[Fan Fiction] The Big O Blooper Special!(Rated TV/PG-14/M)

That we gave them the powers of Gods? Wait, this is their board, of course they have the powers of Gods. ^_^;

And very good, Evan. You get Norma's special crumpets as a reward.

AHH!! Just the thing to go with noodles


...ok we can go back to bloopers now...My mind is empty so I'lll think of one later =_=;;

Fade back to Dorothy and Roger sitting in their chairs. Dorothy doesn't seem to notice that the top few buttons on the back of her dress are undone and her jabot is falling off.

Roger: Where can you find a butler like Norman?
Dorothy: Yes, he's one of a kind. James Bond, eat your heart out!

Cut to Norman standing on the stairs chuckling evilly as he shoots down another scorpion-bot. He looks down in alarm as the trigger clicks and he berates himself for running out of ammunition.

He gratefully catches the clip that Dorothy throws him and reloads his gun, but when he shoots at the scorpion-bot headed straight towards him, the concussion of the explosion sends him flying backwards over the railing. Suddenly, a line shoots up and hooks onto a the steel catwalk above and Norman's descent to certain death is averted.

Heedless of his own safety, he dangles from the line, shouting at Dorothy to run. He breathes a sigh of relief as the fist of the black Megadeus suddenly interposes itself between her and the scorpion-bots.

Dorothy begins her "I am what I am," soliloquy.

"What are you babbling about!" Norman screams in frustration. Two scorpion-bots descend from the ceiling. "Sons of bitches!" he pulls a pair of pistols from his pocket and shoots them."

"Norman, what did you just say?" Dorothy looks astonished.

"I've had enough of this! Get OVER here with me, woman!" Norman shouted at her.

Dorothy jumps up beside him, astonished.

Norman puts his arm around her. "Let's blow this popsicle stand, baby! Let Roger Smith clean up his own damned mess for a change!" Dorothy stands there speechless. "I mean it! I've got a nice little vacation spot where it's warm, sunny, and I don't have to deal with stupid robots attacking!" He reaches into his pocket and tosses a grenade at the nearest group.

"Norman, I never realized..." Dorothy begins.

"Well, I kept my mouth shut, but he isn't good enough for you! We're out of here!" His shoes suddenly ignite, lifting he and Dorothy off the ground. Fade as Roger stands looking up at them flying away.

Cut to a beach at sunset. The silhouettes of Norman and Dorothy can be seen. They are kissing.

Roger: (sarcastically) So, was it a nice vacation?
Dorothy: You're a fine one to talk! Did I say anything about those long walks on the beach that you took with Angel because she 'needed a friend'?
Roger: All right, all right, I'll drop it. But what has he got that I haven't got? (He looks sulky)
Dorothy: (Grabbing Roger's tie and pulling him towards her) I can't tell you, but I can show you...

Cut to commercial

Coming back from the commercials, we see that Roger and Dorothy have relocated to a large, wide, and very comfy couch.

Dorothy: This next bit is from one of my favorite episodes...unfortunately, all the reels of it mysteriously vanished before it could air.

Roger: Well, it wasn't exactly PG material.

Dorothy: That's beside the point. Anyway...here's our one surviving clip from "The Big O: Valentine's Day Special."

Roger: Wait...this isn't the...

Dorothy: *before Roger can object* Roll it!



(Fade to Dorothy standing on balcony as usual, looking out over Paradigm at dawn. There is a quiet *ahem*, and she turns to see Roger standing there in his robe and with one hand behind his back.)

Dorothy: Good. You're awake. Five more minutes and I would have been forced to start playing the piano again.

Roger: Umm...Dorothy...do you happen to know what today is?

Dorothy: Not really. Is it anything special?

Roger: Sorta...could you come here? I...have something to give you.

(Dorothy hops down off the railing and walks over to Roger, who mutters something under his breath)

Dorothy: What was that?

Roger: *quickly* Nothing. Here, Dorothy. *holds out boquet of roses and box of candy* Happy Valentine's Day.

Dorothy: *looks at both, then back at Roger* This isn't like you, Roger. *takes flowers and candy anyway*

Roger: Yea, well...he kinda forced me to do it...

Dorothy: Who did?

Norman: *from door* I did. I was getting tired with him avoiding the issue and decided that it was high time I took action.

Dorothy: How?

Norman: I beg your pardon?

Dorothy: How did you force him? Roger rarely does anything he does not feel he needs or wants to do.

Roger: *mutters something again*

Dorothy: *turns to Roger* What was that?

Roger: I SAID HE THREATENED TO PAINT BIG O PINK, ALRIGHT?? THERE, I SAID IT!!

(Dorothy just stares at Roger, who is obviously very annoyed. Her lower lip begins to quiver a bit.)

Norman: I keep a healthy supply of paint in various colors for whenever Master Roger needs additional persuasion.

(Dorothy can't suppress it anymore and breaks out laughing)

*clip ends*



(Camera shows back of couch, but Roger and Dorothy are nowhere to be seen. Then they both sit up, straightening their clothes again.)

Roger: I still say it wasn't that funny.

Dorothy: Well, you can't say that nothing good came of it. *smirks at him and winks*



^_^

(Very good, Jim. Welcome to the madness.)

* * *

(Schwarzwald runs in, looking around frantically.)

Schwarzwald: WHERE IS IT??
Dorothy: I don't know.
Roger: Me, neither.
Schwarzwald: [CENSORED] [CESNORED] [CENSORED]

(Norman comes out and slams a mallet into Schwarzwald, sending the madman through a wall.)

Roger: Thank you, Norman.
Norman: My pleasure. (goes off)
Dorothy: Think we should tell Mike the reel's in his cone?

(Roger thinks a minute.)

Roger: Nah.

* * *

(Clip of a group of fangirls giggling and jumping around nervously. Roger leaves the set to get some coffee and notices them.)

Roger: What's going on there?
Alan: Fangirls.
Roger: For who?
Alan: Probably Beck.

(Norman enters the soundstage and the fangirls rush over to him, demanding his autograph and such.)

Girl: WE LOVE YOU, NORMAN!

(Roger spits his coffee out in disbelief.)

Roger: No way, that's not right!
Alan: What isn't right, boy in black?
Roger: Look at that! They're all young enough to be his granddaughters!
Alan (grinning): Some ladies like a mature man. It means he knows what he's doing. (chuckles evilly) Eh, spring chicken?
Roger: Still not right ...

(Walks off. Dorothy joins Alan at the coffee pot.)

Dorothy: What's with Roger?
Alan: Feeling unloved because he doesn't have fangirls like Norman does.
Dorothy: Yeah, sounds like Roger. He doesn't even know I'm vice-president of the We Love Norman Fanclub.


(Alan starts to say something, but Dorothy slams her fist into the side of his face.)

Dorothy: Get your mind out of the gutter, clown freak.

Act:12
Roger:Big-O Showtime!
Everything goes along as planned Big Duo flies round the building and Big O gets roger in the cock pit until...
Big-O: Cast in the...um. wait no. Uh was it. no wait thats not it. Cast in the..uhhhhhh.
Director: Cut! whats going on this time. Dorothy did you sneak into Big-o again with Roger
Dorothy:
Big-O: does a little bow of apology. actualy I uh kinda forgot my lines.
Schwartzvald: Look Ma I'm fliing WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!(still in Big DUo
Director man: (sweat drop) somebody shoot me please. (Big-o still bowing and apologizing, Norman struggles to keep Dorothy away from Director with an anime mallet, and Schwartzvald sings "I'm an Oscar Myer Weiner" at the top of his lungs whle flying like a buffon)


Sorry its not all professionallike but its the best i can do right now. Big-O forgetting his lines

Act ?- Hydra
Battle Scene, Big O and Hydra Take one! *click*
Director: Ready? Aaaaaaaaand ACTION!
Big O and the hydra battle it out, then Big O gets out his missiles and shoots its head off. Nothing happens for a few seconds. Music stops.
Roger- Was that it? It was kinda short wasn’t it?
Director (taking off his cap and throwing it on the floor) - Awww horse****! You spoiled the surprise O! The thing was supposed to regenerate!
Robotic Expert (steam blowing through ears):You blew the f***ing fuse! The thing can’t regenerate anymore. Now what the hell are we supposed to do?
Big O looks around nervously as everyone angrily stares. He takes three small steps back as he fidgets his fingers.
Big O: Hey look guys (points up)! It’s Dora doing the striptease again! And with a pole this time!
Everyone looks as Big O turns quickly and runs in the opposite direction.

Act 4 - Underground Terror

(Roger and Dorothy are wandering through the tunnels, when they turn a corner and are suddenly confronted by a large, humanoid rat in a tattered robe and four human-shaped turtles. The two groups stare at one another for a minute.)

Splinter: Hmm......wrong set. Apologies. *bows to Roger*

Roger: Umm...uh, no problem...

Michaelangelo: Sorry 'bout that, dude...

(Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles turn around and walk off. Roger and Dorothy look at each other for a moment, shrug, and go back to looking for Schwarzwald.)



(It just came to me earlier tonight. Had to post it. ^_^)

<Back to DORA and CLONEBOY sitting on the comfy couch, actually in view of the camera - for once >

Dora: Those teenaged mutant ninja turtles certainly were strange!

Cloneboy: Yeah, but not as strange as this next clip!

<Act 22: Hydra. Inside ROGER'S mansion, ANGEL stands soaking wet, facing DOROTHY. ANGEL approaches DOROTHY, placing her hands on DOROTHY'S shoulders.>

Angel: I know you don't like me, Dorothy...but I like you.

<There is a slight pause. ANGEL turns to leave. Suddenly, DOROTHY leaps foward.>

Dorothy: <overly dramatic, throwing herself into ANGEL'S arms.> Do you REALLY?! Oh Angel, darling, you've made me so happy!!!

Angel: ....Whaaaat?!?

Dorothy: Oh Angel...I DO like you! I've always liked you! I've only ever wanted you! Oh darling!

Angel: I..I don't understand...What about Roger?!

Dorothy: <laughing> Oh, you mean that LOUSE?! PLEASE! I only stuck around that loser to get closer to yoooooooooou, my darling.

Angel: <blushing, but ultimately smiling> ...Really? Well I...I didn't have any idea...I thought you hated me!

Dorothy: <placing a finger over ANGEL'S lips as if to quiet her.> Let us not speak of such things ever again, my love.

<Suddenly, from offstage, we hear lots of shouting and things falling and presumably breaking. ROGER bursts onto the scene, practically foaming at the mouth.>

Roger: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!

Dorothy: <clinging to ANGEL protectively> You cannot stop true love, Roger Smith!

Roger: Is this some sort of demented joke?! You two are INSANE!

Angel: Insane with LOVE!

<ROGER rolls his eyes. >

Dorothy: <To ANGEL> Come! Let us leave this place together, and go where we can live out our days in eternal bliss, free from the tyranny of Paradigm, and Roger Smith's terrible taste in fashion!

Roger: HEY!!

Angel: <grasping DOROTHY'S hands in her own, crying out mellodramatically> Yes! Let us fly, my darling! Never shall we be oppressed by dreadful men who insist on wearing all black again!

Roger: Alright, I've had enough!

<ANGEL and DOROTHY break out into fits of uncontrollable laughter as ROGER stomps past them towards the camera and the unsuspecting cameraman.>

---

<We cut back to our hosts. DORA is snickering and CLONEBOY is sitting smugly, his arms crossed.>

Dora: Oh come on, sweetiecakes, that WAS pretty funny.

<CLONEBOY mutters something unintelligable under his breath.>

Dora: Oh you're no fun, you know that?

Cloneboy: You two have problems....

Dora: I'll show you problems! <Grabs CLONEBOY and pulls him back down out of sight of the camera.>

Norman sneaks onto the set, discreetly stepping over the hosts.

"Since our reglarly scheduled hosts seem ... preoccupied ... it falls to me to continue the show." He waves toward the crew. "ROLL 'EM!"

**************

A bored tinny voice recies; "Roger Smith Big O Commercial Voiceover, Take one."

Roger cleares his throat and begins; "I'm Roger Smith, and when Evil threatens the city, my Instrument of Justice rises up and I give the villains a taste of the Big O!" He goggles at the script and angrily demands, "WHO WROTE THIS DRECK?!"

The soundman points behind Roger. "The trampy blonde."

Roger spins around. "ANGEL?!"

"Oh yes, Roger," she says with a husky voice. "I've been a very bad girl!" She wraps her arms around him and cries out, "Let your Instrument of Justice rise up and slam me with that giant piston action! Let me know the power of the Big O! YES! YES!"

Roger responds by making sqwaking noises and trying to wriggle away.

A blast of water hits both of them, slamming them into a wall. The camera pans over and shows Dorothy holding a firehose.

"Pathetic," she says. "There's more to a man than having a huge Megadeus."

Angel gets up and spits out the excess water. "Some girls like a man with a big robot, little girl. A small robot just doesn't have the capacity."

"That's because you spent all of your youth going after any man who had any sort of robot at all. Now you're jaded and need the stimulation of a large robot to feel anything." Dorothy smiles. "However, those of us who are picky can get a loving man who uses his robot properly."

"And how would you know?" Angel runs up to Dorothy. "He let you handle his robot?!"

"I've done a great deal more than 'handle' his robot."

Angel jumps up and down, pulling at her hair and making incoherent noises.

Roger, meanwhile, has gotten a towel and a hot cocoa. "Are they talking about what I think they're talking about?"

The soundman shrugs. "I don't pass judgment, pal. I just record."

*Back with the hosts*

Dorothy: Everyone loves blonde jokes

Roger: Except blondes

Dorothy: I love it when blonde joke come up. You can't help but like 'um.

Roger: Not when you're the only blonde on the show. Roll 'em Steve (random camera man name)
--------------------------------------------
*Right before the enter Tim Wayneright's house (ep. 15)*

Dorothy: You know Roger it's been a while since we made our last bet.

Roger: You know you're right Dorothy. How bout betting about whether or not Angel's a natural blonde.

Dorothy: Fine then, if you win then I dress up in my maid uniform. WIth the cleaning supplies and everything. If I win then, I get a few new brooms.

Roger: You drive a hard bargin Dora-girl, but okay, I'll go with it.

Dorothy: That bleach blonde better be a bleach blonde.

*Cut to Scene where Dorothy's on the Magnet and Angel is so conviently there*

Dorothy: So Angel, I've been meaning to ask you something.

Angel: Go ahead, I'm all ears.

Dorothy: Are you a natural blonde?

Angel: WHAT!? How dare you insinuate (sp) that I, Angel, use bleach to color my beautiful natural blondeness!!!!

Dorothy: Just asking, don't have a hyernia.

Angel: *starts talking to hair* It's okay my precious, she didn't mean it. Who's the prettiest hair in Paradigm City? You are, yes you are.

Roger: *thinking* I win the bet. MUHAHAHAH!!!!! *speaking* Ahem, well I think it's all clear now...

Dorothy: Yep, she's a natural blonde alright.

-------------------------------------

Dorothy: I ended up losing that bet. But we finally got to the bottom of the blondeness factor of Angel.

Roger: The camera's stopped rolling just when she started singing to her hair

Angel: *pops out of no where* have any of you seen my brush. My precious hair has a tangle in it.

Roger & Dorothy: *point to the left*

Angel: Thanks. *starts talking to hair* It's pkay, we'll get that nasty little tangle out my dearest. I won't let you suffer any more.

ROTFLMAO

You are all geniuses!

*Zola gives the last set of authors a standing ovation*

Mistress of Angel Blonde Jokes - angelcakes! ("My precious! My blonde precious!")

That was great!

*bows* Thank you, thank you. There's more where that came from...

--------------------------------------

Roger: So we got to the bottom of that, but what about that time when...

Dorothy: *chuckles* You're right they should see that. Hey Steve, roll it.

-------------------------------------

Angel: Do you think our relationship will change.

Roger: It already has. *pulls her into tight embrace*

Roger: *looks at hair and pulls away*

Angel: Roger, whats wrong.

Roger: I hate to say it Angel...

AngeL: What, you don't love me. You are in a fling with you're butler? You and that andriod are...

Roger: No none of that, it's just that...

Angel: Is the sky falling? Did Vera grow wings? Did Dorothy ever get her broom?

Roger: NO!!! The thing is that well, I think you got a gray hair.

Angel: NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! How can I, the person with the most beautiful blonde hair in the world, have a gray hair. This is worse than Vera growing wings. WAHHHHH!!!!!

Roger: Um, Angel.

Angel: *continues to cry about hair*

Roger: Hey Angel.

Angel: This is worse than the time Norman tried to hit on me.... no this is worse than the time Vera tried to hit on me...

Roger: *scare out of mind*

*Dorothy appears and slaps Angel*

Dorothy: Calm down women.

Angel: *in tears* But my hair...

Roger: Angel, I was going to say that it was a gray thread.

Angel: What a relief... wait a minute, THERE WAS SOMETHING IN MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOO!!!! How did it get there!? *glares at Dorothy* You did it didn't you... you... you... not nice person.*starts to cry again* The world is over!!!!!

---------------------------------

Dorothy: Remind me again why we keep her on the show.

Roger: The writers said they needed a blonde or the ratings would plument.

Dorothy: Oh yeah, damn them and their ratings.

Watch it children, I believe we've passed the PG-13 mark, and are nearly into the R Zone!
Not that I mind but I don't want this topic to be deleted or anything.

Hmm ... I may have been a bit heavy on innuendo at times. Gomen.

(God, I feel old. A 15-year-old is calling me a child. )

* * *

ep 25: scene with Angel, Vera, and Gordon in studio, between takes

Angel: Do we have to do that creepy whip scene? I hate doing this fan service crud.
Vera: Tell me about it, dear. I went into acting so I wouldn't have to use whips anymore.
Gordon (eyes wide): Mistress Helga, it IS you!

(Vera and Angel look at Gordon, then edge away.)

Vera: I have no idea what he's talking about, he's a senile old man, my name's Emmy-Sue, and I am an accountant.
Roger (offstage): Everybody's gotta have a hobby, Corkscrew Curls!
Vera: Shut up, Funky Eyebrow Boy!
Angel: Excuse me, I'm going to go read 'Chicken Soup for the Soul' in my trailer.

Well, I know I am not a good writer, or even a decent one. I just had to try this one out.

Roger: Dorothy... Norman... Geez, you can never find them when you need them.

** Noise from the kitchen **

Dorothy: Roger must never know of this...

Norman: Dorothy, I am suprised at you. You know Roger is a very adventerous person.

Dorothy: True. However, I don't think he would like what we are doing here. He may think it was vile.

Roger: ** Thinking ** What could they be doing? Nah, it couldn't be...

Dorothy: What are you doing?

Norman: I am smearing it with butter. Why, don't you like it. Here take a stick and help me.

Dorothy: Yes... Oh yes... I can see why this would be considered enjoyable.

Roger: ** Thinking ** What! Norman and Dorothy? No, it just can't be...

Dorothy: Norman, why do you have your World Famous nuts in your hand.

Norman: It is my secret weapon.

Dorothy: I don't think this is going work out.

Norman: Dorothy, you say no but your eyes scream YES. Know, open up you...

Dorothy: No, this is not right! I beg you, don't stuff my ...

Roger: ** Bursts in ** Norman stop!!! How dare you!

Dorothy: turkey. Norman, I told you the Roger does not like Walnut Stuffing with his Turkey.

............O.o;;;;;............
WTF?!?!?! O_O;;;;

AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! IT BURNS!!!! >_<
*schwarzwald appears*
Schwarzwald- I could help you with that you know
Me- o.o;;; *RUNS!*
Schwarzwald- HEY!?! Don't you want to borrow my lighter?

quote:

Originally posted by tvperez Dorothy: turkey. Norman, I told you the Roger does not like Walnut Stuffing with his Turkey.

*Zola immediately crowns tvperez "The King of Innuendo"*

Don't insult your writing like that, it wasn't bad at all and it was VERY funny.

Thank you Zola. You are too kind. Being a SW Engineer, I tend to write everything like Stero Instructions.