Misc. Random Facts About Vin Diesel

Dingo 06-03-2005 12:38 AM
The meaning of life is not in fact 42 but ... Vin Diesel.
The comic book series "Sin City" is an autobiographical account of Vin Diesel's exploits in Overland Park, Kansas.
Santa Claus actually has three lists: Naughty, Nice, and Vin Diesel.
Every fact that is on this website will be on a Snapple cap soon.
Vin Diesel once told a joke that was so funny that God laughed.
And indeed he did.

spoiler (highlight to read):
Vin Diesel has had sex with your mom on numerous occasions. He has a hotline for finding out how many times and what positions were used. Vin also times his ejaculations, in order to rate himself with the rest of humanity. He's in the number three spot, behind Patrick Stewart and Liberace's corpse
Big Money 06-03-2005 10:19 PM
I think we are all forgetting the most important fact:

Vin Diesel is Mega Man.

Generalissimo D 06-03-2005 10:30 PM
Originally posted by Big Money
I think we are all forgetting the most important fact:

Vin Diesel is Mega Man.


I half-laughed. I half yelled. I am morbidly offended. I am seriously entertained......

One I just made up:
Vin Diesel's urine could be used as high octane fuel.
Shaoblane 06-04-2005 04:46 PM
Vin Diesel has submitted most of the facts you've read.

Who submitted that one?!Laughing

Vin Diesel has solved all of history's greatest problems with ho-slappings and his unique ability to ejaculate anti-matter.

*tries to clear her head of disturbing thoughts and images*

Vin Diesel sneezes in reverse.


Vin Diesel insisted that the new pope be named Pope POURRI saying that it would FRESHEN up the church. Vin Diesel loves a good pun.

If you pay close attention to the background of Zoolander, you can see Vin Diesel hog-tying a blue whale through an aquarium window.


Vin Diesel knows the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow (African *AND* European).

YES!!! Laughing
Darkside 06-04-2005 06:10 PM
-Vin Diesel killed Optimus Prime


-There are sockets in Vin Diesel's arms and feet for the heads of four smaller Vin Diesels to connect into. Together they merge and become Vin-Diesel-Cator. To date, this has only happened once.

Gestalts are awlays cool.

-Scientists have toiled for years in an attempt to synthesise Vin Diesel. Though they have always failed to accomplish their goal, this process has led towards the accidental discovery of wireless phones, post-it notes, candy floss, packing peanuts, DVD technology and MTV2.

- Vin Diesel is the only being in existence to ever single-handedly defeat Unicron. Without the Matrix.

Hot Rod's such a pansy anyways.

-Most people don't know this, but the bible actually ends with Vin Diesel showing up at the crucifixion with a pair of Uzi's and kicking some Roman ass. Vin Diesel was all like, "Jesus, I totally saved you." Then, off on the horizon, a bunch of Romans show up riding dinosaurs led by Mecha Pontious Pilate. Jesus busts out this sweet ninja sword and says, "Now it's my turn to save you." Then Jesus and Vin Diesel run towards the Romans in slow motion. That's how the bible ends. It's a cliff-hanger. I can't wait for the sequel, "The Bible 2: Water...Into Blood".

Generalissimo D 06-04-2005 10:34 PM

Brittany Spears is pregnant with the second coming of Vin Diesel.

The reason Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon was because Vin Diesel threw him overboard after hijacking the space shuttle.

Vin Diesel was a POW in Vietnam. He was rescued by Chuck Norris. Norris taught him karate.

Vin Diesel is actually five men, all of whom share the same soul. If any one of them ever comes face to face with another, they are required by the laws of fate to totally rock the f*** out. The last time this cosmic event occurred, Atlantis sank beneath the sea forever. It was worth it.

Vin Diesel is responsible for the maiming deaths of at least three Muppets on Sesame Street, after being asked what he'd do for a Klondike bar.

When Vin Diesel plays any video game, God mode automatically turns on.

evanASF27 07-06-2005 01:36 AM
Vin Diesel wrote all the greatest works of Western literature in single burst of creative energy- in a single afternoon. Later that evening he s**t out 400 pages of Mad Libs.

That's my favorite Big Grin

okay this one is freaky
Vin Diesel once inhaled a seagull.

When Vin Diesel finds a coin on the ground, he punches a nun. Vin Diesel rarely finds coins, and yet has punched more nuns than can easily be counted. Go figure.

Vin Diesel's sons are John Wayne Gacy, Jeffrey Dahmer, Ed Gein, and Cher. This is why it is against the law in 49 states for Vin to reproduce. The only state that allows it is Alabama. This is because Vin saved Alabama from certain destruction, however, the details have not been released to the public and there is only speculation at this point.

Here's one for the Catholics
In the first draft of Milton's "Paradise Lost", Vin Diesel departed from heaven after repeated noise complaints from God and a dispute over the terms of his lease. Deciding this wasn't colorful enough, editors insisted that God battle and defeat Vin Diesel, then cast him down from the heavens. Vin Diesel knew readers would find this implausible, and had his name removed. He was replaced by Milton's second choice, Lucifer.
Sir Nise 07-06-2005 03:01 PM
Oh snap these are hilarious.

Vin Diesel cannot look up.

He is responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs. A Diplodocus said his mom was fat so he killed each and every dinosaur with an icepick and a baseball bat wrapped in 40-grit sandpaper.

that is nasty!^

Vin Diesel once lost a fight with a three-year-old girl.

His saliva tastes like Sierra Mist.

Santa Claus actually did exist until he forgot to give Vin Diesel the entire Hardy Boys collection series for Christmas.

Only Vin Diesel knows with certainty what the Christ Dr. Pepper really is. That knowledge is both his eternal burden and the source of his powers.

And now, one from Sir Nise: One time, Vin Diesel was on BET and saw Gary Coleman. After a small confrontation, Vin took Gary to Japan and made him his personal assistant. He says "What chu talkiin' bout" at Vin's call. The Gary Colemans you see at E3's are only the mini Vin Diesel clones that smell like tacos and old candy. The real Gary Coleman is actully Tom Cruise, who is the leader of Vin's capatalist food source. Thusly Tom Cruise turned/is crazy froom the enslavement.
Buck Buck #1 08-30-2005 08:31 PM
Vin Diesel is an Economic Scholar. I know this because he sits in front of me. One time he let me rub his head for good luck, and my hand almost fell off.
evanASF27 08-30-2005 08:48 PM
In 1996 Vin Diesel won a hotdog eating contest in Decatur, Georgia despite actually being on a fishing boat off Nova Scotia.

Lyinginbedmon 10-08-2005 02:23 PM
Vin Diesel plays Dungeons & Dragons as a Drow Witchhunter with double-specialisation called Melkor