[Other] Goth: A Game with Story.

Randolph 03-04-2006 02:50 AM
Here's the Bob and George topic on it.

I've been working on a computer game. The technical parts
are going okay, but the story I have written needs some outside
opinions.

The body of it I've discussed at BnG's forums, but I think the educated
folks here at PCF could also help out. Kindly check the link above for
the previous discussions.

If you have anything that can assist in this, it would be appreciated.
Thank you for your time.
X Prime 03-04-2006 09:46 AM
May want to paste the relevant bits here... BnG forces you to register to look in threads.
Sharpshooter005 03-04-2006 05:42 PM
If this is some kind of splinter cell-esque game where the player stealthily offs hot topic customers...I had that idea a long while ago, and would like royalties. (It's funny, because...the name....goths..ha..haha..ha. Yeah...)

But yeah, without...information I don't have to register to see, I can't know.
Generalissimo D 03-04-2006 05:46 PM
Dude.

Post that sh** over here. All of it.

I LOVE IT.
Asirt 03-04-2006 05:50 PM
For those who won't register:

quote:
I present this asking for opinions on the setting and characters
I have written for my game project, dubbed "Goth".
After examining my work, I have realized a number of rather ugly cliches
I would like to weed out. I don't imagine I can do this on my own (having
allowed myself to write them in the first place). So, I shall attempt to explain the problems.

The setting is thus:
The medieval world has been conquered by evil. All nations have been dissolved,
all countries and peoples disbanded. Religion, art and science of all forms
has been deleted from humanity, with only those relevant elements retained
by King Kaiser, the indisputed ruler of the world.

Kaiser is the first cliche. His faults are:
1. Long white hair.
2. Bulky black armor and long cape.
3. Invincible power.
4. While lacking an insane laugh, he does smile evilly on occasion.
5. Extravagant throne, bracketed by unnaturally-toned torches.
6. He is simply evil, without any decent explanation.
Some of my thoughts were to make him evil by having glimpsed Hell itself
with his naked eyes and gone mad. Others, he was born from a demonic
union. Still others, he is possessed by Satan. And yet others, he IS Satan.

Continuing the setting:
Having written a doctrine of Sin which has replaced all other practices,
any human being capable of total sensual release will be either conditioned to do so,
or removed to make room for others. All forms of sinful delight are represented
by massive facilities capable of providing any of the various desires of the human
body, each of them refined to an exact science by years of dedicated study.
These basic facilities are; The Etinghaus (Excessive Food), The Seraglio (...uh, you know.), The Library (Evil Magic) and The Coliseum (Violence).
In short, the entire world is reduced to a drunken rave party.

There's another problem; a dark, gothic world populated by horny,
filthy, bestial half-monster people with nothing on their minds but nasty crap.
Also involving a lot of Undead, mass-produced soldiers and a giant castle
inhabited by nothing short of an Evil Overlord with the long white hair and throne.
In short, what seems to be The Lord of the Rings and Excel Saga mashed together.

The next development:
The hero Raphael, a single individual who defies Kaiser's attempt to seduce the entire world. He also suffers from cliches.
1. He carries both a gun, and a sword.
2. He has too much hair. It is also messy and black.
3. In an early draft, his goal was to save his girlfriend. It isn't anymore.
4. He's got a "Badass", "Out of my way" attitude towards life.
5. His primary foes are bats, skeletons, zombies and a few demons.

However, I do have one thing planned for him that is a bit different;
I intend for him to undergo transformation from this ignoble fiend
who has no real business confronting the evil Kaiser, to nothing
short of an actual Angel. THE Angel Raphael, in fact.

There is also a wizard involved. His name is Alexander.
While in the employ of Kaiser, he does offer his help to Raphael.
Also fairly cliche.

The summary is this:
Evil Kaiser rules the world. One young fellow (for some reason) opposes this.
He treks through a gothic world that looks too much like Castlevania
to put a stop to this evil. Along the lines, he is purified and becomes worthy
of his cause.

It's a bit much for one post, but I'll extrapolate on it more as the discussion
progresses.

Anything that can help inspire me will be appreciated.
Thank you for your time.


There's more, but I'll let Randolph post the rest.
Randolph 03-04-2006 06:37 PM
My apologies for not posting it, I've been registered at BnG so long
I forgot you needed to be registered to read threads.

I've just gotten out of bed and I'm not in the mood to copy-and-post
whole threads just yet, but I will do it in a bit.

Again, sorry.
Randolph 03-05-2006 06:39 AM
Bloody double-posting.

Anyhow, I have here a rough summary of the plot as it is written in
my notes. It leaves out a lot of details, but should give you some idea
of what I'm working towards.

Here you go.
quote:
Cardinal Abraham ruled the entire known world. As Cardinal of the
Church, he desperately tried to purify society by depriving them
of almost everything that made them human and forcing them to bottle up
their desires.
A dissident known as Kaiser usurped him and brought his rule crashing
down. Those still loyal to Abraham fled into the badlands, while
began summoning to him all manner of depraved souls to build his Kingdom.
Kaiser created the ultimate empire of sin, a polar opposite of
Abraham's rule; a world where every sensual delight of every kind
is available at moment's whim, refined to perfection by the knowledge of
the imperial wizard, Alexander.

Generations later, deep in the badlands, the remnants of the Church have
given up on survival. The last relic left from their beloved leader,
Cardinal Abraham, is a letter of penance. In his final testament,
he instructed them to bring this before the throne of his usurper,
pray for his forgiveness, and peacefully give themselves up to destruction.

A young man is chosen from the remnants to deliver the message. To do so,
he must travel his way through the vast, decadent capital city, Tophet. The
followers of Kaiser, however, will let no outsiders pass in peace.


Now, this isn't final. I may toss out great chunks of this if a better
idea comes to me. If you've got any input, feel free to discuss.