is that you know something's funny when my sisters start giving me death stares for laughing so hard at something on a computer screen.

roflmao!!! I love this thread hehehe

If you guys felt soiled after your posts...

Dorothy: This is very nice, Roger. I like it a lot.
Roger: If you liked that then you’ll love this…
Dorothy: Whoa! Careful now, you’re going to damage something!
Roger: What’s the matter? You scared?
Dorothy: Stop it, this is getting too rough.
Roger: How about we try this now…
Dorothy: I don’t think it will work…it’s just too large…
Roger: Don’t worry, it’ll fit.
Dorothy: Maybe if you do it slowly…
Roger: See, if we just do it slowly we can work it in. Want to speed it up a little?
Dorothy: NO! You’ll damage something!
Roger: Don’t worry, I’m fully confident in my abilities! We’ll speed up!
Dorothy: NO! NO! Pull out! You’re going to hurt it!
Roger: Sorry…here, we can re-position it…
Dorothy: That’s better, it looks like it will fit in without hurting anything now!
Roger: Alright! Time to bring it in!
Dorothy: Come on, do it faster!
Roger: So you want it faster now? Alright, I’m here to deliver… We’re almost done…
Dorothy: Aw…is it over already?
Roger: Don’t worry, I can go multiple times!
Dorothy: Great! Now let me take control.
Roger: You sure that you’re ready to be in control already?
Dorothy: Well you teach very well…
Roger: Of course, who else is so experienced with the art of Big O?
Dorothy: Yipee! Now I can drive the Megadeus too!
_________________________

Now I am officially the sickest minded person on this thread. Maybe I deserve a medal...or to be lawsuited...

To quote Lady Tesser: "I feel soiled..."

quote:

Originally posted by The Big Omega Roger: Of course, who else is so experienced with the art of Big O? Dorothy: Yipee! Now I can drive the Megadeus too!

Oohhh, this is horrible, simply horrible!!

I like it.

** Looking Around. **

Guys, your stories are cool. Keep it up.

The Big Omega, that was nasty, cruel, rude and tasteless. I loved it.

This thread is great!

Norman: Co'mon Dorothy it's time you learned how to please Master Roger.
Dorothy: OK Norman, but you've been doing it for so long...
Norman: Yes, well, its about time he gets a womans touch.
Dorothy: OK, so what do I need to do.
Norman: First of course, you must make sure it is completely bare. Nothing on.
Dorothy: Looks good...
Norman: Next, You need to oil up! The right ones make the experience much better.
Dorothy: Wow these smell good!
Norman: Next you must spread the legs and stuff it in.
Dorothy: OOO thats cold.
Norman: Dont worry you'll get used to it.
Dorothy: Ok I think im finished.
Norman: Good, Stick the turkey in the oven and set it to 325. Master Roger really likes his turkey.
Dorothy: That was fun, what next?
Norman: Lets see...how about the mashed potatoes?

*Hides*

The only way to completely wake up is to read this place. You just want to make sure you're reading what you think you're reading.

Whoa. These are all sick and twisted. I love them! They're so funny!

you people are sick. you find so much humor in such strange subliminal messages. they are nasty in a strange sort of way. how do you people come up with this stuff? can you teach me?

Roger turned into the street leading to the Frazier estate, and suddenly slammed on the brakes. Ahead in the road was a small flock of sheep, led by a large black sheep, haltered. On the other end of the rope was a child hardly taller than the beast he led. The child stopped at the Frazier's gate and talked up to the voicebox, the gate swung open, and the group walked in as if this was an everyday occurance.

"Roger, why are those sheep there?" asked Dorothy.

Roger shook his head, then slowly drove forward. He didn't want his Griffon too close to the sheep, but he did have an appointment. The gates opened again for him, and he drove up to the door. The child was standing there with the big black sheep. She looked doubtfully at the Griffon, but relaxed when Roger and Dorothy got out.

Dorothy asked, "Excuse me, but why are those sheep here?"

The child, a girl, looked up at her and said, "They are the lawn trimmers, ma'am. We come by every week to keep the grass short."

"And why is this one tied up?"

"This is the Roger, ma'am." At Dorothy's confusion, she added, "He's the male."

"Why do you call him 'the Roger'? Is that his name?"

"Well, yes, ma'am, but it's also his job."

"Job?"

Roger was already turning red as the girl replied, "He's here for the ewes, ma'am. You know -- to give 'em babies."

Dorothy was taken aback, and the child continued, confidentially, "If he doesn't work out, his name is Mutton."

quote:

Originally posted by Bllue you people are sick. you find so much humor in such strange subliminal messages. they are nasty in a strange sort of way. how do you people come up with this stuff? can you teach me?

Actually, it's really easy. Go to any public place like a mall and listen to people talk. Listen for phrases that can be taken two ways. Once you have acquired a good collection, put something together

Angel: Ah, that feels good.
Roger: Well, I sure hope so.
Angel: A little bit deeper.
Roger: Will do.
Angel: Mmm. That’s feels so good.
Roger: Let me perform a technique I learned in college.
Angel: Go right ahead. Mmmm
Roger: How’s that?
Angel: Great! It feels so good. You must’ve been popular with the ladies back then.
Roger: I’m still popular.
Angel: Yeah, with Dorothy maybe. Too bad she can never feel it like I do.
Roger: Let’s not talk about her like that. Let’s use some more oil.
Angel: Ah. That’s so good. Let’s do this a little faster.
Roger: You want to see my rapid mode? Won’t that kill the fun?
Angel: I have to go in a few minute. Mmmm. Come on, now.
Roger: My hands are getting tired. Dorothy can help me out.
Angel: Just the thought of three of us creeps me out. Mmm... You are strange, Roger.
Roger: Well, it would spice things up. Let me call her.
Angel: No!!!
Roger: Dorothy, can you finish Angel’s massage?
Dorothy: ** Cracking her knuckles. ** Of course! Shall we?

tvperez: I was reading through that slowly just to see how you were going to explain it away at the end . Heh, funny stuff ), and I'm glad that it's more or less clean. I've been away from this forum too long; as soon as my brain recovers from this week , I'll see what I can come up with .

Norman: I like them.
Dorothy: You think they are pretty?
Norman: Nice jugs.
Dorothy: Thank you, Norman. How about you, Roger? Do you like them?
Roger: Well, if you want my opinion, they are nice but slightly off. Look at the left one, it is drooping a little. ** giggling. ** Is that normal?
Dorothy: If it was drooping, why didn't you tell me before?
Roger: Well, this is the first time that they are not covered.
Dorothy: You are such a louse and a liar! You have seen them plenty of times. Especially, when you thought I wasn’t looking.
Roger: I…I…I don’t know what you mean.
Dorothy: You don't? I saw you lift up the sheet to get a sneak peek when you thought I was sleeping!
Norman: Master Roger, it seems that the young lady has caught you red handed.
Roger: Well, whatever. Hey, don’t grab them like that!
Dorothy: Why? They are mine, aren’t they?
Roger: Yes. But you promised them to me.
Dorothy: Well, if you don’t like them, I will give them to Norman.
Roger: Sorry, I know that you worked very hard to create them. I promise not to laugh at the left one again.
Dorothy: Thank you. My pottery skills are improving, thanks to Norman.

Milk jugs or juice jugs?

*gets carried off by husband for being out-of-character*

Lady Tesser, keep your mind out of the sewer. There is not enough room for the both of us there.

Angel: So Dorothy are you ready?
Dorothy: Yeah lets go.
Angel: So whens the last time you did this?
Dorothy: Years Im afriad...
Angel: Good this will be fun!
Dorothy: OK so now what?
Angel: Try this out for size...
Dorothy: OO its a bit tight!
Angel: Just wait a sec, it'll feel better.
Dorothy: *smiling* This is nice...
Angel: Yeah I like it too.
Dorothy: Thanks a lot angel, I had a great time.
Angel: I hope we can do this again soon.
Dorothy: Yeah, Roger never does this with me.
Angel: Well, men are never very good at shoe shopping...

After a discussion on proper conduct from Zola, we came up with this:

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Vera: Oh yes! You know what to do.
Gordon: I am too old for this. Let me be!
Vera: You mean you can't do it anymore?
Gordon: When I was young, it was nothing. But now?
Vera: Quit your crying! You insignificant tomato farmer!
Gordon: I can only take so much of your abuse.
Vera: This does not satisfy me. Shall I use the whip?
Gordon: No, it would hurt too much.
Vera: Maybe, I should have asked one of the young farmers to do it.
Gordon: What difference does it make? They would not be able to move any faster.
Vera: I am getting bored. Move your ass!
Gordon: Everything I got is old and tired.
Vera: I am ready to go now. Please hurry up.
Gordon: Where do you want these flats? The donkey is too old to be hauling loads like this!

quote:

Originally posted by tvperez After a discussion on proper conduct from Zola, we came up with this:

Sure, blame it on me!