[Fan Fiction] A Star Wars fan fic

Mike 06-09-2006 10:43 PM
Okay. So the people who are in charge of Star Wars novels/comics have totally taken an awesome franchise and turned all the major characters into idiots whose deeds are worthless. So I decided to write a fanfic that not only isn't crappy, but shows things from another side.

So, here it is.

Jak Ranson sat in the window seat of the hovertrain, ignoring the HoloNet game show on the car’s front screen, same as he did every morning. Riding the same train along the same route to the same secondary school that he had been doing for three years out of the total 18 he had spent on Corulag. For the past three weeks his history class had been studying the Clone Wars: that epic battle, started by aliens trying to overthrow the Republic, secretly aided by the Jedi. Emperor Palpatine himself was nearly a casualty of the war when four of the old Masters tried to assassinate him, but luckily Palpatine’s life was saved at the last moment by Darth Vader, a Jedi who had seen through the deception of the Jedi and rushed to the rescue. Vader went to the Jedi Temple and destroyed the traitorous “Knights”, then the leaders of the Separatists. The conflict showed the whole of the galaxy that the old Republic had become weak and ineffectual, and at the twilight of the Clone Wars Palpatine rebuilt the shattered government into the Galactic Empire, bringing peace and prosperity to the Core Worlds. He saved the galaxy, all by himself, and was a legend in his own time.


But everyone already knew this. Little kids on all the Empire’s worlds grew up hearing stories about how Palpatine had saved humanity from enslavement at the hands of species like slimy Neimoidians and bug-like Geonosians. Still, Jak found the stories of the loyal Grand Army of the Republic fighting the Separatists and saving the galaxy from the evil Jedi. The fight against the Rebellion reminded him a little of the old wars, and Jak wished that he could somehow take part in it. He wanted to spread the Emperor’s goodwill across the galaxy to uncivilized planets, and to punish those who defied the Empire. One day he would be able to. His homeworld was one of the crown jewels of the Galactic Empire and boasted many military academies and training facilities. Jak hoped to submit his application to the academies before the end of the term. He dreamed about being a TIE pilot, or a Stormtrooper in their gleaming white armor, or working on one of the grand starships in the Imperial Navy.


“We’re sorry to interrupt your regularly-scheduled programming for this breaking news report.” Jak turned to the screen at the front of the train car. Instead of seeing a Gammorean trying to scale a slippery 15-meter wall there was a news anchor sitting behind a desk. A fairly attractive female anchor, he had to admit, her brown hair pulled back into a ponytail and her ice blue eyes seeming to pierce through him. But it was what she said that really got his attention.


“It is truly a sad day for the whole of the Empire and the galaxy. Despite the valiant efforts of Lord Darth Vader, Grand Moff Tarkin, charged with bringing Emperor Palpatine’s New Order to the lawless Outer Rim, has been assassinated by Rebel terrorists.”
What?Tarkin…He was the one who pleaded with the Rebels at Alderaan. They refused to shut down the weapon they built there and it misfired, destroying the whole planet. I’d seen him on the HoloNet. He was a great man, how could anybody kill him?
“Even more saddening is the collateral damage. Governor Tarkin was aboard a training station at the time of his murder. The lives of over one and a half million Imperial military and civilian personell, along with their droids and alien workers were eradicated just so the despicable Rebels could eliminate one man.”


If his jaw could reach the floor, it would have. Nobody on the train was able to speak. Tarkin? Dead? And Vader wasn’t able to help him? How could that even be possible? Do the Rebels have some kind of new secret weapon? He felt as if he had been hit in the stomach with a piece of structural durasteel.
“We do not have holograms of the beings who perpetrated this heinous plot, but we do have those of their ships.”
On the screen appeared three ships. The first had two engines, with a cockpit on the end of a central body. The whole thing looked as if it was made of the pieces of seven or eight downed starfighters, and Jak wondered how it remained in one piece. The next had four wings, arrayed in an X shape, with long cannons at the end of each wing and at the center a long, streamlined fuselage. Jak had heard of these ships. Unlike the earlier one, called a “Y-Wing”, this “X-Wing” was actually able to do damage to Imperial fighters, but it was still no match for the Empire’s superior technology.
Then the third ship appeared. It had the shape of a saucer, bulging top and bottom, with two prongs pointing out of the front and a cockpit off to one side. Like the first ship, it appeared to have been cobbled together and was probably kept intact by nothing more than glue. The guy who owns that thing couldn’t hope to hide out anywhere. That ship is such an eyesore that it would stick out like a Wookiee among humans.


The train stopped at Jak’s usual stop. He didn’t get off. Four stops later, it arrived at the Corulag Academy. He ran outside, into the lobby. At the reception desk was a man wearing a black bodysuit, boots, gunbelt, and flak vest. On his head was a helmet that looked like half of a black egg split lengthwise.
“I want to join. Right now. I want to wipe the scum of the Rebellion off of the galaxy with my boot heel.”
Jim Starluck 06-10-2006 12:05 AM
Two things:

First, use the enter key some more. A huge, solid block of text is rather intimidating to a reader.

Second, isn't propoganda fun?
Mike 06-10-2006 12:08 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Jim Starluck
Two things:

First, use the enter key some more. A huge, solid block of text is rather intimidating to a reader.

Second, isn't propoganda fun?


I typed it in word and...yeah I realize that it is a wall of text. I'll work on it.

And yes, propaganda kicks ass.
Generalissimo D 06-10-2006 12:09 AM
That's actually quite good. Makes the bad guys seem more reasonable.

But yeah, enter key.
Revan 06-10-2006 04:12 AM
Excellent, I like the way we see the events of the films from the Imperial's view. Keep it up! Big Grin
SEELE 08 06-10-2006 04:18 AM
Pretty good, I'm usually leery about Star Wars fanfics but this was a cut above. And I've seen some scary stuff in my time...Eva/Star Wars cross overs. Keel and Rei are....SITH LORDS! Phear their m4d Sith sk1llz. But I have to agree the story from the imperial point of view is refreshing and entertaining. More Please!
Wingnut 06-10-2006 08:48 AM
Nice. I'm used to blocks of this length wheneven I read a solid Gundam fanfic.
Haveing immersed myself in the Imperial view of things before by playing TIE Fighter many times and becomeing one of the Emperor's most trusted allies in the Dark side of the Force I can see the POV of young Mr. Ranson quite well.
Mike 06-10-2006 02:53 PM
Thanks everyone.

first: TIE Fighter was an amazingly awesome game. It pisses me off so much that it required some arcane kind of RAM that computers don't use anymore, and the updated version of the game is almost impossible to find.

Second: Yeah I know most fanfiction sucks tremendous amounts of ass. Especially the crossover ones where one side either smashes the other without having to try, or really stupid crap happens.

Third: I haven't decided exactly where Jak will end up yet. Either a Stormtrooper (yes I know, clones, but by this time they were mostly recruits) or a fighter pilot (but depicting a dogfight in words is hard) or a ship crewman person (which is how I'll probably go) Either way, the point is to show the other side of the war through beer goggles...I mean propaganda goggles.
Mike 06-11-2006 09:47 PM
The past six months had been a blur of activity. Training, drilling, more training, more drilling, almost nonstop. But it had been worth it. Finally, Jak Ranson was a Liutenant in the Imperial Navy. He was a little short for a Stormtrooper, and he didn't really want to die in some horribly painful way on a backwater mudball nobody had ever heard of. He could have been a starfighter pilot, but he knew that TIE fighters were little more than tin cans with guns on them and he also knew that their pilots were trained to know that they were expendable, and their average lifespan was two engagements. No, Jak - now Lt. Ranson - got to play with the big ships. There weren't many women in the Navy, or in any branch of the Imperial military. They were considered a distraction, but there was always shore leave.

He was one of the 37,000 crew members on board the Imperial Class Star Destroyer Unstoppable. Jak looked across the landing bay at the enlisted men, the mechanics and soldiers who had little to no chance of advancement. No, Jak was an officer, able to really reach out an touch enemies of the Empire, in charge of Port-Side Medium Turbolaser Turret # 42, and it was his job to destroy hostile starfighters and small ships. He longed to be able to man one of the huge, eight-barreled turrets on the top of the ship, able to erase opponents from existence with the barest of effort.

"Attention on deck!"
Jak reflexively snapped to attention, as did the others standing in the cavernous main landing bay. The Unstoppable had just been completed at the Kuat shipyards and was one of the new, more heavily-armed Mark II destroyers. Today was the ship's official commissioning into the Imperial Navy. Jak had won the gunners' raffle and was one of the 50 gunners to actually be in the hangar for the ceremony, while the others had to watch on holoscreens at their posts.

Jak peered to the left, using only his eyes, of course, since he was at attention. He watched the skeel Lambda-class shuttle slowly make its way into the hangar, wings folded and pointing upwards. Most of the crew embarked through docking tubes leading into the shipyard, loading everyone with shuttles this way would take ridiculously long. There was no doubt that this particular shuttle carried someone of great importance, particularly since Captain Hasken was already standing in the middle of the arrayed troops and crewmen.

With a sharp hiss, the shuttle's ramp lowered to the deck. The figure that came down the ramp was so tall that he had to duck slightly so as to not hit his head on the shuttle's cockpit pod. Jak always thought it was strange to design the shuttle that could injure its passengers so easily, but his thoughts were cut off when he heard the sound of breathing.

Deep, mechanical, echoing breathing. It shook him to his core and suddenly Jak was filled with terror. Normally, that sound by itself was no means for alarm, but it was what caused that breathing that was so terrifying. Tall, black, armored, its face covered by a helmet and menacing mask, a control box with blinking lights just barely visible through its cloak.

Darth Vader. The Emperor's personal representative in the Imperial military. He was a hero, nearly losing his life saving Palpatine from the treacharousn Jedi, and valiantly defending the Death Star from Rebel terrorists. Rumors that Jak had heard also said he was an absurdly harsh leader, leaving anyone who failed him with a crushed trachea.

"This ship will join me in my personal fleet, Death Squadron." Vader's voice was unnaturally deep, and somehow he could speak and breathe at the same time. His deep baritone echoed throughout the hangar, and some of the men assembled shivered a little.

Jak felt incredible excitement along with the fear Vader's presence induced. We're actually going right into the front and root out the Rebel scum! I could never have hoped for a better post!
Nine Kuze 06-12-2006 05:47 PM
Very nicely written, Mike. I'm feeling this more than say, the new trilogy.

quote:
Originally by SEELE08
And I've seen some scary stuff in my time...Eva/Star Wars cross overs. Keel and Rei are....SITH LORDS!

What? That's just wrong on so many levels. Like Jar Jar Binks wrong.

quote:
Originally by Mike
Either way, the point is to show the other side of the war through beer goggles...I mean propaganda goggles.

Darn, I was thinking beer goggles myself. Anyway, is there any chance of seeing some other characters down the line like Han, Jabba the Hut or anything like that pray tell?

Anyway, nice work again Mike and I'm lookin' forward to more.
Peace.
Mike 06-12-2006 06:08 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Nine XXVI
Darn, I was thinking beer goggles myself. Anyway, is there any chance of seeing some other characters down the line like Han, Jabba the Hut or anything like that pray tell?

Anyway, nice work again Mike and I'm lookin' forward to more.
Peace.

Probably not, since I'd probably totally eff their characters up. Unless they're just in the background being shot at.
Wingnut 06-12-2006 07:14 PM
Oooh Vader. Now this should really get good. It also tells me that the Unstoppable will be alongside the Executor very soon, perhaps even at the battle of Hoth.
Nine Kuze 06-12-2006 07:18 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Mike
quote:
Originally posted by Nine XXVI
Darn, I was thinking beer goggles myself. Anyway, is there any chance of seeing some other characters down the line like Han, Jabba the Hut or anything like that pray tell?

Anyway, nice work again Mike and I'm lookin' forward to more.
Peace.

Probably not, since I'd probably totally eff their characters up. Unless they're just in the background being shot at.

Hey, as long as they get mentioned in a line or two.

Wait, shot at? Um... could you throw in Padme in that scenario?

Also, yeah the ending of Chapter 2 with Vader coming in was nicely done and written. Nice job. Thumbs Up
Peace.
Hobodoken 06-12-2006 09:24 PM
This rocks fairly hard.

One thing though, if it had been a Rebel weapon that blew Alderan to bits, what was the Death Star supposed to be, as far as Jak knows?
Mike 06-12-2006 09:33 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Hobodoken
This rocks fairly hard.

One thing though, if it had been a Rebel weapon that blew Alderan to bits, what was the Death Star supposed to be, as far as Jak knows?

It was a mobile training station used to train huge amounts of personnell at once. I made that part up. The Rebels blowing up Alderaan part I actually found when I looked it up. I know that the propaganda reason for the second Death Star was that it was a mining thing, that the shameless Rebels threatened to turn on an inhabited, sanctuary world.
Hobodoken 06-12-2006 09:44 PM
Still, I'd think they'd have made a less... evil sounding name for it.

I mean, even the most brainwashed of people would think "Wait... Death Star, isn't that a bit evil sounding?"

Although, I want to clarify this is just me being nitpicky, and this is still awesome.
Mike 06-12-2006 09:44 PM
Yeah, I know....
I'm assuming that since it hadn't been operational for all that long, they never told their subjects of its real name.

also, thanks. I really got fed up with how a whole lot of the novels suck hard and maek all the main characters into dumbasses. Except for the Thrawn trilogy, and the X-Wing ones, except for the fanwankery that a single squadron of fighters does more damage to a ship the size of Manhattan than battleships. But the guy who started that series was a game designer who also wrote Battletech novels.
Mike 06-15-2006 09:26 PM
"I hate hyperspace."
"Shut up, Ezram."
"I mean it. It's just a blue swirly thing. Nothing to look at, nothing to shoot at, nothing. Don't you agree with me, Lieutenant?"

Lt. Ranson looked down at the Ensign on his left. "Do you realize that all of space is like that? Just a big black empty nothing peppered with planets and every here and there you find a pirate or a Rebel and get to blow it up. Anyway, we're coming out of hyperspace in one minute."

Jak rubbed his eyes. It had been a week since the Unstoppable's commissioning, and it had somehow managed to be the most boring week of his life. The ship was en route from its birthplace, Kuat, in the Galactic Core, to Yavin, way out in the Outer Rim. Because Yavin was so far out, it took several short jumps to get there, and since the Unstoppable was in the area, several plantary governors asked the ship to run patrols. But the ship was finally about to reach its destination after a few more jumps.

Yavin had been the site of the base where Rebels struck at the Death Star.
That was something that Jak found surprising. He learned from his superiors that the "training station" Tarkin had been on was actually a heavily armed battle station designed to destroy the Rebellion. It was named the Death Star to try and intimidate the Rebels into surrendering before even arming their weapons. Unfortunately, the Rebels attacked it completely unprovoked and one of their pilots managed to exploit a small design flaw.

The name of that pilot was well-known throughout the Empire. Luke Skywalker. He was said to be a giant of a man, nearly as tall as Lord Vader, the son of some lost Jedi Knight who was terrorizing the galaxy. It was the mission of Death Squadron, Vader's personal fleet, to hunt down and capture Skywalker and the other Rebel leaders.

The image on the sensor screen suddenly exploded from a swirling blue mass to a thousand white lines which then shrank down into a thousand stars.

"We're out of hyperspace, Jak."
"I can see that, thank you very much."
"I see several contacts. Pirates."
"Well then, let's show them a pirate's fate."
Jak looked at his sensor display. Ezram's job was to take the ship's main sensor feed and break it down into targeting data that could be used by Jak's gun turret. On the board were several small dots, and one bigger one.

"Ezram, can you enhance the image?"
The dots shimmered and in the place was an image of a medium-sized freighter surrounded by twelve starfighters.
"Starkillers?"
"Six R-41 Starkillers, six Z-95 Headhunters," reported Ezram.
"Oh, this will be easy. They just better give me a shot at them."

The orders came down from the bridge into Jak's headset.
"All gunners, fire at will."
Jak grinned, and grabbed the control yoke, similar to the controls on a starfighter. Some gunners liked to just punch data into the targeting computer and let the system do everything automatically, but that was no fun. No, Jak liked the feeling of manual control, it made him feel like he was right outside of the ship firing on his enemies.

As enormous amounts of green weapons fire leaving the Destroyer filled his view, Jak centered his scope on one of the Starkillers. It was trying to get itself behind the freighter, but all it found was a burst of green energy and it became a ball of flame.

"Dammit, I wanted that one. Ezram, new target!"
Jak tracked his fire over to the next fighter. His first shot hit the shields and was mostly dissipated, but left some scoring on the hull. His second shot overwhelmed the small ship's shields and broke it in half, spewing sparks and unburned fuel out into space.

"Nice shooting Lieutenant, that guy was a long way downrange!"
"Why thank you, Ensign. Now give me something else to kill."
Jak's sensor board highlighted a Headhunter, angling to make a run towards hyperspace. Towards escape.
A turbolaser could move faster than a starfighter.
The Headhunter's engines exploded, sending its wings flying off as its pilot ejected.

That reminded Jak about why he didn't want to be a pilot. Floating through space is cold, and stupidly dangerous when all that separated you from battle was a flightsuit.

Suddenly a flash illuminated Jak's view as the freighter exploded. Green streams of fire from Unstoppable's heavy guns pierced the ship's bridge, and engines, and pretty much every other part of the ship. Jak hoped to one day be in charge of one of those huge, eight-barreled guns.

There were no more dots on the sensor screen. On the visual screen, there was just a yellow planet and lots of debris. The hail of green bolts let up. After a short course change, the Unstoppable entered hyperspace.

"Finally" said Jak. "Next stop, Yavin. And the real fight."
Revan 06-16-2006 05:29 AM
Nice. The action sequence was well written! Cool

Can't help the feeling that Jak is becoming a little...sadistic

But i guess that is expected from a Imperial who has access to a turbolaser!
Wingnut 06-16-2006 08:08 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Revan
Nice. The action sequence was well written! Cool

Can't help the feeling that Jak is becoming a little...sadistic

But i guess that is expected from a Imperial who has access to a turbolaser!

Very true indeed.
Although that battle was far too easy, target practice would be more like it. I could take out that entire force with only an Assult Guinboat and not even have to recharge my shields.
And Imperial intellenge was right about one thing, Luke is the son of a lost Jedi Knight.