CSI: Miami is pretty much the most surreal thing I've seen since 12 oz mouse.

Sharpshooter005 05-01-2007 12:47 PM
Direct your attentions to this, as well as the other linked clips of the week(s)

Admittedly I never watched the original series this is spun off from (with the exception of the episode where a guy shoots a furry, and the cops just let him go under the reasoning that said furry looked like a coyote, and also it's a furry who cares) so....what is this? Is it always like...well...like that.

I mean is it playing itself for laughs or is the production team actually going "Okay and then he'll remove his glasses, say something, then put them right back on. Thats COMPELLING". The impression I'm getting is this show just sort of exists in its own weird little universe where exploding cars and david carusoe dramatically pausing while delivering one liners are just sort of routine activities. Which is weird since...wait, yeah wasn't the whole csi gimmick inaccurate forensic science and cameras which can enhance things far beyond any camera ever designed by man or god. Oh, also, 3d models derived entirely from a speck of dust.

Really. This is weirding me out and I feel compelled to know these things suddenly.
Inigo Montoya 05-01-2007 01:15 PM
Because CSI: Miami takes place in the Marvel Universe. EVERYTHING explodes. Didn't you know that?
Big Money 05-01-2007 04:14 PM
Originally posted by The Dungeon Master
Because CSI: Miami takes place in the Megaman Universe. EVERYTHING explodes. Didn't you know that?

Even the rocks.
Mike 05-01-2007 08:27 PM
CSI the original is cool, even though it's super-unrealistic because crime lab technicians carry guns and make arrests, while the one actual detective character just roughs suspects up in the interrogation room. Which the crime lab technicians do half the time too.

I've only seen Miami a couple times but...yeah. It's pretty crazy. I saw this one where this woman who always looked like she was about to go on to a photo shoot killed her husband, or something, but they couldn't pin it on her and she basically said "I killed him, but you can't prove it, screw you"
Nine Kuze 05-02-2007 11:51 AM
First, I'm not watching and/or clicking that link. I'm allegric to YouTube bullsh** now.

Also, yeah CSI Miami is like the worst of the three. I can't even knock on CSI: NY because that has Gary Sinese... and I've never even watched it or know anyone who has watched it as well. Entertainment Weekly doesn't count.

Look, David Caruso's "mysterious, cool guy act" is getting damn old. You're not James Dean, and you can't go through a whole season just taking off your glasses in a dramatic fashion, saying a quirky pun and solving the case before the second commercial break. Every episode I see, that's exactly what happens. And the rest of the cast... how f***ing boring are they? They are even people, just mostly a moving part of the background and weak plot devices. Really, can anybody remember anyone from the cast other than Caruso? Didn't think so.

Also the original CSI was alright at first but now, its just so unrealistic and takes away from the viewing aspect of actually being apart of the action and plot. Unlike say... Law and Order maybe? Yeah, that's right CSI. Ask about me. I don't even remember the last time I watched it. And the two different storylines in the same episode? Really, you clearly don't have the creativity to pull this off yet they still keep going with it. It's... insulting to watch actually.

Going back to CSI: Miami, its kind of hard to care about these so called "victims" when all they are a superficial and ignorant assholes who do nothing but model and walk around in Miami Beach. The last episode of Miami I watched was about two male models who were competing against each other to get the top spot in their agency. At a stop light, one model got out of the car because they thought it was stalling. It didn't stall and when one male model was looking at the headlight or something, the other model driving drove right into his head. And then the boss of the modeling agency was involved somehow because she was murdering her partner with poison lipstick, like Poison Ivy in Batman and Robin. And no, I didn't make that last part up.
Mike 05-02-2007 12:43 PM
Ok. I watched that clip.

What the hell? How does driving a car into the desert (and last time I checked, Miami was an insanely humid *swamp*) and blowing it up while walking away in slow motion solve a crime?
Sharpshooter005 05-02-2007 03:52 PM
David Caruso's "mysterious, cool guy act" is getting damn old.

Whats funny is his character on NYPD blue from what I remember was just like this...thuggish hot-headed detective type who was then fired in disgrace.

So I think csi: miami should end with the entire series turning out to be a dream of that character, whos now working as like a mall security guard

What the hell? How does driving a car into the desert (and last time I checked, Miami was an insanely humid *swamp*) and blowing it up while walking away in slow motion solve a crime?

Someone explained to me the context of this.

Yeah apparently they'd figured out the car was rigged with a bomb, so instead of...you know...getting the bomb squad, a squad of police whos main duty is handling explosives, he for whatever reason drives it onto a beach and allows it to detonate.

Mike 05-02-2007 08:40 PM
Sharpshooter005 05-02-2007 09:14 PM
I completely lost it at the 6 minute mark where the grenade blast somehow causes a guy to do a superman looking pose in flight, then it cuts to carusoe just sort of looking bewildered.

edit: Also the modulated voice and needless transition to black and white.