4th of July: The American Way

Patsai 07-02-2007 11:40 PM
(The following info was pulled off from this month's The Average Guy stastics. Sorry ladies...)


Percentage of men who are proud to be American: 93

Percentage who admit to having felt ashamed or embarrassed by their country at least once: 39

Number of American men who would like to live in another country: 1 in 4
Their top choice: Canada
Runners-up: Australia, England, Italy

Percentage who say football rules as America's pastime: 43

How the average guy ranks America's proudest moments:
1. Defeating the British in the Revolution
2. Conquering Hitler
3. Landing on the moon

The most shameful chapter: Repression of Native Americans

Number of men who shoot off their own fireworks: 1 in 2
Number who have been injured in the process: 1 in 5
Number who attend a fireworks display on or around the Fourth: 4 in 5

America's most explosive Fourth of July shows:
1. New York City (30,000 shells)
2. Boston (10,000 shells)
3. Albuquerque (6,500 shells)

Tons of carbon dioxide barbecues emit on the Fourth: 248,020

Percentage of men who can't sing the national anthem at ball games because they don't know the words: 48

Food and drink the average guy says is the most American: A Hamburger and a coke.
Runners-up: A hod dog and a cold Budweiser

Percentage of men who say the French-built Statue of Liberty is our most inspirational monument: 42

Percentage who believe it's very important to buy "Made in the USA" good: 29

Percentage who don't know what the American motto "E pluribus unum" means: 25
Its translations: Out of many, One.

Type of historical American figure the average guy would like to be: A wild west cowboy.

His favorite historical political figure: Ronald Reagan

Number of men who say Gov. Schwarzenegger would make a solid president: 1 in 4

Speaking of legal immigrations, percentage of men who would like the United States to hang a "No Vacancy" sign: 13

Number of men who claim they could correctly label all 50 states on a balnk map: 3 in 4.
Best place to test yourself: http://www.sheppardsoftware.com/web_games.htm

Number of men who live in the town where they were born: 1 in 4

Where the average guy would love to live: California
Runner-up: Florida

Number of states the average guy has visited: 20

Beach Boys' girls the average guy digs most: Southern girls, with the way they talk.
Runner-up: Midwest farmers' daughters.

Order in which the average guy ranks the big three:
1. God
2. Family
3. Country
Wazpy 07-02-2007 11:44 PM
1 in every 2 men do not launch their own fireworks... that would be out of control if it were true...
Patsai 07-02-2007 11:47 PM
People do it all the time back in Wisconsin. It was legalized in Minnesota some time ago, and people drove 30 miles into Wisconsin to buy fireworks.
Wazpy 07-02-2007 11:51 PM
Well, I live in New York City... the idea of well over 1,000 private fireworks displays coming from every building is absurd.

I've lived in the suburbs too, where at most I would hear 2 or 3 private events.

1 in 2 is much too much. I would say 1 in 5 at the very best...
Pie_Junkie 07-03-2007 12:14 AM
Wow, I thought everyone set off they own fire works. We do every year.
The Baker St. Irregular 07-03-2007 02:24 AM
D00d, here in Illinois, we don't need fireworks. We got Snap Pops. Oh, yeah.
Chitter-Box-Kat 07-03-2007 04:00 AM
Well, I live in NYC. I can't even buy sparklers. SPARKLERS. They don't even do anything! They're sticks with itty-bitty fireworks on one end.

One day, I'm gonna buy fireworks out of state and have some fun.

But yeah, it's the 4th in the middle of the week. How messed up is that?
Pie_Junkie 07-03-2007 01:12 PM
Best state I've found for buying firworks is Lousisana, they have 'em all year 'round at 711s and such.
X Prime 07-03-2007 01:40 PM
I'm interested in where these bullsh** statistics were pulled.

Percentage of men who can't sing the national anthem at ball games because they don't know the words: 48

Percentage who don't know what the American motto "E pluribus unum" means: 25
Its translations: Out of many, One.

I SEVERELY doubt these two are by any means right side-by-side.
Nine Kuze 07-03-2007 02:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by X Prime
quote:
Percentage of men who can't sing the national anthem at ball games because they don't know the words: 48

Percentage who don't know what the American motto "E pluribus unum" means: 25
Its translations: Out of many, One.


I SEVERELY doubt these two are by any means right side-by-side.

I think you probably wanted a quote there or something, Xy-poo.

And he's right. I'm not sure about the "quality" of these stats either (Average Guy monthly, hurm...). Praticially, I don't know anyone who doesn't know the words of the national anthem or or doesn't know what "E pluribus unum" means, and those are high percentages for both. Besides if you don't know, then bad form. Bad form.

quote:
Type of historical American figure the average guy would like to be: A wild west cowboy.

What? Where the hell is the gangster illegally bootlegging in Prohibition Chicago in the 1920's? Come on, a damn cowboy?

Oh and are fireworks that hard to buy in different places in the US? You can get them without that much of a hassle up here in Michigan.
Peace.
Patsai 07-03-2007 02:48 PM
The Average Guy is a Men's Health magazine statistic they run every month in their issues. I don't subscribe to them, one of my suitemates does, but every once in a while I'll just skim through a magazine when I'm bored (I subscribe to EGM). It was on the very last page, so it was the first thing that caught eye, and it was interesting enough to post here.

As for if these stastics are right or not is really beyond me. You'll have to do your own research for that. I just posted these because it seemed an interesting way to celebrate the 4th. MH is a very popular magazine because the information they provide is very reliable to people who need them, which is why here on base they have them available in lobbies, especially at the medical squadron. It's going to be a challenge to try and prove them wrong unless a recent study or research changes its results to the public, which they keep up-to-date.
Sharpshooter005 07-04-2007 07:40 PM
quote:
Percentage of men who can't sing the national anthem at ball games because they don't know the words: 48


I've always wanted to learn the words to "to anachreon in heaven" and substitute them..why is our national anthem set to the tune of the patron song of some goddamn group of british amateur musicians. Why isn't it battle hymn of the republic. Why am I the only one who understands why thats a better choice.

...I'm glad (later general) Daniel E. Sickles shot Francis Key's kid. Screw that song, battle hymn of the republic is what it should be changed to. Everytime I look at my cat who is named Sickles I laugh dammit.

edit: I also laugh cause...I named a cat after Sickles thats pretty insane, I mean...if you know who sickles is, and also it's a female cat, it's pretty weird but everyone who gets it thinks its awesome

edit2:
quote:
What? Where the hell is the gangster illegally bootlegging in Prohibition Chicago in the 1920's?


Well..if you've seen deadwood the 1870s became awesome again partially due to it, it made the 1870s seem cool again.

My question is, could you be a rumrunner who also has a colt single action army..I mean what, some of them had to have had them, hell, PATTON had two of them...so if you could be both a '20s gangster with a tommy gun and a single action army this would combine the best of both those things
Wazpy 07-04-2007 10:24 PM
I'd rather be a cowboy than a bootlegger.

Cowboys do what they want and don't answer to nobody they don't want to answer to. They travel the country doing manual labor for minimum wage, which I find to be many times more badass than working in an office. Also, they love harmonicas.

Bootleggers are little weasels who hide from the law and work hard all day. Why would I want that?
Sharpshooter005 07-04-2007 10:36 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Wazpy
I'd rather be a cowboy than a bootlegger.

Cowboys do what they want and don't answer to nobody they don't want to answer to. They travel the country doing manual labor for minimum wage, which I find to be many times more badass than working in an office. Also, they love harmonicas.

Bootleggers are little weasels who hide from the law and work hard all day. Why would I want that?


Cowboys pretty much just hearded cattle, yes, they did answer to people. What you and everyone else including me would want to be is some sheriff who plays by their own rules (but they get results DAMMIT)

Whereas tearing across one of the frozen great lakes dodging g-men to pick up booze from canucks then tearing back across, again evading g-men just to deliver it to some speakeasy and also you're armed is even more anarchic. In fact, screw the great lakes, why deal with those marxist canadians...be one of the east coast rum runners who had to go into international waters, and had to dodge the coast guard, and sometimes they'd arm their boats.

I mean then a BOAT gets involved, and I love those. So hell screw both the gangster and cowboy thing I'd want to go around in a boat loaded with booze and possibly a .30 caliber machinegun (hell screw the general zeitgeist, give me a boat loaded with whiskey and a .30 caliber machinegun mounted on it in the present day and age and I'd be fine..except it'd have to be a sailboat cause motorboats stopped being sort of cool along the way, it could have a motor, a jet engine infact, but it would need sails. Jet engines just a backup)
Wazpy 07-04-2007 11:47 PM
Please. Haven't you ever watched a cowboy show? If a cowboy finds his boss immoral, he's outta there, probably after beating him up. Poverty or not. Cowboys don't answer to nobody they don't like.

Gangster sounds like an awful lot of work. I'm much too lazy to deal with people. I'd rather play by my own rules doing manual labor out in the wild than play by my rules while constantly hiding because so many people want me dead.
Sharpshooter005 07-05-2007 03:45 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Wazpy
Please. Haven't you ever watched a cowboy show? If a cowboy finds his boss immoral, he's outta there, probably after beating him up. Poverty or not. Cowboys don't answer to nobody they don't like.


Those weren't about cowboys, you're confusing them with sheriffs again.

Except Bonanza, and that was..they were like landowners or something who really got off on acting as the de-facto law and order in the region despite pretty much just being landowners with alot of free time
Wazpy 07-05-2007 06:12 PM
Nah, I'm not talking about sherrifs. I'm talking about guys who herd cattle and chop wood. I've watched enough junky 60's westerns to know what I'm talking about. Take the Magnificant Seven, for example. Those guys weren't Sherrifs. They were all poor slobs working dead end jobs, but they gave them up to work for crap money because they believed in something (Protecting the Mexicans).

That's the kidna guy I would want to be.
Sharpshooter005 07-09-2007 12:16 AM
You could have just said "I want to be a vigilante" since what you basically described is a vigilante.

Nobody would have thought less of you for it...or I wouldn't have...and really anyone who would have just dosen't comprehend it, they're maybe not too focused on the big picture and whatnot.
Wazpy 07-09-2007 12:35 AM
Vigilante is not their profession or hobby. They don't wander around looking for trouble. The wander around looking to earn a few dollars to spend on beans. They're just regular joes working out west who are willing to temporarily set aside their work to stand up for themselves and kick some ass.
Sharpshooter005 07-09-2007 01:25 AM
You just said they stood up for "the mexicans" (I haven't actually seen magnificant seven, or if I have it's been a long while) so...that sort of implies its some cause which is external to them personally which they just sort of decide to champion and further.

Also again, having not seen the movie, I assume part of said furtherance involves wandering around employing intimidation and/or violence on those they deem wrong and antithetical to said cause, which is...at least sort of vigilantism.