I present this asking for opinions on the setting and characters
I have written for my game project, dubbed "Goth".
After examining my work, I have realized a number of rather ugly cliches
I would like to weed out. I don't imagine I can do this on my own (having
allowed myself to write them in the first place). So, I shall attempt to explain the problems.
The setting is thus:
The medieval world has been conquered by evil. All nations have been dissolved,
all countries and peoples disbanded. Religion, art and science of all forms
has been deleted from humanity, with only those relevant elements retained
by King Kaiser, the indisputed ruler of the world.
Kaiser is the first cliche. His faults are:
1. Long white hair.
2. Bulky black armor and long cape.
3. Invincible power.
4. While lacking an insane laugh, he does smile evilly on occasion.
5. Extravagant throne, bracketed by unnaturally-toned torches.
6. He is simply evil, without any decent explanation.
Some of my thoughts were to make him evil by having glimpsed Hell itself
with his naked eyes and gone mad. Others, he was born from a demonic
union. Still others, he is possessed by Satan. And yet others, he IS Satan.
Continuing the setting:
Having written a doctrine of Sin which has replaced all other practices,
any human being capable of total sensual release will be either conditioned to do so,
or removed to make room for others. All forms of sinful delight are represented
by massive facilities capable of providing any of the various desires of the human
body, each of them refined to an exact science by years of dedicated study.
These basic facilities are; The Etinghaus (Excessive Food), The Seraglio (...uh, you know.), The Library (Evil Magic) and The Coliseum (Violence).
In short, the entire world is reduced to a drunken rave party.
There's another problem; a dark, gothic world populated by horny,
filthy, bestial half-monster people with nothing on their minds but nasty crap.
Also involving a lot of Undead, mass-produced soldiers and a giant castle
inhabited by nothing short of an Evil Overlord with the long white hair and throne.
In short, what seems to be The Lord of the Rings and Excel Saga mashed together.
The next development:
The hero Raphael, a single individual who defies Kaiser's attempt to seduce the entire world. He also suffers from cliches.
1. He carries both a gun, and a sword.
2. He has too much hair. It is also messy and black.
3. In an early draft, his goal was to save his girlfriend. It isn't anymore.
4. He's got a "Badass", "Out of my way" attitude towards life.
5. His primary foes are bats, skeletons, zombies and a few demons.
However, I do have one thing planned for him that is a bit different;
I intend for him to undergo transformation from this ignoble fiend
who has no real business confronting the evil Kaiser, to nothing
short of an actual Angel. THE Angel Raphael, in fact.
There is also a wizard involved. His name is Alexander.
While in the employ of Kaiser, he does offer his help to Raphael.
Also fairly cliche.
The summary is this:
Evil Kaiser rules the world. One young fellow (for some reason) opposes this.
He treks through a gothic world that looks too much like Castlevania
to put a stop to this evil. Along the lines, he is purified and becomes worthy
of his cause.
It's a bit much for one post, but I'll extrapolate on it more as the discussion
progresses.
Anything that can help inspire me will be appreciated.
Thank you for your time. |