What Would A Manly Man Do?

As a young teen, manly man never when through puberty. He was born a man. This made manly man's father nervous as it was a challenge to his own manhood.

The manly man's father then got the bright idea of excommunicating his own son to a far far away place where manly man would live out the rest of his days.

Before Manly Man's father could do so, he was attacked by beavers, ironically, allies of Manly Man.

Manly Man was ashamed of being the son of such un-manliness, and therfore hid that he was his father's son.

Manly Man was to manly to hide, so he just sent his father to Nicaragua and made him be a male prostitute to the nastiest of buyers.

The Manly Man's father reasserted his manliness by, instead of becoming a prostitute, building a crime empire and conquering all of Central America in his son's name.

The manly man's father then sent every bounty hunter in the world to bring his son back to him for at least a billion dollars.

Manly man decided this was enough. He found his father, carried him by the scrotum to the pacific ocean, and forced him to drink the water until his stomach exploded. Then he went and beat up old people, for good measure.

Manly Man made old people extinct. Thanks to him, people now use their remains for fuel for their SUVs.

Manly Man finds old-people oil wayyy too crude. So he uses the purest drunken toddler gasoline for his Super Hummer. It gets 130 manly miles per gallon.

130 manly miles of course equal to 1/3 of a normal mile.

Manly Man decides to go swimming. However, merely swimming bores him, so he punches a shark. The shark is a wuss and runs away, so Manly Man reaches down its throat and punches its insides.

Manly Man then used the cartilage from the shark and molded a new ear, due to the fact that he lost one while cokffighting Mike Tyson. ( I mean with chickens sickos). He then rippped out the sharks small intestine and used it as a whip as he raced Killer whales while he kicked sea lions.

One time, when manly man was bored, he put an end to Japan's giant monster problem. He did this by sinking the island by doing 17 push-downs, which unlike ordinary ordinary push-ups, instead of pushing himself up he pushed the earth beneath him down.

Manly man doesn't like to drive his car though. He prefers strapping children to his feet and performing a sort-of urban cross country maneuver. This being said, he eats his car.

When Manly Man shaves, his shavings are used as razorblades by lesser men.

Whenever the townsfolk hear about him shaving, it is too late for some, for they already have been sliced by his shavings.

One time, Manly Man slept with 18 women at one time, simultaneously. He would have gone for 32, but that would just make him a man hoar, thusly rendering him unmanly. He also was a world-renown stripper, the stripping led to the 18 woman thing.

Wow. GJ.

Manly man decided to relax today. He layed outside by the pool. Except the manly part about this sentence is that his pool is filled with beer, and has tigers swimming in it.