[Fan Fiction] The Big O Blooper Special!(Rated TV/PG-14/M)

Typerez, you are a very very naughty and bad person. You should be ashamed to hug your mother with the same hands that typed that piece of self-cleaning pornography.

I give it an 8 out of 10. ^_^

LOL!!!!
Oh man! That was too wrong and too hilarious!

I think I should start thinking about drawing a line with the innuendo.

That was great.

Later,
Pen1300

Yep, he is naughty, I give it an 8.5 outta 10 Anyway...

--------------
Dorothy: Now let's show them what Angel looks without her make-up

Roger: Are you on a quest to ruin her life?

Dorothy: Just shut up and watch. Yo Steve, you know what to do.

--------------

Dorothy: *whispering to camera* Now come this way, and quietly. We're on an important mission.

Random Camera Man: What are we doing?

Dorothy: We're going to go spy on Angel.

Steve: Oh, this should be fun.

Dorothy; There she is get down. *pushes heads down*

*with Angel*

Angel: *looks around* No one over there. It's safe now. *takes out a makeup remover kit* Finally I get to take off this restricting make-up. *starts to get rid of make-up*

*with staff*

Staff: Oh ahh ehhh

Dorothy: Are you getting this?

Steve: You bet.

*to Angel*

Angel: *now looks 40* And for the piece-de-resistance. *grabs at neck* I'm glad no one's around, otherwise they'd know my secret. *pulls down zipper*

*With Staff*

Staff: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Dorothy: No freakin' way.

Angel: What the ****!!1 Get out all of you get out.

Steve: I knew the budget way low, but I didn't know we had to have characters play two different roles.

Dorothy: You should be proud Angel. After all, looking like a she-he isn't so bad.

*Roger walks in*

Roger: Hi, Dorable, hi Steve, hey rest of staff. Oh hi there Vera.

----------------

Dorothy: At least I know she wouldn't take you away from me.

Roger: That...was...Angel?!! IT BURNSSSSS!!!!

---------------

If you didn't get the point Angel was really Vera under all that make-up. Just want to clear things up for you guys

*Roger and Dorothy have left to grab coffee, while unbeknownst to them, Schwarzwald has hijacked Steve and the film reels*



Schwarzy- I finally foud them! I can't believe they had been in my cone all along! Anyway folks, here's some of that pesky Paradigm Dog at his worst on the sets of Underground Terror and Enemy is Another Big that he didn't want you to see! Roll 'em!



Ep. 4- Underground Terror
-------------------------------------------
*Roger jumps out of the window as flames rise up around him, he shoots his grappling hook towards the roof and it hooks on*

Schwarzwald commentating- Yeah, here we go. This is classic. That fool had accidentally switched out his high-tensile wire that day for some normal rope. He said he wanted to be 'brave' and 'adventurous' with this scene. I guess the fact that we actually had the flames going that day didn't occur to that putz. It only goes down hill form here folks....

*back to Roger finally landing on the side of the building as planned.....but a small flame catches the rope*

Schwarzwald(in scene)- You'r a corrupt dog....on the city's le--"

*Schwarzwald watches from the roof as Roger's rope finally snaps and he hits the ground*

Roger- .....owww......

------------
Schwarzwald- Yeah, that one always gets me.*smiles* This next one from Enemy is Another Big is even better though.

Ep.12 Enemy is Another Big
-------------------------------------------------------
Schwarzy narrating- Now, what is going on here is the first scene with Roger and Alex, and them doing that business about the severence check. Now, before the shoot began, Roger had put a whoopie cushion in the seat of Big Duo for our second fight. When I hopped in, the loudest, nastiest thing you could ever hope to hear was recorded on film, and thanks to Duo's interior being red, the cushion isn't visable.....how'd I get back at him, you ask? Simple. I replaced the check he hands me with HIS actual paycheck for the last month.

*Flash to Roger walking through the party, Schwarzwald appears in the Clown Costume, they exchange their words as usual, Roger hands Schwarzwald a check, scene freezes*

Narration- ...here it is! Now, normally, you at home would see an amount of about $**35.50, or something like that, but here, you can clearly see that an amount of about $5000. Here I am burning the check.......and bam, he's just lost his month's pay!*breaks out laughing*

*film again, we hear Schwarzwald break character*
Schwarzwald- HA! Take that, you immature little fool! You just kissed your month's pay goodbye!

*some extras start giggling*

Roger-*deadpan expression......*
--------------
Schwarzwald- Yes, that was great. Now, if I could find the other reel I had, this would be even better.....

*Gordon sneaks up behind Schwarzwald and smacks him in the face with a tomato*

Schwarzwald- AHHH! Damn you Bobby! I just had this suit cleaned!!!!

*Schwarzy chases Gordon around, camera begins to flicker, and eventually goes out*

Very good, Schwarzwald101. Welcome to the fold.

tvperez ... NAUGHTY! ^_~ But, it's not like I have any room to say that.

BTW - I just watched Galaxy Express 999, and this is what happened:

* * *

A large ornate ship descends through the lighting grid over Paradigm City, smashing the metal and sending lights falling into the rubble of the city.

Roger (looking up): What is the special effects crew doing now?
Angel: Looks like they're playing with their toy warships again.

(The ship lowers further and details are made out, most especially the skull and crossbones on the stern.)

Roger: Wait a minute! I know that ship! *yells* HARLOCK, YOU SHOW OFF! What are you doing on MY show??

(The Arcadia descends just above the city. Harlock is on the deck of the space ship, posing coolly while his cloak flaps dramatically in the wind.)

Harlock: Come to get Dorothy, gel-head.
Roger: What? Why??
Harlock: Because she's a Matsumoto girl and she needs to finishing maturing - she needs to grow another foot taller, then she needs to grow her hair down to her knees. Don't worry, I'll bring her back when she's done.
Roger: No way, Brainlock! Dorothy stays here! You go back to your universe and play with your potato buddies. *grabs Angel's arm* In fact, take Angel with you!
Angel: Roger, this isn't funny. Stop playing with the tech crew.
Harlock (looking over Angel): Can't take her. Too many curves.
Angel (incensed): WHAT???
Harlock: Sorry, honey, but you have too many curves to be a Matsumoto Girl. Your hips are wider than your hands, your breasts are twelve sizes too big, and you have an actual butt. Union Rules are quite strict.

(Angel throws her hands up in disgust and stomps away. Dorothy comes out, wearing a black fur-trimmed russian winter coat and fur hat.)

Dorothy: I'm ready, Captain Harlock.
Roger (on knees): NOOOO! At least dress in one of those Emeraldas skin-tight leather jumpsuits!
Dorothy: But that's what Angel dresses in, Roger.
Roger: Yeah, but she doesn't look good in them! She looks like a pathetic Emma-Peel-wannabe or an aging bondage queen!

(Angel comes up behind Roger and slams a mallet over his head.)

Angel: CREEP!!!
Roger (moaning): Insecure peroxide-addict ...

(Dorothy is already on the deck of the Arcadia. Harlock turns to her.)

Harlock (leering): How about we go to my stateroom and I'll show you the ropes of being a cabin-girl?

(Mimei comes up behind Harlock and mallets him.)

Harlock: OUCH! (chasing after retreating Mimei) But sugar-lips! Ya knows I loves ya, bay-bee!
Mimei (snarling): Trouser-dropping freak ...
Dorothy: This isn't that different from what I left. Oh well, at least I won't have to look for all those hidden Military Police cameras in my bedroom anymore.

(On the ground, Dastun is running after the Arcadia.)

Dastun: DOROTHY!! COME BACK!! I STILL HAVE SIX BLANK TAPES!!

O.o
...ROFLMAO!!! XD
GOD JOB!! ...a bit freaky...BUT COOL!!!
...uhh... O_O *still in shock* ...that was TOTALLY wierd...but cool still

At this rate this thread will have a rating of beyond PG13 x.x;;; *cough*keepgoin*cough*

quote:

Originally posted by Lady Tesser (On the ground, Dastun is running after the Arcadia.) Dastun: DOROTHY!! COME BACK!! I STILL HAVE SIX BLANK TAPES!!

I think I'm scared to think about what's on the used ones...

*Zola salutes Lady Tesser*

quote:

Originally posted by Lady Tesser (On the ground, Dastun is running after the Arcadia.) Dastun: DOROTHY!! COME BACK!! I STILL HAVE SIX BLANK TAPES!!

*receives a package from Interpol the next day*
Zenigata- ...huh...but it isn't my birthday ...
*opens box*
Zenigata- What the...
"Dear Zenigata,
It's been too long since we've last seen each other at the Policeman's firearms convention...
......
........
..........
.............
...So here are the tapes of what I got my last case. I suggest you look at tape #18 in order to help you find out where that guy you are still looking for is. Good luck.

Your bud,
Major Dan Dastun"

Zenigata- hmm...*sees 22 video tapes in the box*...his last case?

*puts tape #18 in*

*52 minutes later*
O_O ... LUPIN!?!?! ...but who's the thin white young lady with him?!
DAMN IT!! He truely IS The Greatest Villain!!!

Woo-hoo! The connection is made at last! Good going, Evan!

Dorothy: Let's now explore the deep psychosis of Schwartzwald.
Roger: The maybe a little too graphic for our younger audience, so view discretion is advise.
Dorothy: Roll it!!!
---
Schwartzwald: I see now, the TRUTH.
Schwartzwald: It has alluded me for so long.
Schwartzwald: For years, I tried and failed.
Schwartzwald: You were always a step ahead of me.
Schwartzwald: But now, look at you. Nobody can help you now. Mmmmmmwa, ha, ha ,ha, ha
Schwartzwald: Now, you shall feel my wrath!
Schwartzwald: I stabath thee!!!
Schwartzwald: How does it feel now, huh? No longer the big time Negotiat....
Norman: Schwartzwald, who are you talking to.
Schwartzwald: Eh, nobody. Can a man and his steak have a moment alone?
Norman: We only have an hour for lunch!
Schwartzwald: Silence you lapdog of the break room!!!
---
Roger: Yeah, that Schwartzwald is really creepy.
Dorothy: Well Roger, you shouldn't throw stones.
Roger: What do you mean, Dorothy? I am not that bad!
Dorothy: Oh really? We shall see. Hit it!
---
Dorothy: **whispering** Sh, be very quiet. Point the camera there.
Camera Man: **whispering** Why that is Roger's Dressing Area.
Dorothy: **whispering** Sh! There he comes.
Roger: ** Talks to himself ** You think you are all it.
Roger: All you are is a talking toaster.
Roger: ** Looks both ways ** Well, here goes. ** Starts dressing **
Dorothy ** whispering ** My god, no!
** Roger in Dorothy's Maid Uniform **
Roger: ** Talks to the mirror** You are a louse, Roger Smith.
** Laughter erupts from Dorothy and the Camera Man **
Roger: It is not what you think!
Dorothy: Now I know why my costume feels stretched out all the time. You are one sick puppy.
---
Roger: What can I say?
Dorothy: Say that you will be in my uniform tonight!
Roger: Wha...

Excellent work everyone! Lady Tesser & Evan, that was too good! I love Captain Harlock and I loved the whole Lupin scene..Zenigata and Dastun..That is excellent!

Clone-Boy: My My that was something wasn't it
Dora:You know you're right smeghead our next clip...
Voice off stage: AH-HA I FINALLY FOUND IT!
(Camera pans and sees Schwartzvald satnding in the doorway holding a reel with his arms outstreched.)
Dora:*raises eyebrow* what on earth could you possibly find thats interesting, Conehead?
Schwartzvald: How dare you compare me a loathsome worm to the greatesactor of all time!?
Dora: and that is...
Schwartzvald: DAN AKROYD! Anyways I'vve found the Red-Bull Bloober Reel. THE TRUTH WILL BE KNOWN!! *laughs maniacly*
Dora* pulls out a cellphone*
Clone Boy: Who you gonna call? *answers his own question and starts signing Ghostbusters theme*
Dora:* puts phone away* I'm sorrounded by movie geeks. Angel youuu wouldn't happen to know how Schwartzcald found a reel would you?
Angel*steps in to studio hair is a mess and shirt is buttoned wrong looks nervous* Me of course not *laughs nervously* Uhhhh... I got go now see ya bye-bye *runs like the wind to exit*
Schwartzvald: You camera lapdog play this reel I say. Play it!
*camera man takes reel and puts it into the projector*

Screen shows old fashioned three two one. Screen title is...SCHWARTZVALD HOME VIDEOS.
Schwartzvald: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! TURN IT OFF!!!!!!!!! TURN IT OFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!
Security comes and holds Scwartzvald down and forces him to watch his movie
(in movie)Schwartzvald is in a tank top and boxer shorts (Anybody who has seen Johny English knows whats next ) He starts making muscle man poses and various poses that are humiliating. He then takes out a magazine and shows the cover it reads PLAYBOY and he shows the cover and the models head is replaced with a picture of Dora.
Dora: What the fudge!?
He then takes out a picture of Smeghead and starts tearing it to shreds with his teeth.
*after twenty minutes of humiliation the movie ends*
Everybody is on the floor rolling with laughter
poor Schwartzy is running with the reel screaming: NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! THHIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSS IIIISN'T HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!

Clone-boy: wipes a tear fom eye: Oh my God! I always new he wasn;t right in the cone. Whhew thats all for know please come back again.
Dora: Not for you it ain't. Come Here. *pulls clone-boy out of camera view*

P.S. that one has to be better then my last

** Episode 10, Daemonseed **

** Dorothy is conversing with Laura **

Laura: Would you like some tea?
Dorothy: Yes, but I don't need it though. I can't really taste it though.
** A moment later **
Laura: Here it is.
Dorothy: ** Sips it and spits it out ** What’s this crap? When I said that I can't really taste, I did not mean for you give me gutter water.
Director: ** Screams ** Cut!!!

** Another scene **
Oliver: How you would you like to buy this? ** Shows Roger the Daemonseed ** It's nice and shinny.
Roger: You know you shouldn't take the easy way out. It is not...
Dorothy: ** In a surly manner ** Roger, cut the crap! You are just a cheapskate.
Director: ** Screams ** Cut!!!
Roger: ** In an angry tone ** Oh yeah, when was the last time paid for gas?
Director: ** Screams ** Cut!!!
Dorothy: What did you call last night?
Director: ** Screams ** Shut the f**k up! I said cut!!!

quote:

Originally posted by Lady Tesser Hmm ... I may have been a bit heavy on innuendo at times. Gomen. (God, I feel old. A 15-year-old is calling me a child. )

Well, 16 now...
Shouldn't u be honored? You have someone so much younger calling you a child! It's like the foutain of youth! Only, it's nothing like the fountain of youth at all....

...

*noticed Rating in title*

... nice going! too bad i'm not good at making big o comedic, i'd type a blooper up...

Ouch. ^_^

* * *

(Dorothy has a hand-camera pointed at her face.)

Dorothy: Hey, folks. Welcome to the Big O cast and crew Christmas Party. It's about two hours into the party, half of the group is tanked, and Alex just brought out the kareoke machine. I need a bit of cash to buy a new pair of shoes, so I'm gathering some blackmail material together on my esteemed castmates.

(Camera turns around to the soundstage featured in the last few episodes. Not only is a kareoke machine set up, but Norman is wearing baggy jeans, dirty Blink-182 t-shirt, a leather vest, a backwards' baseball cap, and is spinning records in an impressive DJ set up. Currently playing is the Buggles' 'Video Killed the Radio Star'. Roger [in jeans and leather jacket] and Angel [in a red and gree holiday dress] are dancing drunkenly, while Alan and Schwarzwald [both still in their costumes] are having a Chug-a-Lug contest. Alex and Dastun are setting up the kareoke TV. Beck is passed out on a couch, head thrown back and mouth open, evidently having been visited by his favorite fangirl Unibasu. ^_^ Vera is already pasted out of her gourd because she is singing 'Let Me Entertain You' and is dancing around in her bra and dressy-skirt.)

Dastun: Think it's all set?
Alex: Yeah. Hey, Norman, here's the CD's for the kareoke stuff.
Norman (taking them): No prob, dude. Who's gonna embarrass themselves first?
Angel (getting up on stage): OOH! Kareoke! I LOVE kareoke! I wanna sing something!
Vera: Forget it, skinny tart, I'm ready for the music to play outside my head. (hip bumps Angel off-stage) Hey, Normy, got any Gloria Gaynor?

(Norman pops the CD in the player and the piano starts.)

Vera:
At first I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong and I learned how to get along -

(Alan jumps up on stage.)

Vera&Alan:
And now you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I'd've known for just one second you'd back to bother m

(Alex, Angel, and Roger begin throwing Christmas cookies at them.)

Alex: Boo!
Angel: Throw the bums offstage!
Roger: Take it off, Vera!

(Angel mallets Roger.)

Angel: She's already got her shirt off, don't encourage her!

(Vera and Alan go off stage, and Angel jumps up.)

Angel: Gimme some Aqua.

(Norman changes CD's. Beck snores.)

Norman: Come on, Barbie, let's go party! Hiya Barbie
Angel: Hi Ken
Norman: Do you wanna go for a ride?
Angel: Sure Ken.
Norman: Jump in.

Angel:
I´m a barbie girl
in a barbie world
Life in plastic
it´s fantastic.
You can brush my hair
undress me everywhere.
Imagination
life is your creation.

Norman: Come on Barbie, let's go party!

Angel:
I´m a blond bimbo girl
in a fantasy world
Dress me up
make it tight
I´m your dolly.

Norman:
You're my doll
rock´n´roll
feel the glamour in pink
Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky

Angel:
You can touch
you can play
if you say: "I´m always yours"

Roger: She can never be accused of being out of character.
Dastun: You are SOO dead when she hears that.
Vera: Toz zem oof stege!!! HIC!
Schwarzwald: Sing it, sister.
Dastun: Hey, Roger, why don't you sing something?
Roger (rolling eyes): You remember what happened the last time I sang? It was in the script for Deamonseed - I was supposed to sing 'Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire' -
Dastun: Your singing wasn't that bad - it was the fact you began singing 'Chipmunks roasting on an open fire' that got PETA after you.
Roger: See what I mean? And I'm pished, so God knows what going to come out of my mouth.
Datun: Go on up there. HEY, Norman! Play some Meat Loaf for Roger!

(Roger stumbles up on stage. A high beat rock song begins playing.)

Roger:
I remember every little thing
As if it happened only yesterday
Parking by the lake
And there was not another car in sight
And I never had a girl
Looking any better than you did
And all the kids at school
They were wishing they were me that night
And now our bodies are oh so close and tight
It never felt so good, it never felt so right
And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
C'mon! Hold on tight!
C'mon! Hold on tight!
Thought it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night
I can see paradise by the dashboard light

(Dorothy rushes up on stage and takes the other microphone, pushing both Angel and Vera out of the way and snarling at them. Beck continues to snore.)

Dorothy:
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed
'Cause we were barely seventeen
And we were barely dressed
Ain't no doubt about it
Baby got to go and shout it
Ain't no doubt about it
We were doubly blessed

Roger:
'Cause we were barely dressed
And we were barely dressed -

(Roger suddenly picks Dorothy up and dashes off the stage.)

Roger: New Meat Loaf song, Norman!
Dorothy: Roger, what the smeg are you doing??

(Norman skips ahead a few tracks.)

Roger:
When the wind is howling through your window pane
It's not the only pain of the night
Your burning up in your bed, you gotta fever of love
And there's not an antibody insight
Hey Dora, Dora why are you crying
There's a beauty of a moon in the sky
But I guess when you've been leading such a sheltered life
You never lift your head and look so high -

(Dorothy had grabbed up the camera as Roger takes off with her.)

Dorothy: Well, the new shoes can wait. (wraps her arms around Roger's neck and winks) Merry Christmas to MEEE!

Rest of the cast: And a Happy New Beer! *Vera falls into chair, unconcious*

OH GOD!!!
Vera in her underwear?
MY EYES!!! OH GOD THEY BURN!!!!!

That was one of the funniest things I've ever read. Freakin' amazing work!

** Laughing uncontrollably **
Aaah! CAN'T GO ON! NEED AIR! TELL MY FAMILY THAT I LOVE THEM!!!

** Dies **

*piku-piku* It was funny??

*reads*

Yeah, I guess Vera in her underwear is a funny idea.

I finally found out what happened to ep 26!

* * *

(The entire cast is in conference, all yelling and ranting. The concensus seems to be the outrage at Adult Swim's prgramming mistake.)

Vera: Vat sort of eencompetants do zey have vorking at Cartoon Netvork?
Dorothy: People who can't write labels.
Roger: This is smegged up! Our American fanbase is threatening to blow up the Williams' Street CN offices.
Norman: No point, the drunks at the party don't even remember what offenses they committed.
Dastun: Yeah, it was kinda weird they actually TAPED themselves being drunk. That's just begging for blackmail.
Angel: So what are we going to do to fix this? Where's episode 26?
Alan: I already got Andy on the AS boards explaining what's going on. Once it reaches Paradigm-City.com, the death threats should quiet down.
Schwarzwald: Except those stupid 'I-told-you-so' freaks. They'll never shut up.
Roger: Settle down, Mike. Anybody seen Alex? I think this would affect him.
Big Ear: He's been missing since last week.
Dorothy: Really? That's strange.

(A knock comes on the door and a woman with upswept black hair and wearing a black suit enters.)

Roxanne Smith (for it is she): Good morning all. I found the person who messed up the labels on tapes 20 and 26.
Norman: Who, madam?
Roxanne: Bring the smegger in, Dorian.

(Dorian Wayneright enters, his fingers pinching Alex Rosewater's ear.)

Dorian: Stop whimpering or I shall squeeze tighter.
Everyone: ALEX???!!!
Alex: Ow! You little robotic freak!
Roxanne: It seems Alex did not want his humilitation aired to the gleeful delight of Big O fans, so he broke into the video vault and put an illegible episode label on episode 20 to make it look like episode 26. The programmers grabbed the tape that looked like episode 26 and editing into the Adult Swim block without looking at what they were putting in, as is usual practice.
Roger: And this resulted in Cartoon Network getting the brunt of the blame.
Roxanne: Bingo! So, I brought him in and I'll collect my fee -
Vera: Vat fee?

(Dastun writes out a check and hands it to Roxanne. She looks over it.)

Roxanne: Tip, too. Why, thank-you, Daniel.
Dastun: Thanks for your help, Roxy.
Roxanne (pocketing check): Come on, Dorian, let's go back home.

(The Reciprocal Paradigm duo leaves. Angel punches Dastun's arm.)

Angel: Why did you hire Roxanne to do this?
Dastun: She doesn't have her own show yet, so she's sort of an outsider and is less biased about the show not airing.
Roger: Forget that. (cracks knuckles) Now, what are we going to do with happy-boy here for smegging up our last episode?
Vera (pulling out whip): I have my vays ...

(Alex whimpers in fear as the entire group dogpiles him.)

* * *

Heh. I guess Cartoon Network is off the hook. ^_^

quote:

Originally posted by Lady Tesser Roger: Forget that. (cracks knuckles) Now, what are we going to do with happy-boy here for smegging up our last episode? Vera (pulling out whip): I have my vays ... (Alex whimpers in fear as the entire group dogpiles him.)

Now that's a scene I'd like to see!