What Would A Manly Man Do?

Which he refuses because he is so manly that he sweats beer.

His Manly beer is of such high quality that to drink it makes you die instantly from alchohol poisoning. However, the quality does not stop there. The quality of the sweated beer re-animates your corpse and turns you into a manly panda cyborg/zombie.

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Originally posted by Big Money His Manly beer is of such high quality that to drink it makes you die instantly from alchohol poisoning. However, the quality does not stop there. The quality of the sweated beer re-animates your corpse and turns you into a manly panda cyborg/zombie.

When reanimated into this zombie, the manly man threatens to kill the nearest genetic scientist's family if he does not turn him back into a 100% manly man, with no extra fluff that any real manly man doesn't need.

A rather buff Girl Scout who whould sell cookies with good ol' C4.

Manly Man would also sell grenades

The grenades would be made of the manly man's own blood and sodium nitrate. He would sell them to the old people across the street and they would die because they were not manly enough to withstand a greanade the size of their own heads.

He would then laugh at the death of old people. Because that's what old people do - they die.

Along with selling grenades and girl-scout cookies, he would also sell rabid crocodiles with rabies to morons who would buy them because they were "50% off the original price".

The manly man wouldn't pull Excalibur from the stone, instead opting to simply pick up the whole thing and use it to crush less manly people.

The manly man wouldn't burn CD's on his computer, he would use his external hardrive for his mac.......which had a skull on it.

The manly man would use his computer to burn firecrackers as well. The firecrackers would scare the old people into not driving, making it safe once more.

With the roads clear of old people, he would then go to town with his Super-Hummer, made of four regular Hummers welded together.

The Super-Hummer requires 400 barrels of crude, unrefined oil to power it for every mile it drives. Also, it is required that a minimum of 20 trees older than 50 years must be cut down, to run the steam powered sterio system that plays at sound levels so high that buildings in vicinity are destroyed utterly.

And when the manly man want's to get back to nature, he uses the Super-Hummer's giant buzz saw attatchments to clear cut a path through a forest, where he set's up camp. This camp includes a gas powered genorator powering an 83" high definition telivision/ grill.

Manly man goes for smokes

A lady tells her husband to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. He walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her.
They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment. After they've had their fun, he realizes its 3am and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?" She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home.
His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty angry. "Where the hell have you been?"
"Well, honey, it's like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking girl there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her."
"Oh yeah? Let me see Your hands!" She sees his hands are covered with powder and... "You damned liar!!! You were playing pool again!!!"

The next morning, manly man decides that theres something missing in his life....like carnage, or more specifically, not enough of it...you could say its sorely lacking. To make up for this, he decided that now is as good a time as any to go hunting for endagered species. He slaughters a family of Panda bears and takes the biggest bone he can find and cracks the skulls of 5 killer whales with it, all while chewing on raw polar bear meat. Feeling fulfilled, he returns home and ponders his plans for tomorrow...which will probably involve mass rainforest devastation.

Manly man starts off the next day by working out. He becomes so sweaty, that he fills a giant tub full of his sweat, and dumps it on an unsuspecting child. However, his sweat is so manly, that it has the effects of mustard gas (only liquid). The kid instantly gets burned, and manly man gets a you-should've-know-about-the-sweat-before-you-tried-to-be-a-kid look on his face.

After the Manly Man dumped the sweat on the kid, he decided he(the kid) should have medical attention, so he chose to catapult the kid into a hospital. Later that day, he took the Super-Hummer to the ocean(it is also amphibious) and drove to the Bermuda triangle. At first he thought he lost wallet, but he was wayyy to manly to even think about things, so he just punched sea turtles and anglerfish. He would then head to Bermuda and sell them to drunk spring breakers, but the Turtles and fish would be infused with tranqulizer darts. He would take the spring breakers back to his mansion and make them his Nicaraguan love-slaves. But he realised that he didn't have emotions so he just made them POW's.