[Fan Fiction] The Other Coast (and other writings.)

Lyinginbedmon 02-18-2005 04:27 PM
It's deja vu all over again for Gregory Big Grin
Generalissimo D 02-18-2005 05:26 PM
I do hope you caught my HellBoy gag about the pamcakes....but then again your probably the only person looking at this. Bleh...
Lyinginbedmon 02-18-2005 05:56 PM
And you likewise with Terminal Crying
Generalissimo D 02-18-2005 06:26 PM
I need to have this edited...someone HELP!
Next part coming here. The Ending should be rolling around either early tomarrow morming or 2NITE! Note: This is weird.
----------------------------------------------
Act 3(Cont.)

"Mr. Diaz. I think its time I said something I should have said a long time ago."
Lucy winked at him and put her face closer to the camera. "I love you, even though you are a foul tempered little maniac sometimes." Her emotions changed suddenly, and she spoke out with a loud commanding voice."BIG HORUS! SAVIOR RUN!"
Everything flipped back on instantly. "Bye...Gregory," she said as the screen turned to its calculation program. Big Horus automaticly made a upwards turn, moving the momentum forward. Greg was stuck to his seat from the sheer force. The controls moved on their own. Horus began descent again, and the missles were primed for fire. Big Horus shot out two claw-like missles out of its chest plates. They reached down and ripped something out of Big Dante, flying away shortly after. Big Horus fired its two missles, and blasted away quickly. Being low-yield bombs, they only vaporized about 2 acres of land in an intense blast of light. While it saved his life, the intensity of the speed knocked Gregory out. His megadeus returned to its hanger, and the dominus fell back into dream world, the world which he feared to visit.

******************************
".....Is he alive?," spoke a concerned female foice.
A strange sounding male voice replied. " After a battle like that I doubt he is...Can I kill him now or do you want to look at him a little longer."
" Not funny Alan."
Gregory groaned. He felt he was on a sofa, strength returning to him. "Lucy? Leon?"
"Alan! He just spoke!" said the woman. Alan replied "Well Angel, shall we inform Agent 12 about our new arrival?"
"Not just yet. I want to know why this man was in the Megadeus."
Gregory opened his eyes. He was in a dimly lit room, with 2 people looming over him. One was a sunglassed blond man in a black striped suit, the other a very attractive blond woman. "My God!" said the woman, "I've seen you before!"
Greg replied "You were in the restaurant that day I went to see Fire Head." He sat up and looked around some more. The dominus was used to this by now, passing out and waking up in strange places. He usually can conclude Lucy had something to do with it, and once again he was right. "Where am I?" responded our subject of attention. "The Union Base," said the strange blond man, "Middle of Nowhere, Kansas."
Lyinginbedmon 02-19-2005 09:44 AM
"And thus their paths shall cross"

Great work
Generalissimo D 02-19-2005 01:34 PM
Ok. Herezit. The end of the first "season" of The Other Coast. Prepare to bitch.
----------------------------

Act 3(Cont.)

"Nowhere? Kansas?"


"Yes, you crashed landed here about 2 hours ago. Me and Angel here were

coming back from Prometheus City via the tunnels, and that robot of yours fell

right behind us.. I managed to pull you, but your Megadeus is still in the

tunnel." said the strange looking Alan. Angel sat down infront of him. "Who

are you," said she.


"My name is Gregory Diaz. Freelance Reporter, Writer, and in my spare time:

Superhero." Alan spoke again: "Well if thats true...how did you find your way

here?"


"I'm still not sure were 'here' is. Big Horus took me here, I had no control in

the matter. I think I had just finished my battle with Big Dante when it

happened." said Greg.


"We know. As soon as we saw you crash, we checked on the video feeds in

the area." said Angel. "Now if you don't mind Gregory," said Angel, "We

would like to ask you a few questions."


***************************************


The "Few questions" had taken up more than five hours. Not that

anyone noticed or cared. After the questioning, they had given him a food

that was very strange to him: what they called a "sandwich". Soon after this,

they drove him back to the tunnel. When they came to the crash site, there

was a giant wall of sand with one of Horus's propeller hands sticking out.

"Everybody, get back and hold on to something. BIG HORUS! SHOWTIME!"


Angel and Alan went back and hid behind the car the drove in.

Something was heard in the sand, and after a minute, it stopped. The

Propeller then started going, and everything shook. Greg jumped behind the

car as well. Big Horus blasted out of the sand, sending alot of it their way.

They shook themselves off, and watched the Megadeus rise up.

"Thats....amazing!" said Angel.


Greg stepped forward. "Thanks for the food guys, but I've got business

to take care of." Big Horus came down once more, picking him up and getting

him back in his seat. "Big Horus, Reverse Path." He hit a switch that made

another control pop up. It was a level with the throttle settings. He pulled it

all the way back to the maximum setting and a several seatbelts strapped

him in. He hit the switch again, causing it to dissapear. Big Horus's back and

feet opened up, unvieling additional thrusters. A helmet and oxygen mask

were lowered down to him. Big Horus was hovering at the moment, going

into Jet Mode. In a split second he was off. In thirty minutes, The Domes of

Prometheus were visible. He lowered the throttle, and began descent. Greg

looked at the city in terror. It was in ruins. Something had been rampaging

through the city. He went toward the beachside cliff that contained Horus's

hanger. A minute sensation of relief filled Greg, for it had not been destroyed.

The doors opened and he landed softly. He shut Horus down and went out to

investigate. He made his way to the house, hoping someone was still there.

As he emerged from the basement, he could see Leon with his bazooka and

rocket launcher at the ready, looking through the gaping hole in the house.

"Leon, what happened?!" said the bewildered hero. "A Megadeus appeared.

Lucy was taken. It looked like Big Dunkle and Big Dante combined. It used

some sort of claw missle to grab her. A Memory of the Future appeared in his

head.

**************************************

The sky was lit red with the fire and smoke that had been created. A giant

Megadeus was moving, that looked like all three of them put together. It was

walking towards a city that resembeled Prometheus. A half melted sign that

read "Los A" was knocked down. Megadei that resembled smaller versions of

Big Dante, Dunkle, and Horus attacked it. Wave after wave of attacks were

deflected by its armor. The attackers themselves were melted by the four

Cobra Lasers of Big Dunkle, Ripped apart by the Death Thunder machine guns

of Big Dante, and blasted by the explosive array of Big Horus. The Body of Big

Dante, the Head of Big Dunkle, The Arms and Legs of Big Horus plated with

strange looking armor. This God of War with its mighty arms, rose to the

Heavens and rained down hellfire on the land. The head fired down six

lasers, carving out circles in the city. It expelled all its ammunition, destroying

anything else that was left. As if this were not enough, the legs extended,

revieling 6 missles. It fired them off at the area surrounding the area, which

reduced them to rubble. It then came down once more, like a meteor. At the

impact point, it was ripped apart. Out from the ruins, a new red one

appeared. It began collecting bodies like a magnet, walking toward the east.

The vision cut to the inside of it. Lucifer was at the controls, with Lucy on a

seat above him. She was connected to the machine with wires, her eyes

bright red. The sun rose, and as it took its sixth step out of the city, it

dissapeared.


*************************************


"Lucy. She's the engine. She's the key to the weapon that destroyed

this city over 40 years ago."


Leon looked at him. "Are you saying that android is going to be the end of

us?" he said with a look of disbelief. Greg nodded. "Now Leon, do me a favor.

Restock Horus's ammunition, check the oil, recharge everything to the max. I

want him in mint condition. I'm going to go change into my best clothes." he

finished. Leon asked why. "If it is to be our last run, I want to look good for

it." Leon ran off to fix Big Horus, and Greg bathed and changed into his

tuxedo. He said one last goodbye to Leon, and jumped into Horus. He flew off

smoothly and turned toward Prometheus Corp. "Big Horus, if this our last

time together, I want you to promise me that you'll not become part of

monster."

The screen lit up, and the following words ran across it. "I promise."

END OF ACT 3

We Have Come to Terms.
Lyinginbedmon 02-19-2005 01:55 PM
Brilliant! You seem to have improved greatly too! Big Grin
Generalissimo D 02-19-2005 01:58 PM
Ahh shucks. Thanks. Well...I might do either the follow up and prequel within the next week or so.
Lyinginbedmon 02-19-2005 02:15 PM
That sounds great, still reading Terminal Completion and Nemesis? The writing style seems very similar
Generalissimo D 02-19-2005 04:34 PM
Lucy's Memory:

<Access Memory>
<MEMORY ACCESSED>
<Run File 28490>
<FILE PLAYING>
"Good Morning, Greg"
"Good Morning, MRS. DIAZ!"
Lucy woke up on her side, staring at Gregory. He reached over kissed her. "Get up already, before your mother comes and invents something puts me in jail for three decades. I want to live a married man before I die a married man"
<UNEXPECTED CORRUPTION - SKIPPING CORRUPTED PORTION>
Gregory was walking hand-in-hand with her. They were both eating ice cream cones, walking along a beach. "When did they call?" asked Lucy. "This morning. You know me, insomniac. They said they want me in for training next week." replied Gregory. Lucy looked at their rings, thinking to herself how unfair it was. "Of all the men in the world, mine has to be the best pilot."
Gregory said "I know its unfair, but who else can do what I can? I want to keep you safe, and this is the best way I can."
<MISSING PORTION - UNKNOWN ERROR>
<REPAIRING..>
People were running in the streets. Lucy was moving agaisnt the crowd. "GREG! GREEEEG!" she yelled. A skyscraper was knocked out by two Megadei fighting. Big Horus could be seen overhead, coming down. The cockpit opened. Gregory, hanging on to a rope, reached down and swooped her up. He sat down and strapped her in with him. "I'm sorry, honey. Had to help out the infantry." She reached back and kissed him. "WATCH OUT!" he yelled into the radio to the other bombers. The enemy megadei opened laser fire, destroying a good deal of them. Lucy looked out around, trying to see through the smoke infront.
<MISPLACED FILE--RETRIEVING>
Big Horus crashed down into a field. Lucy had been sitting strapped in Gregs lap and was cut badly as well as bruised. A shrapnel bomb had broken through the cockpit, paralyzing Gregory with a shard that went into his side and damaged his spine. Lucy unstrapped them and tried to dress his wound with a piece of his uniform. "Leave me..Lucy...Get back in." he cried out feebly. "How can I save myself? Your the only one who can drive this."
"Get back in.." he said, "but give me a kiss first for my services.." Even at death's doorstep, still a joker. She kissed him and got in. "I'll love you always Luce. BIG HORUS! SAVIOR RUN!" The windshield healed itself somehow and big Horus rose. She was strapped in and helmeted. A single wire shimmied up her back and plugged itself into her mind. The screen read "Home" and the wire retracted. Horus blasted off, leaving Gregory to die below.
<UNKNOWN ERROR>
"LUCY! STAY WITH ME GIRL!" said a large man carrying her. He layed her on a bed and went to fixing her wounds. "Uncle...wheres mom.." she said. "Your mother went to go finish the super weapons. They said they would destroy the enemy in one deft blow, but they needed second opinions. Thats were your mother came in." He finished and brought her some water.
<PORTION LOCKED - MOVING ON>
"How has she been, James?" said Lucy's mother. "She's sick for about a week now. I dont know how long more she'll last." said the concerned James. Everything looked blurry. "We'll have to do it then, theres no other way to save her." said her mother. James retorted:"But what if something goes wrong, what if she goes insane? It wont be her anymore." Lucy spoke at last. "Do it. Gregory gave up his life for me. I wont let him have died for nothing."
Lucy's mother looked at James. "Prep the mind transfer unit.
<FAST FORWARDING>
"How do you feel Luce?" said her mother. Lucy looked down at her body. "I feel something. But its different, not like before." James said "Your an android now. You cant die unless someone kills you. The only thing that makes you human is these." He tapped her head and heart.
<END PLAYBACK. REMOTELY TERMINATED>
Lyinginbedmon 02-19-2005 04:50 PM
Ooh Shocked Now this sounds interesting
Generalissimo D 02-19-2005 10:35 PM
Heres another little "filler"(2 actually). These fill in any inconsistencies so far, as well as adressing certain issues.

Cast in the name of God....ye shall read!
---------------------------------------------------
Conversation


"Alan?"

"Yes Angel?"

"What just happened?"

"We let a Megadeus fly out of our grasp."

"Did you see that coming?"

"I can't say I didn't. You were to busy making your moves on him, which I

might add seemed ineffective."

"Well...what now?"

"Get on with our lives, pretend this never happened, and pray it doesn't

come back at bites us in the ass?"

"Good idea."
-----------------------------------------------------
Leon's Battle


"Lucy!" cried Leon. He was working on the automated perimeter

defenses, and needed some help getting out a turret.

The android jumped out infront of him. "Lift this up for me please."

Lucy grabbed the turret with one hand and lifted it up. Leon jumped down

and inspected the mechanisms.


He opened control panel and saw the fuse for the lifting mechanism was

fried.


He replaced it with a spare and jumped out. "Put it down. Slowly this time."

Lucy put it down.

The machine automaticly reinserted itself.

The front lawn, doorstep, backyard, and roof were littered with these

turrets.

Better safe than shot, Leon was taught.

His whole family had been devoted mechanics to Big Horus and the defenses

that powered it.

He had been learning since birth how to work all types of machinery.

His fate would have been to slave on Horus till the end of his days, until the

Red Destiny girl found him. She led Horus's true pilot, Gregory, to him.

This freed him from being forever without true friends. He was able to go

out, get around, even see parts of Prometheus other than the junkyards and

oil bars.


Leon sighed as he finished inspecting the last turrets, and started back in.

He heard something flying, like a missle. The mechanic looked up and saw a

claw carrying the pilot of Big Dante.


"What the f-," He didnt finish talking, because Lucy pushed him down.

Another claw was coming down, and crashed into the spot he had been

moments before. The claw that crashed was grasping something. It let go,

and saw it was pilot seat with a tangle of wires in it and a sort of white metal

sphere with lights in the back. "What is it, Leon?"


The mechanic remembered one of his lessons. The improvisational Core

Memory Seat. It used android memories as a substitute for the personality a

Megadeus needs to operate. Lucy looked at it. "Can I sit in it?"

"Absolutely NOT! R. Lucy Diamond Hunter. Go inside. Now." boomed Leon.

She was forced to obey the commands at the sound of her full name. Gregory

didn't even know this. Only he, the master of machines, knew it. He managed

to get the claw into the basement, and began studying it with Lucy at his

side. After a while, Lucy spotted something on the radars. A giant Megadeus

was jerkily moving toward the Diaz residence. Lucy 'lightly' nudged Leon,

which caused this to come to his attention.

"Stay here." he ordered her. He went up and activated the turrets. He

checked the ammunition stores, and went to retrieve his bazooka and rocket

launcher. Leon was not a weak man, and could easily wield both of these at

the same time if needed. The now armed man stepped outside. He saw what

was coming. A body like Big Dante, a head like Big Dunkle. He opened fire

with his rockets, hitting the head. The beast kept on walking, not even

bothered by this. The turrets turned toward it and began firing full force. The

bullets merely dented the armor ever so slightly, but nothing more serious

than a simple tap to a piece of metal. Leon fired his weapons, and with the

advantage of a closer range, he caused some disbalance in its gait. The giant

Megadeus fired 6 lasers from its head simultaineously, creating a deep cut in

the house and knocking out several turrets. Its arms raised, and the claw

ripped out from the basement. It was holding the chair again. The only

difference was that Lucy was hooked up to it. The cockpit opened and the

claw went in, Lucy intergrating with it. A shadowy man stepped out into the

air, floating. "I must thank you," said Lucifer. "For what you little freak?"

asked Leon. "for the android. It has the core memory for all four of the

Megadei that make this one up. Now with this in place, I can simply rip apart

your friends machine and reattach them accordingly." He floated back in and

the Megadeus's eye's flashed. Lucifer called out: "BIG TERRA! ACTION!" and

the giant creation of his stomped off. Big Dunkle's Lasers extended from the

back, bringing chaos down to the rest of the city. Leon went back to reload

his weapon, and stood his ground incase anyone tried to get near the place.
Generalissimo D 02-20-2005 02:49 PM
Whoa. Its like, the muse has a crush on me. Here it is. The first part of act 4. Not alot, but its something no?

Edit:removed the other coast II crap.
----------------------------------

Act 4: Child of War


"We have a choice to resist or submit. To fight back or give up." said

Gregory while zooming over the skies in Big Horus. "Let us show him that he

has no control over us."

2 blips appeared on radar. Greg spotted 2 'Slicer' Robots. They were kamazai

bombs that used sharp propellers to fly about and cause as much damage as

possible before detonating. They were not anywhere as fast as Big Horus,

but their strength relied on their small size. It was infact a Slicer that he first

fought in Horus, and nearly was nearly destroyed by it. His skill had since

improved greatly. He hit a switch and the panels on his Big's chest changed.

The center closed up, and now 6 holes appeared on the outer part. They

began to spin. The slicers flew at him as he opened fire. Smaller, faster,

weaker, and much less accurate rockets fired at them. He hit both slicers,

which flew around Big Horus.


He activated the Maximum throttle for a second and evaded their return

assault. Greg opened fire once more, disabling one. The damaged Slicer fell to

the ground and caused an explosion which knocked over some of the cars,

but nothing serious. The second Slicer was coming at him in a suicidal dash.

Our ever innovative hero did a loop-de-loop and dropped down on it with a

punch. The little sucker didnt see it coming and was thrown down, exploding

ontop of an abandoned skyscraper. The Dominus flew on forward, his mind

set on stopping that maniac from destroying his city. He never knew why he

was so attached to it, rather than people, things, or memories. Dismissing

this thought, the flew above the Corporate dome and entered it.


***************************************


"Mr. Lucifer, sir?" spoke a nervous young woman with glasses to big for her

head.


"Yes?"


"We're done with intergrating the android into Big Terra as its authentic core

memory. Your megadeus is ready for usage."


"Good," said Lucifer, "Is that all?"


"Not all sir," responded the woman, "The security team has detected Big

Horus is in the dome."


"Excellent. I'll be able to reclaim the parts necessary for the Final Big to be

released. The Data has been most impressive this cycle." Lucifer walked

down to the R&D Bay, where his birthright was resting. He boarded it and

was raised up to ground level. Big Horus was already there, standing. The

comlink activated. "Give me back Lucy, you ingrate." Lucifer laughed at him,

and said "She was mine to begin with, Reporter."


The Bigs took their fighting stances, and prepared to engage. Big Terra

made a strange shriek that sounded much like laughter. Gregory reached up

and punched through a hidden glass case, pressing the button hidden there.

A new control panel appeared next to the rails, with several buttons,

joysticks, knobs, and keypads.


"There's two ways we can do this," announced Greg," The painless way, or

our way. The painless way I get Lucy and reduce your sorry ass to rubble

quickly. Our way I get Lucy back and reduce that Megadeus to the size of my

shoes."


"We shall see who wins this battle, human." replied the now angered Lucifer.

Both of the machines started shrieking, as if speaking to one another. They

simultaeneously restarted everything.


"CAST IN THE NAME OF GOD....YE NOW WORTHY"
Lyinginbedmon 02-20-2005 04:42 PM
So they weren't worthy before? I should ask why are they alive

Good stuff
Generalissimo D 02-20-2005 04:54 PM
I put that in to mean that they are both now worthy of their opponents. (I'll put this in the prolouge) Gregory started off a very nervous pilot, unsure of his abilities. In time, as it would, his skill became very keen. Now that he has been wronged, he is at maximum Power. There is a very complicated backstory to Lucifer, but let me just say he's had his share of trials. At first he was very agressive, taking what he pleased. The Event came and reduced him to his present state. If he just fell to earth straight into a megadeus, it would have Alaned him to death. hope it helps.
Generalissimo D 02-21-2005 07:17 PM
Whoa. I need to lay off Marylin Manson a bit. This is a bit funky...and I dedicate the last part ot John Lennon. May he rest in piece.


-------------------------------------------------
Act 4(Cont.):

Horus charged at Terra with its right arm. The quicker Megadeus took the bigger one by suprise, denting the tough armor. Big Terra raised its arms, revieling Big Dunkles wrist-cuffs, and brought it down on Horus.

Gregory gritted his teeth as he was thrown down. The main screen showed Level 4 damage on Horus's left shoulder. Lucifer raised the foot of Big Terra, preparing to stomp the inferior model.

"Think fast..Think fast, cant let this freak beat me..think...fast?".

The behemoth lowered its foot down onto the head of Big Horus.

All the hidden thrusters and boosters opened up and the desperate pilot flew straight with impunity.

Gregory braced himself as Horus flew straight into the main corporate building, flipping Lucifer's machine with it.

The inhuman pilot merely stared at the ground as his Big caused a tremor in the earth, causing some sparks to fly out of the controls.

Our hero pulled out, in a considerably beat up robot now, and resumed his fighting stance.

Greg entered a combination on one of the keypads and pressed a button on his new controls, and two of the joysticks raised themselves up. Big Terra was trying to raise itself as Big Horus began to charge energy in its eyes.

A potent series of nuclear energy pulses were fired, severing the Cobra Lasers and melting off some armor.

Lucy twitched a bit, and Lucifer managed to deliver a powerful piston attack, causing the abomination to rise into the air for a moment.

"So much for your great creation, Mr. Shadow, but I do believe I have answered the question who has one this fight."

Lucifer started to laugh ravenously at this.

[What is it with this guy and laughing all the damn time?] thought Gregory.

"Yes you have, human", said the cackling dominus, "In that little ram of yours, you jammed the opening mechanism for your Megaton Missles. They were the deciding factor in this match, as even androids succumb to the potent effects of radiation. I was hoping on deflecting them myself back at you, but it seems that will no longer be necessary."

Gregory of course checked this. He must have missed the alert because indead Level 5 damage had been taken to the leg motors that unleashed his most devestating weapon.

Big Terra bumrushed him with speed faster than he thought was possible in such a large machine. Spinning its wristcuffs, it sanded off parts of Horus little by little.

Greg tried to take to the skies, but the opposing Megadeus grabbed him and simply flinged him at a wall of the dome, crashing through it.

The Big ran towards him again, this time with its terrifying pistons extended. He opened up the smaller bomb compartments and fired them all out, causing a smoke screen to cover him.

In the midst of the smoke, Big Horus took to its element. He pressed alot of buttons, turned many knobs, and tapped alot of keypads.

The result was three heavy weapons to come out of the chest panels and right shoulder. The left showed signs of moving, but the damage was simply to great.

Gregory grabbed the two first joysticks, each with a small screen with the number "80" blinking on it. For once, the two corner screens lit up and showed a targeting reticule as well as the area below him.

As his smoke screen dissapeared, Big Terra became visible. He pulled down on the trigger and a hail of smart missles with EMP Warheads fired at the landbound creature.

It was apparently unaffected, so he tried around with the other weapon. Still no effect.

Big Terra shot out some anchors and hooked itself into the ground. It raised its arms and the Death Thunder cannons reared their ugly mugs.

The plasma rounds were fired and flew at Horus who took immediate evasive manuevers. The bullets were homing, and changed direction toward their target until they lost their charge.

"HOLY SH-"

Greg was interrupted by the deafening sound of the giant O, which sucked in the plasma rounds. It hit him and the engines ceased their fire.

Hitting the auxilary igniter, the Warrior Deity roared its engines once more.

Big Terra closed its arms and its abdomen changed into a missle array. Prepared to fire, the Megadeus laughed again.

Perhaps it was that, or something else in its actions, that sent our protagonist rolling down memory lane.
*******************************************************

He was flying over someplace foriegn to him. A lady in green fell to the

assault of several smaller Big Dunkle's, and the smaller Big Dante's roamed

the city near it. A single group of three Megadei fought off the oncoming

onslaught. Gregory felt words exit his mouth:"Majors Roger Smith, Micheal

Seebach, and Alex Rosewater: Project Helios will be launched soon. I'm your

taxi cab."


The one named Seebach responded:"THANK YOU, BUT NO THANK YOU

SIR! BIG DUO OUT!" and Greg saw a smaller red bomber fly past him,

dropping tons of bombs onto the enemy. Alex and Roger were not much

better.


"ALL DUE RESPECT SIR!" said Rosewater, "WE CANT LET UP! TOO MANY OF

THESE BASTARDS COMING! IM NOT COMING UNTIL THEY STOP! BIG FAUST

OUT!"


"He's right", said Smith, "It's too late to quit now. I've been authorized for

Final Stage, and plan to burn as many of them as possible. Big O out."


The memory changed. He found himself flying over Prometheus, looking

for someone. "GREG!", screamed someone below, "GREEEG!"


Big Horus lowered itself, flying above the crowd. The cockpit opened and he

reached out to grab someone. He saw it was Lucy. "Sorry honey, had to...."


It changed yet again. He was in a field with Lucy above him. "Get back

in.." he said, "but give me a kiss first for my services.." Greg felt strength

slipping from him. She kissed him and got in. "I'll love you always Luce. BIG

HORUS! SAVIOR RUN!"


His Big rose up and his vison became blurred. The last thing he saw was the

lights of the stars and warfare above, with a tearful Lucy in the middle.

"Lucy...in the sky...with Diamonds."


To be continued...
Lyinginbedmon 02-22-2005 05:14 AM
Shocked Nice

Seen Terminal yet? I'm still waiting on a comment for the last section of chapter 9
Generalissimo D 02-22-2005 03:56 PM
Thank you. But could you actually give me some sort of criticism rather than just comments?
Lyinginbedmon 02-22-2005 05:38 PM
Well, you're grammar could use some work (but I already know that you're looking for betas) and it would be nice to actually find out what the entirety of a Megadeus looks like beyond the individual component megadeuses (like Big Terra), since it makes it very difficult to picture the story without it.

In Nemesis, I purposefully left out details relating to the Eliminar megadeus because everyone has their own idea about the limit of technology, which is what Eliminar is at the very brink of. However, that does not mean that you should use this method on every megadeus.

This ok? I'm not really much for insulting people by criticising their work so bare with me Frown
Generalissimo D 02-22-2005 05:50 PM
fair enough. Big Terra is basicly a black,red, and blue pallete. Big O's body with some crimson markings, and Big Fau's head is black with dark blue stripes. The arms are primarily Big O's but a tad longer to make room for the wristcuffs. The shouldiers are also covered in a spiky armor. I'll have to reincorporate this into the main thing, but thats for the final reattachment.