[Fan Fiction] The Big O Blooper Special!(Rated TV/PG-14/M)

(First season opening credits play, only instead of the Big O theme, it's Queen's 'Flash Gordon' theme.)

Freddie Murcury:
Flash! AH-AHHHHH! Savior of the universe!
Flash! AH-AHHHHH! He'll save every one of us!

(A burst of laughter comes from the background as the music slows down and jumbles to a stop.)

Voice Over 1: Aw, crud in a bucket. Where the hell is the Engrish version??
Voice Over 2: The hentai brigade stole it, they think it means something naughty.

(Beck giggles insanely, followed by several censor 'beeps'.)

Voice Over 1: Meet their king.
Voice Over 2: Just cue the hosts.

(Stage lights up to reveal two figures - Dorothy Wayneright, clad in a short black skirt and a fluttery shirt, and Roger Smith wearing a pair of jeans, t-shirt, and a leather jacket and his hair is a mess. Both are sitting in tall director's chairs.)

Dorothy: Hello, and welcome to the Big O Blooper Special. I'm Dora and I play R. Dorothy Wayneright.
Roger: And I'm clone-boy, I play Roger Smith. Tonight, we're going to expose all the silly tidbits of Big O that you otaku with no lives demand.
Dorothy: Including the infamous Red Bull blooper.
Roger: But now, we'll show you this clip to start things off.

(Scene from act 2, Dorothy and Norman standing on the balcony, Dorothy holding a tray with a cup of coffee on it.)

Dorothy: Where is he?
Norman: He jumped off the balcony, dear. We'll just have to run away together.

(Crew giggles in background. Roger runs out, tying his robe.)

Roger: Sorry! My shoulders got stuck in the door of my dressing room. Where were we?

(Dorothy approaches him primly, then drops the tray and jumps into his arms.)

Dorothy: Oh, my hunkalicious stud muffin - you didn't jump!

(Roger's pajama pants suddenly drop, although the robe is covering everything [sorry girls]. Norman doubles over in laughter.)

Roger: Excuse me, I feel a draft ...

* * *

Add your own bloopers, folks.

Good one Lady Tesser..
(Roger puts flower in Dorothy's hair..)
Big O and Norman.."Kiss her already, You Dolt!!"
Roger turns and looks at the script.."Hey that's not in the script..at least not yet" (Roger looks dissapointed)
(Dorothy grabs him, dips him and kisses him)
"It is now.."

"Greatest Villian, take 5, "Roger Head Scene"
Roger (to robotic expert): Okay it is working now, right?
RE: Yeah don't worry, it was just a blown fuse before. It shound be fine now.
Dorothy: Hurry up! I have an anger management class to be to by 9.
Director: Okay! Action!
(silence)
Director (to robotic expert): (psst!! Turn on the head, stupid!)
RE: Sorry ! (flips head switch. A spark flies) Holy crap!
Roger Head: Big O! Big O! Big O! Big O! Big O! Big O! Big O! Big O! Big O! Big O! Big O! Big O! Big O! Big O! Big O! Big-
Roger: What's wrong now?
RE: It won't turn off!
Dorothy (eyebrow begins twitching): Shut that stupid thing up right now.
(Roger Head continues in the background) RE: I'm trying, but something blew...
(Dorothy slowly picks up prop suitcase and heads towards Roger Head)
Roger....Uh, Dorothy....?
Roger Head: Big O! Big O! Big O! Big-
(Dorothy raised the suitcase and repeatedly strkes at Roger Head)
Roger Head: Biiig Ooo Biiiig Ooooo Biii- (shuts down)
(Dorothy stands, breathing heavily, holding what's left of the suitcase)
Dorothy (glaring at Roger): You know, for some reason, I feel much better....
Roger (feeling uncomfortable): Glad to hear it...
(Dorothy still glaring)
Director: (smiling at the camera man) Tell me got that.
Camera man: You know I did.
RE: That...was....my suitcase.....

Norman and Dorothy are in the kitchen preparing Roger's dinner..
"Oh, Dear. Master Roger will be late. He said not to fix dinner..What will I do with all this food.."

(Dorothy grins...then flings some peas at Norman..)
"Food Fight!"
(Norman and Dorothy then throw food at each other and the camera men..Fun is had by all until..)

"Norman!! RDorothy Wayneright!! What the @#*& is going on?? Look at the mess you two made.."

(Norman and Dorothy look at each other, then grin knowingly..They start throwing food at Roger..)

"Turn that camera off, c'mon knock it off..You are ruining my suit!!"

act 2: backstage at the Nightingale Club

(Roger getting ready for his scene, costume person checking the inside of his jacket, dusting it off, etc. He's on a cell phone.)

Roger: Hey, Manny, what's up, dude? Got that gig for me? What?? No, I am not going to play Akira from DDR, that's out of the question. Why, you ask? Because I've already got the parental groups on my butt concerning Dora - they think she's thirteen, and that girl in the DDR thing is obviously twelve. Don't tell she's supposed to be sixteen, I know jailbait when I see it; frankly because I'm allergic to an institutional diet and having a big, ugly, lovesick redneck for a roommate. Manny, you're a smeghead. Listen, I gotta go. Try to get me on that date with Queen Latifah, man, she is a FINE piece of woman!

(Dorothy comes up behind him and smacks him across the back of the head with her microphone stand.)

Roger: Ow ... Manny ... later ...

(Beck comes up and surveys the damage: Roger laying on floor and rubbing the back of his head.)

Beck: (to Dorothy) You knocked his fake eyebrows off, sugar.

* * *

(Back to Dora and Clone-Boy.)

Dorothy: Windshield Wipers of Death.
Roger: And what about you, Miss 'I wasn't Screwed Tight Enough'?
Dorothy: We can't show that clip, the censors would plotz.
Roger: Here's part of it.

* * *

Act 7(?) Legacy of Amadeus

(Roger and Dorothy are standing at the door to the Amadeus club when she pushes it down. They enter. A loud metallic 'CLUNK' hits the floor and the crew starts laughing. The camera pans down to see that Dorothy had lost one of her legs, which is now laying on the floor.)

Roger: Should I call costuming, make-up, or an ambulance?
Dorothy (picking leg up): I wasn't screwed tight enough last night, smeghead. I need a proper scr -

* * *

(Clip ends and it's back to the hosts.)

Roger: As you can see, it was getting into icky territory.
Dorothy: How about take 12 on that Duplicate Head bit from act 18?
Roger: Oh, geez ...

* * *

act 18: in Beck's new hideout

(Roger pinned up to the cross thing and the Duplicate Head staring back at him.)

Roger: This thing really echoes - ?
Head: This thing really echoes - ?
Roger: Kewl!
Head: Kewl!
Roger: Stop that!
Head: Stop that!
Roger: I'm warning you!
Head: I'm warning you!
Roger (takes arms down and starts dancing): Shake-shake-shake senora -
Head: Shake-shake-shake senora -
Roger: Shake ya' body line!
Head: Shake ya' body line!
Roger: Work-work-work senora -
Head: Work-work-work senora -
Roger: Work it all the time!
Head: Work it all the time!
Roger: I like this thing.
Head: I like this thing.
Roger (smirking): Roger Smith, you are one slick dude with a cool sense of style.
Head: You're a smeghead.

(Crew breaks into laughter.)

'Beck comes back'
R. Dorothy has just been captured by Beck, and hooked to one of his mind control devices. Roger attacks Beck, and now Dorothy has helped Roger up.

"Are you all right?"
*dorothy hugs roger*
"Roger.."
"Dorothy!"
"Roger. I. Love. You." *squeezes harder*
"DOROTHY!!" *Roger's top half suddenly snaps off and Dorothy quickly lets go, surprised.

"You broke another Roger?!" the director yelled, running onto the set.

"Well, maybe you should make them a little tougher."

"Fine, fine. But to be safe, we'll need extra. We need another 173 Roger android clones, chop chop!"
-------------------------------
'Daemonseed'
*Stand a Chance is playing*
*Norman's motorcycle flies right over Big O*
*Roger stares in awe and slight confusion*
*Norman continues driving*
*heads toward wall*
SPLAT!
"Hey, that wall was supposed to be made from styrophome!"

"It's bad for the eviroment!"

"And bricks are bad for an old man's health."

Act 3: Electric City

*The Hydra monster starts choking when it tries to eat Big O*
*A zipper on its back opens and a large Teamster steps out*

Director: What's the problem?!?!
Teamster: It's my break time.

Big O pops his head off, revealing Roger, and goes over to get some coffee and donuts.

"Missing Cat"
Director: (reaching to Dorothy) We have to take the cat now Dorothy.
Dorothy hugging Pero close to her) No, he's mine. I'm keeping him. ROGER!
Director: YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM! He's an acting cat, his owners...or parents (as they prefer to be called) are coming to pick him up. We have to get moving on to the "bad Pero" scene today!
Dorothy: But...But...I love this cat. I won't give him back. ROGER!
Director: Roger's in his flippin' trailer. What's he going to do?
Dorothy: Here he comes.
Roger: (in robe and messy hair ) What?
Dorothy: Negotiate so I can keep Pero.
Roger: Dorothy...we've been thru this once, I am not going to say that speech again.
Dorothy: BUT YOU MUST!
Pero: (sees his owners) MEOW! (moves around, not declawed)
Dorothy: OW! TAKE HIM AWAY HE'S HURTING ME!
Pero's mom: Oh there's my baby.
Dorothy: I want him.
Pero's mom: He's mine
Roger: Dorothy, we'll go to the SPCA later and adopt a cat, all right?
Dorohty: I want Pero.
Roger: Not after this is over.
Dorothy: Negotiate, you are a negotiator.
Roger (to Pero's Mom): My friend here is interested in adopting-
Pero's Mom: NO.
Roger (to Dorothy): Now see. She loves him. If you truely love that cat, you would let him go to his home and wish him best. Maybe you can visit him?
Dorothy: (teary eyed) But...but...
Director: CAN WE SETTLE THIS? TODAY!? (taps watch)
Roger: Come on. I'll take you later to adopt a cat, ok?
Dorothy: I want Pero!
Director: Not after this next scene.

"After Bad Pero scene."
Dorothy: Roger, I want him too. Bad Pero is kind of cute. Where does one adopt a monster?
Roger: Oh no...Not again...

(Back to the hosts.)

Dorothy: At least I got my pet monster. His name's Cthulhu.
Roger: Anyway, here's something about monsters, too.

* * *

act 12: Paradigm City scene

(Big Duo and Big O are battling it out.)

Director: CUT!

Roger (taking Big O head off): Okay, break time, Mike.
Schwarzwald (taking Big Duo head off): No prob, Roge. Buy you a beer?
Roger: Sounds good.

(Both walk off the set. A few seconds later, Alex and Alan dash onto the set and start stomping around and growling, doing Godzilla impressions. Dorothy steps into view at the edge of the set.)

Dorothy: Do yuo guys have any idea how gay that looks?
Alan: Oh, come on, dollgirl, haven't you always wanted to do this?
Dorothy: Well, yeah ....

(Dorothy joins Alan and Alex in tearing up the miniature set. Roger and Schwarzwakd watch as they leaned against equipment while still in their Big costumes, drinking bottled beer.)

Roger: Girls will be girls ...
Schwarzwald: Dorothy?
Roger: All three of them ...

"RD, take 1, "Big O entrance"
Director(talking to red-hooded Dorothy stunt double): Okay, in this scene, all you do is point the gun at at Roger, say your line, then we give you the que to move when Big O breaks through. Got it?
Dorothy double: Is it really okay?
Director: Of course.
Dorothy double: 'Cause I don't want to get hurt.
Director: You won't...
Dorothy double: I plan to move on to bigger things.
Director: Right you are....
Dorothy double: This is just a stepping stone...
Director: Sure...now lets get ready.(walks towards director's chair) Putz....Alright, is everyone ready? Is Dorothy in the Big?
Stage director: Yeah.
Director:alright, Action!
(scence takes place)
Dorothy double: This is goodbye....Mr. Negotiator!!!!
(director gives signal )
Stage Director: Now!!
(nothing happens)
Roger:.....
Director: Stan, what happened!?!
Stage director:..Uh, don't know. Just do the scene again.
Director: Okay, take 2! And...ACTION!
(repeat of scene)
Dorothy double: This is goodbye....MR. NEGOTIATOR!!!
(nothing happens)
Director: Dammit Stan, what's happeening?!?!
Stage director :...It's out of gas...
Roger(thinking)....It runs on gas...?
Dorothy double(throws down prop gun) Oh, come on, now! I thought this was supposed to be a professional shot. Do you people know what you are doing!?! I have an audition at seven and I-
(sudden rumbleing shakes the ground. Big O breaks through the surface under the doubles feet) WHAT THE HEL-(interrupted when she crashes through the ceiling. All on set are in shock. Dorothy emerges from cockpit, mouth gaped open in shot.)
Director: ........Uh, Dorothy....what....?
Dorothy (still in shock): It just....started moving by itself after it heard her....
Roger:....Damn! Now we have to get another double!
(clean-up crew investigates the crash0
Director (to camera man): Were you still rolling when that happened?
Camera man: Yep.
Director: So you caught it on tape?
Camera man: uh-huh...
Director:...Good....burn it, and every other copy.
Camera man: you got it...
Stage cleaner (calling from on top of Big O): Hey! Sombody pass me a bucket 'o water an' Pine-Sol!! (stops to cover his nose with his shirt) and a handkerchief - This ain't no bed 'a roses, hear!!

[Back to Clone-Boy and Dora ...]

"You enjoy humiliating me, don't you, Dora?"

Dora grins and strikes a kawaii pose. "Immensely, Clone-Breath."

"Hehehe. Well, I'm not the only one who gets embarassed on this show."

Dora suddenly starts acting as emotionless as Dorothy. "What do you mean?"

Clone-Boy twirls his hand in the air. "ROLL 'EM!!"

++++++++++++++++++++

"Dora! My Love! Please be mine!"

"Go away. You're annoying me!"

"Just one night! One night of unbridled passion! I can make you a real woman with my love!"

"Go away, Angel."

"NO! I've given you candy and flowers and diamonds and you won't even date me! What does that lump Roger have that I don't have?!"

"Well, he has a -"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" [grab] "I need you! I want you! I love you!"

"Angel ..."

"What, Dorothy?"

"The cameras are running."

[blink-blink] "Oh." [gulp] "Errr ... OH! You thought I was serious! It was just a joke! Tee-hee! A big-ol' practical joke! My wasn't that funny!" [fidget-fidget] "Uh ... I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell my husband about this little ... misunderstanding? Okay? Dora? Pal?"

"A ten-pound box of chocolates every week should keep me too distracted to tell him about this little ... episode."

++++++++++++++++++

Clone-Boy is laughing his head off as Dora glares at him.

Dora: You smeghead.
Roger: Someday, somebody's going to ask what that means.
Dora: And when they do, we'll tell them to ask again when they're thirty.
Roger: Anyway, here's one of Mike's favorite outtakes.

* * *

act ?: Leviathan

(Schwarzwald is standing on a sand dune with the director.)

Director: Okay, Mike, this is where you run across the dune with your arms outstretched and grinning madly. Your modivation is that you found a piece of the Truth, and you're quite happy about it.
Mike: Got it.
Director(going off set): Okay, let's start filming! Everyone, off the set! Start the fans! Okay, Mike - ACTION!

(Schwarzwald starts running across the dune, his arms outstretched as he hums merrily.)

Schwarzwald (suddenly): WHEE! I'M A FLYING MEGADEUS!

Director: CUT! You don't even have a line here, Mike!
Schwarzwald: It makes sense! So sit on it and rotate, Paradigm Lapdog!

(they are shooting a scene with big o fighting the Beck... orient.... power ranger like thing...)

Beck voiceover: I'll SHOW YOU WHO IS THE REAL DOMINUS OF YOUR MEGADUES! ORIENT BOOMERANGE ATTACK!
::the orientmegadues starts doing poses all over the place than trips and falls down::

Directer: Ok THAT IT!!! YOU NEVER GET THISS RIGHT OPTIMUS!
Optimus: Sorry... its just been sucha long time scence the old show...
I mean uhh...
Tankbot(refer to old...old transformers fanfic in make up your own big o scene): Give him some slack! Hes been working on that all day! Its harder than you think!
::tank hands optimus a coffee::
here... its from the good starbucks...

::Alen Gabrial Walks in from stage left::
Alen: Where the H*** is my Bloody Wine for sake you mother F***in B******!!!!
Director: Not now... please....
Alen: ALEN DEMANDS A COFFEE!!!
Director: NORMAN!
::Norman looks up from his reading book::
Norman: Dude... i like.... only PLAY a buler... gotta chill!
Director: Could you atleast get schwarzwald...
Norman: NO IM NOT GOING INTO THAT DEPRESSED FREAKS ROOM!!!
Alex(holding a large medal bat): I'll be back....(terminator like)

;:walks in with coffee and schwarzwald in his formal strapjaket and blood comeing from his mouth::

Alen: WTF DO WE PAY THIS MADMAN FOR!
Dorothy: Well mainly he makes great coffee... he own a bar before.. umm... the "accident"....
Schwarzwald: heh... HAHAH... IT WAS 40 YEARS AGO!!!
Dorothy: He uhh.... fought in vietnam...... his age slowed.... alot ... and uhh... he sorta went insain from the shock...
Director: He acts as schwarzwald... beacuse he practicly is him... and madmen work for almost nothing.... BECAUSE THEY HAVE CRAZY PRICES!!!::weird boing sound and the camara zooms in and out of teh dirictors experstionless face:: (laugh track)

Schwarzwald : hehe.... haha... HAHAHAHAHHA.....::continues laughter::
Norman: Hey wait... dont we need angel for the next scene?
Dorothy: She is hosting with martha stewert...

MEANWHILE AT LIVING WITH MARTHA

Angel: And thats how you make tomato pie...

Roger Smith: Sometimes it takes a while to get a scene just right...

Alan Gabriel advances on Dorothy, drill hand spinning. He revs it several times. laughing maniacally and looks at in shock as it flies off and embeds itself into the ceiling.

Dorothy: Roger, save me. A man who doesn't know how to hold on to his tool is a real threat to civilization.

Director's voice (over crew laughter) CUT!

several cuts are shown of the drill flying off in varying directions

Big O puts up its arms to protect itself from the punches of the evil megadeus as Roger looks at the video screen and sees Gabriel approaching Dorothy, drill spinning. It flies off his arm again, there is an unbearable pause, and Dorothy is seen standing, triumphantly holding the drill in her teeth.

Roger Smith: Big O, let's get an insant replay of that one!

A beam of light suddenly shoots out of the Big O's eye and a square of light is projected on the dome above. Even the evil megadeus stops pummeling and watches with great interest as the clip is redisplayed, this time in slow motion. The drill flies off Gabriels hand and Dorothy somehow manages to push off with her good leg and catch the drill in her teeth.

The scene cuts to the video pickup Gabriel is holding. Suddenly, a voice emanates from it

Evil Megadeus: Baby, you're amazing. What do you say I finish up with this loser over here and you and I get together for a nice case of oil?

Second Voice: You aren't going anywhere with my girl!

Roger Smith (looking horrified) Big O?

Roger Smith: I still don't know how you managed to do that, Dorothy. I don't know why you're wasting your time on this two-bit operation! You could be playing the love interest in a Jackie Chan flick! You could do all your own stunts!

cut to another instant replay being projected onto the inner dome

Both megadei sit down and horse laugh as the drill goes flying yet again, knocking down a precariously balanced cement block that lands directly on Gabriel's head.

Evil Megadeus: Come on, O, let's go get some oil. We're never going to get this scene done today. Bring that pretty girlfriend of yours.

Big O: (Over the video pickup) Dorothy, come on out.

Dorothy unscrews the damaged arm and uses it for a crutch and exits the room. The scene cuts to Big O, who is holding Norman in his hand.

Norman: I brought the spares, Miss Dorothy, this should only take a minute.

He helps Dorothy onto Big O's hand and the megadeus lifts them back up and walks down the street to meet the other megadeus.

The camera cuts to Roger, who is looking dejected.

Roger Smith: Great, now I get to listen to human jokes all night. Maybe I should make my own plans tonight...

Dorothy: Roger, I keep telling you, they aren't laughing at you, they're laughing with you!

This thread is also quickly becoming a favorite!! Great job everyone!!
I can't wait to read more..

"The Third Big, take 1,"Big Fau entrance"
Director: Okay! Places, everyone! We ready? Where's Alex?
Alex (sitting with Alan, drinking a cup of coffee): Right here, but I don't think I agree with this lighting....could we get a few more? I don't want anything wrong with my megadeus' first grand entrance!
Director: Ah, sure, if that's what you want
Roger (off to the side, watching with Angel and Dorothy): Oh god....this primadonna's gonna take all night - I can feel it.
Alex (glares at Roger, then turns to director): And what's he doing here?
Roger: I work here, why else?
Director: Alex, pal, he's the star; he present at every shot. The lights are being moved as you asked - want to get into place?
Alex: Sure (gets up, with Alan close behind. Walks towards set, passing Roger on the way) At least someone cares about how important this scene will be.
Roger: Stop being so full of yourself. (smirks) Just get in the Grouper and be done with it.
(silence descends on the set. Everyone knew what was instigated and waited for the inevitable)
Alex (turning to Roger, very angry): What did you just say!?!
Alan (placing hand on Alex's shoulder): Just let it go, man. You know he's trying to-
Alex: No! (walks up to Roger): Now, I know you're not dissing my Fau!
Roger: (still smirking) So what if I am? What are you going to do about it, fish-boy?
(Angel and Dorothy instantly step back)
Director: Hey! Time is money! We don't have-
Alex: (ignoring director): How about smacking those arrow-headed fake eyebrows off your head?
Roger: I'd like to see you try, but you'd better hurry; Big Grouper is waiting underground, and you know how fish start to smell after awhile; I'm starting to smell it right now (leans close to le and sniffs) Oh wait - nevermind.....
Alex(his mind collapses in a sea of rage and his retorts revert to that equivalent to a twelve-year-old's) It's Big Fau!!
Roger:Grouper.
Alex: FAU!!!!
Roger: Grouper.
Alex: Grouper!! (waits for Roger to slip; sees him smiling insted).............
(Roger still smiling)
Alex: Well, I can kick your butt!!
Roger: Bring it on, fish lips!
(a fight ensues. Alex swings; Roger barely ducks, throwing Alex off balance. Roger than tries to judo flip. but - without a choreographer - fails miserably. Tha non-fight continues without either side really...doing anything. Everyone on set is laughing. It's quite sad.....)
Dorothy: ....How men amuse themselves.
Angel: I agree. Want to et a cup of coffee?
Dorothy (sighing) Alright.(thay exit)
Director: (head cradled in right hand, turns to camera man) Hey, you getting....
Camera man: You know I am....but it's not really worth it.
Director: Like watching two game cocks trying to fight with their legs tied....

quote:

Originally posted by Lady Tesser (Schwarzwald starts running across the dune, his arms outstretched as he hums merrily.) Schwarzwald (suddenly): WHEE! I'M A FLYING MEGADEUS! Director: CUT! You don't even have a line here, Mike! Schwarzwald: It makes sense! So sit on it and rotate, Paradigm Lapdog!

Ah. Plagerism is the finest forms of flatery.
-----------------
Roger gets up and faces the camera. "You may not realize this, but the storyline for The Big O is thought up on the spot. But we have to decide what to do, and that can take some time.."

"Only because you have to be the center of every battle, Mr. Negotiater."

"Quiet, Rosewater, it's my show. Show the clip!"
CUT TO FILMED PREPORATIONS FOR 'THE THIRD BIG'

Director: "So, Alan has stolen Big Duo, and then Alex will will face him in Big Fau, and they fight."

Alex in Fau: "Right."

Alan in Duo: "BOOGY BOOGY!"
*all sweatdrop*
Roger in O: "Hey, I want in on this scene!"

"Sorry, Neogtiater, this is Alan's and my scene only, get lost."

"I wouldn't mind fighting him-"

"SHUT UP!"

"How bout a game of jenkin to settle the score?"

"Fine."

"BOOGY!"

*the three Bigs then play Rock-Paper-Scizors while the director and film crew watch in boredom. Big O suddenly does paper while Duo and Fau do scizors*

"Ha, I fight Duo!"

"NO! MEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *Big O suddenly pounces on Duo, rips it to shreads, then faces Fau*

"We fight now, Rosewater!"

--------------
okay that was stupid but it was all i could think up

This thread is turning out really well. Would any of you guys like to sit down with me in another week or two (especially those of you who are really good at the in-between clip patter) and put it all together to submit it as a fan-fic?

When dorothy first wakes up roger with the piano

::dorothy is playing rundown... and our usual figure is scene restling in his covers... than the door gets slamed.... but doesn't open... dorothy stops playing and stares::

Dorothy: What? what happened?
Director: I think the door is stuck... ::sigh:: why did we actually have to use a real house...

*behind the door, a muffled voice can be heard*
Muff voice: So we meet agian... old foe... *Slam slam*

Dorothy: What the? Roger has NEVER said that?
::the sound of a window breaking::
Muff voice: Oh... nice to see you... old chum...
"old chum": like wise... what dastardly force is keeping us from progressing?
Dorothy: HEY ROGER ARE YOU OK!

Both muffed voices: one.... two.... THREE!!! *the door slams down and batman and robin fall over on the door holding a time bomb*

Dorothy: WHAT?!!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE FIRED?
Batman: oh well... we are shooting another movie in the appartment next door.... guess we uhh... got caught up with ourselves...
TO THE BATCAVE!
::batman jumps out the window and scremes can be heard... robin just walks over to the broken window and stares::

Robin: Holy heights...

Alfred: Master Bruce? Are you here?

::dorothy runs out of the room with great fear on her face::

Rob Sterling: Trapped.... ina world of parodies... simularities... a mear average woman goes mad from a phenonona that would drive anyone to the point of histeria... R. Dorothy Weighnright stuck in the world of batman... and only has one choice... to keep sain... She has experinced... the twighlight zone... ::twighlight zone theme plays::

-----
Back on the street dorothy is wearing a clown costume... and either holding a party celibrating the fall of mankinds compassion... or working with the joker... hard to tell in..... The twighlight zone...

(Well, maybe. I was just thinking of this as a silly thread which could run as long as it wants. Whatever you guys want, I'm easy.) (Wait, not THAT 'easy', perverts!)

(Sorry. Credit for 'I'm a flying Megadeus' goes to someone else on these boards, and I forgot who. I never made it up, I don't claim credit.)

* * *

(Cut to hosts. Roger has a lipstick mark on his jaw. Dorothy is fanning herself with a piece of paper.)

Dorothy: Anywho, there's been more than our share of fights.
Roger: Some of them we actually got on tape like those last few.
Dorothy: Some were by pure accident. Like this one.
Roger: You're not showing THAT one!
Dorothy: Yes, I am. Now shut up.

(She leans over and grabs him, both falling to the floor out of camera range.)

* * *

act 22: Rosewater villa

(Alan rises up behind Alex, demented grin on his face, like some sort of creepy clown. He snaps his wrist, ready to scrag Alex.)

Alex: Ah, Alan, there you are -

Roger (VO): DOROTHY WAYNERIGHT! GET BACK HERE!

(Dorothy comes running through the set, climbing up on the table and holding a camera. She's in the rubber ninja suit.)

Dorothy: Never, God of the Perfect Butt!

Alex: What are you two doing NOW?!

(Roger stomps onto the set, clad in a towel and nothing else.)

Roger: That Lolita-wannabe peeped me in the shower! I want that camera back!

Dorothy: Never! This camera - it's mine. The film inside - it's also mine!
Roger: And it's film of my [CENSORED]! I want it back!
Dorothy: Well, then you shouldn't have left your shower open. (bounces around and giggling)
Roger: ALL THE DOORS WERE LOCKED! YOU decided to break into my trailer just to get pics of me being naked!

(Alan shrugs and lights up a cigarette with one of his fingers, calmly smoking. Alex sighs and leaned on his elbow on the table.)

Alex: Are you two done yet? It's so obvious, I don't know why you're still trying to cover it up, Smith.
Dorothy: Yeah, just whip that towel off, baby.
Alex: I wasn't talking about that, Dottie.
Dorothy (disappointed): Oh.
Roger: Fine, you want to look, go ahead!

(Does take towel off. Unfortunately for the female viewers [fortunately for the rest of us] Roger's ... parts are blobbed out. Alex looks bored, while Alan begins giggling. Dorothy is filming her own copy, while Roger does a series of muscleman poses to be silly.)

Alan: Three, two, one -
Roger (suddenly): Hey, is the camera still rolling??
Alan: It's been on the past five minutes, Lord Godiva.
Roger: [CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED]!!!

(Roger runs off stage. Dorothy chases after him.)

Dorothy: WOOOO! SHAKE IT DON'T BREAK IT, BABY!!!

(Alex rolls his eyes, then slams facedown into a bowl of soup.)

Alex: God, give me amnesia ...
Alan: God, give me a night with that!

(Alex edges away from Alan.)