What Would A Manly Man Do?

A manly man has sex five times on the way to the toaster.

With different women. At the same time. Despite none of them being in the same room, house, or even state. Yup. He's that good.

The Manly Man is over-sexed...

by Conservative standards. They are jealous of him.

The mighty man is the fourth branch of government.

Most people are jealous of the Manly Man. This includes, of course, the Martians, who were not conquered by Santa Claus as the movies would have you believe, but by the Manly Man himself, who was dressed up as Santa for the holidays at the time.

The Manly Man has toast with Santa every third Sunday, and Satan every fourth. Whenever the days co-incide, the Manly Man eats with the Moon instead.

The Manly Man and the moon play poker every Wednesday night. Manly Man always wins the moon's chips, no matter what the odds are.

Then beats the rest of his Poker Buddies in the mouth.

With his giant washboard abs of DOOM!

The manly man had sex with Jupiter. Thus, Pluto was born.

The manly man once challenged Pluto for reign over Hades. Pluto wisely conceded the match. This did not, however stop the manly man from punching him in the face with a bat.

Manly Man took your mother out for a nice seafood dinner.












And never called her again!

The Manly Man doesn't need to woo women, they simply throw themselves on his big, burly arms, hoping to be acknowledged.

The Manly Man's left and right arms are Vin Diesel and Chuck Norris, respectively. His legs are made from a daemonically possessed tower of hero's bones covered with flesh made from thousands of juicy steaks.

Other people that comprise of the Manly man include: Steve Buscemi, Denis Leary, Michael Bolton, and Stephen Hawking.

So he's a REALLY good looking Frankenstein?

He is divided up in lesser men, as their combined Manlyness would undoubtably cause the next 3 World Wars.

Don't get me started on World Wars. I'll make your ears bleed.

And if a world war started, Manly Man would crack skulls left and right on all sides until everyone stopped acting like a bunch of 5th graders and put away the nukes.

That is incorrect. As the Manly Man, by extension of being manly, would side with America.

And like a true patriot, he would nuke the enemies to the ground. And by nuke, I mean go out alone and wipe out the enemy.

Manly man would KILL EVERYTHING.